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Completed Let's solo Baldur's Gate on Insane (feat. The Codex)

Which BG2 LP style would You prefer?

  • The Codex Solo / Core

    Votes: 8 25.0%
  • The Codex + 1 helper / Hard

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • The Codex + 2 helpers / Hard

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • The Codex + 2 helpers / Insane

    Votes: 1 3.1%
  • 6 new characters / Insane

    Votes: 2 6.3%
  • kingcomrade

    Votes: 21 65.6%

  • Total voters
    32

MicoSelva

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Codex 2012 Codex 2013 Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy Insert Title Here RPG Wokedex Strap Yourselves In Codex Year of the Donut Codex+ Now Streaming! Enjoy the Revolution! Another revolution around the sun that is. Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Divinity: Original Sin 2 Bubbles In Memoria A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Pathfinder: Kingmaker Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath I helped put crap in Monomyth
Malakal said:
One baby wyvern = too much for the Codex? Huh is poison rape or what.

I think I had a pretty good run fighting single baby wyverns. Two or more = death, though.

Poison is pretty much rape due to 60 FPS game speed not giving me time to react and insane difficulty double damage buffing up certain poisons to 10 damage/second or something like that.

Next update is half-done and should be posted tomorrow - unless something unusal happens and I have some free time later today.
 

MicoSelva

backlog digger
Patron
Joined
Sep 10, 2010
Messages
7,482
Location
Vigil's Keep
Codex 2012 Codex 2013 Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy Insert Title Here RPG Wokedex Strap Yourselves In Codex Year of the Donut Codex+ Now Streaming! Enjoy the Revolution! Another revolution around the sun that is. Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Divinity: Original Sin 2 Bubbles In Memoria A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Pathfinder: Kingmaker Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath I helped put crap in Monomyth
Update #24: Iron Throne Mines

We have finally reached Cloakwood Mines!
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And not a fucking moment too soon.

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Or rather - we will reach it after dealing with these spiders.

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Certainly haven't seen them in a while.

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I'd say Mirror Image helps us deal with them with barely a scratch, but since all images are still present, the spell was wasted.

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Better safe than sorry. Spiders can't be trusted.

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The remaining journey is short and uneventful.

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Gee, isn't that exactly like the one sex you've had so far in your life?

Hey!

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Area entry stats. I don't think that Battle Horror is going anywhere soon.

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First, we explore the surroundings of the mines, killing some forest stuff on the way.

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We also meet this guy and his detachment of guards.

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I am The Codex, and this is my party, so I will cry if I want to! Wait, why did I say that? You made me do it, didn't you!?

This is what you get for talking shit about my sexual life. Never do that again.

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Ha! Nothing to speak about anyway!

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Back on topic: there are five guards, so we try to limit the threat by casting Hold Person. Only one is affected.

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Oh fuck! Shit! My lung!

These guards seem to have very sharp swords.

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The Codex shoots them with wand of fear and starts retreating running the fuck away.

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Stop chasing me, dumbfucks! You're supposed to be frightened, goddammit!

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For some reason, they still follow, so we try some shooting back.

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This is not fucking fair! Go away! :x

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To add insult to injury, the wolf we had killed before has respawned with a vengeance and is very eager to offer surprise forced buttsecks to our hero.

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Wha-? The fuck...?

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Exactly.

Death count: 93

Reloading.

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I don't want to hear a samn word about that.

Oh? And I was just thinking, we should talk about Your sex life now. It seems to gave gained some interesting developments lately, no?

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Shut. The fuck. Up.

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This time, we sneak by the guards (yeah, that one guy was named, so we should kill him, but whatever). Stealth only fails when we pass by the wolf again.

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REVENGE!

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Die, fucking animal!

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After some uninteresting sneaking by some people and animals, we get ready to enter the Iron Throne's hidden fortress.

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Remake? Why not the original?

Let's just say that the art of making movie trailers was not as developed in 1958 as it is today. Time to move inside.

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I hate being stuck with guard duty, serge. Nothing ever happens here.

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Yeah, Nobby, I know. Want a smoke?

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Sure do, serge.

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We pass this happy bunch of four people standing around and doing nothing. As these guys have names, they must die.

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I don't feel much of an urge to charge at them with my sword. Let's do it in some kind of smart way.

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The Codex stands in a tactical position, allowing him to see only one of the enemy mages - Kysus.

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We cast Magic Missile and using the perfect timing granted to us by autopause, immediately start shooting him with the bow of marksmanship.

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Fuck yes! Die, wimp!

All four missiles strike him at almost the same time, and he falls.

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Time to take care of Genthore.

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I don't think he can be killed with a magic missile and an arrow.

Yeah, me neither. But he looks dumb, so we'll try charm him.

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And it works!

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Algernon's Cloak FTW!

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Genthore being allied with us initiates dialogue with the group's leader - Drasus.

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It's not really what I always say, but I could as well, so let's roll with it.

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What? Dialogue made Genthore hostile again! Fucking cheating game!

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Uh... Plan B?

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Luckily, Genthore really seems to be stupid and some time passess before he reacts. This lets us focus on Drasus. We cast hold person on him, at it's a success!

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So far so good. What now?

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Genthore is lured away a little more, and blinded.

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How blind can you be not to see!?

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BYE BYE, BEAUTIFUL!

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We immediately go back to Drasus and start hacking at him, but the spell wears off a tad too soon.

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Ouh fouhk! My briain is splilling ouuta maey haed!

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We try to run away, but to no avail, since Drasus is The Flash, or at least wearing boots of speed.

Death count: 94

Load game.

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I am going to gut this fucker alive!

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Since charm seems to be useless here, we try to hold Genthore instead.

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Stay where you are!

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It doesn't work and Genthore manages to wound The Codex. Luckily, he doesn't pack quite as much punch as Drasus. We move back to the foolproof 'blind him' plan.

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Watch the birdie!

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Genthore cannot into blind fighting. He should learn from Zatoichi.

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No subtitles.

I know, sorry.

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A magic plate armor is our loot. Should be good gold.

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After a few attempts we reach this tricky position allowing us to see Rezdan and be out of Drasus' range. BTW, it's really great like they don't give a fuck about Kysus lying dead in front of them. Enemy AI is the single most exploitable thing in this game.

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We try 'the Kysus combo' on him, but no instakill this time. Rezdan probably has more HP.

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Two arrows later, the fucker is still alive and even casting (successful) spells.

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Help! HEEEEEELP! I AM GOING TO DIIIIIEEEEE!

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He manages to cast half of the mage's spell list on The Codex before Horror wears off - but it's not enough to kill our hero!

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MY TURN!

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Yeah, bow! Good job!

Three more arrows are needed to slay him. He did heal himself a bit, with Larloch's Minor Drain in the meantime, though.

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He doesn't drop anything impressive.

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Only the cherry on top of the cake left - Drasus.

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We start with Skull Trap. Drasus does not look very impressed.

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Shit! I'll hide in that storeroom!

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You don't seem to be the first person with that idea.

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Fuck!

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The guard is a no-bullshit guy and immediately drives his sword through The Codex's thigh. Drasus also joins this little closet rendez-vous.

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Whoa. This place has suddenly become much too crowded. I'll just leave.

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They didn't follow us? WTF?

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Maybe they're enjoying their newly-discovered gayness in there, or something...

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Whatever the reason, we can now calmly check Kysus' body for possessions.

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Mages in this party are poor as fuck. Warriors must have been getting lion's share of the loot.

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After we make sure no important equipment will disappear, due to time passing, we rest a bit to renew The Codex' spell supply.

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Let me just cast mirror image, and I'm ready to face Drasus and his new lover again.

Stop implying gay sex taking place!

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Hey, they've been in there for the last 24 hours. There must be some reason for that. Also, there were no chicks in their party... :smug:

Whatever! I don't want to think about it.

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Hold Person takes care of the guard, but Drasus makes a save.

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I would prefer it the other way around.

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We try to blind Drasus instead, but he saves this time too.

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Fucking lucky faggot!

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The Codex does not seem to be a match for this guy in one-on-one melee combat.

Death count: 95

Reload.

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For the record: being killed by a gay does not make me less of a man.

Of course not.

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Another approach with the same tactics, since I'm too lazy to think of anything else, and remember Drasus failing a save against Hold Person once already.

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Yes!

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RAPE TIME! Uh, not in a sexual way, of course!

Of course...

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Obviously, they die.

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Mwahahahaha! Slaughter!

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Our hefty loot.

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These boots would be really nice (actually, largely overpowered) if they provided a constant haste effect. Instead, they only double moving speed. This can still be useful, but not for us. First, Boots of Evasion give 5 point bonus to AC against ranged attacks, which is simply too good to give up. Second, I'm playing at 60 FPS (default is 30), and already often don't know what's going on, when everybody on the screen is running like crazy. Additional doubling of The Codex speed would only add to the madness.

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Finally having dealt with Drasus' merry crew, we can move on with exploring the compound. This building is probably the barracks.

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Spot on. Two guards inside. They are treated with Color-Spray.

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Despite the 'save vs spell' messages, both fall to the ground unconscious.

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Maybe they're pretending? Thinking I won't bother to kill them if they aren't a threat?

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Well, I will.

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We find a new type of potion in one of the containers.

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The duration is really short, but automatically successful saving throws are not too shabby.

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The upper floor is a set of small chests containing nothing special.

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Some guard tries to hinder our progress and must be eliminated.

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There are two more inside the building with the elevator leading to the mines.

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I'll quickly kill them and we can move on.

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Backstab, fucker!

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Huh? What just happened?

Death count: 96

Reloading.

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I'll tell you something: I started to feel a kind of respect for these guys when one of them sliced my arm off. But that won't stop me from forcing their own genitals down their throats, for killing me.

Uh... You want to rest and get some protection spells?

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Nah. My badassery alone should be enough. And a little luck.

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Sneak attack!

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Dagger of Venom FTW - one of the guard dies, while we fight the other one. Codex gets some pain too, but nothing to worry about just yet.

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HELL YEAH! SLAUGHTER!

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We search the room and find shit. Not 'some shit', just shit.

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Time for some mine explorin' to be done! You might be able to deduce our tactics from the screenshot above.

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There's an elevator in the basement that will take us to the first level.

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Level completed!

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Have I already mentioned, I really like being invisible?

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Time for the second level.

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The southwest door are locked and lockpicking counts as 'aggressive' action that cancels invisibility, so we'll come back here a bit later.

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There's a hidden corridor here that allows to bypass most of the level. Would be very useful, if not for the 'no run-throughs' rule.

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Yeah, about that one. It really has to go, if we are to play BG2 too.

I was thinking along the same lines.

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There are a couple of ghouls (or were they ghasts?) here, but nothing really dangerous.

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There are two more exits from the secret corridor. This one in the middle is not the one to go through, if you're trying to bypass the level.

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I'm guessing it is the one to go through if you are suicidal, so we are going to do it.

Exactly!

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Holy fuck! Hell! Shit! Cock! What is this!?

Good we have invisibilty, huh?

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Seriously, I won't have to fight them all, right?

There's a named mage here, so of course You will have to fight them.

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:rage:

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We move into the corridor and our timing is accidentally perfect, since invisibility wears off the exact same moment. One of the guards notices us.

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Why did you follow me instead of raising an alarm, you dumbfuck?

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I'll just kill you, so your genes of stupidity don't get passed on to the next generation!

Guards here are rather tough. Even one can be threat at melee range.

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We strike with wand of fear into the middle of the guard's room. Will this be enough to give us an edge?

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Nope.

Death count: 97

Reloading.

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This fight will be rather difficult, I think.

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We sneak through the room to a better defense spot and cast Skull Trap inside.

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Get them, Morte!

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The effect is rather good. Only one death, but a considerable amount of damage overall.

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This spot does not ensure we only fight one enemy at a time, but reduces the threat considerably. Bow-wielding enemies are not half as dangerous for The Codex, thanks to his +8 AC vs ranged bonus.

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Wand of fear is used to increase our odds even more.

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Oh yeah, I rule, baby!

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Some of the guards are still there, completely uninterested in what's going on, and why they comrades die at the other end of the room.

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I'd say it doesn't make any sense, but if they gave a fuck I would probably be dead by now, so screw it.

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Another guard dies.

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Careful treading allows us to see one enemy at a time. This time it's a Black Talon Elite.
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I vaguely remember these guys from my playthrough before. They were good with bows, right?

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Rather good, yes.

Death count: 98

Loading game.

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Why did I die from one arrow like this? This doesn't seem right.

Let's see. Longbows. Magic arrows. Double 'insane' damage...

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Ok, I get it. If they hit, they kill. What do we do?

Since we're not in a hurry, let's rest.

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Suck it, realism!

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We cast our freshly-prepared Skull Trap to soften the remaining enemies a bit.

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None of them dies just yet, so we retreat and cast Mirror Image.

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Try to guess which one is the real me, fuckwads!

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Fortunately, Black Talons cannot into guessing correctly and die.

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But what's this!? We are attacked from behind by Hareishan the mage and one of the guards.

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They actually went through the secret passage to do this? I'm impressed.

Impressed doesn't even begin to cover it. See that lightning bolt?

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Oh. Fuck. I'm dead, right?

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Actually: wrong! Mirror Image is still active and saves our hero's life. We move away from the path of returning lightning.

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Hareishan gets some of his own lightning, but doesn't die just yet.

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I'll lend him a hand in that, no problem.

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But first, the guard!

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We unleash The Kysus Barrage on Hareishan.

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He was wounded before, so it's enough to kill him off.

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Who's the awesome mage here!? You!? I don't think so!

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Our loot. I don't remember if we had Haste before. Well, we do now.

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And another type of portable fireball potion. Should be useful.

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Black Talons dropped some magic arrows for us.

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I decide to ignore Yeslick and Rill here. Joinable NPCs that were prisoners never have any useful gear anyway...

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You sound as if the others were packed with wands of summon monster at least.

...while Rill's quest gives XP and reputation, and we don't need any of these.

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Moving back to the door I mentioned when entering this level. Some guard dies.

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Also, a trap.

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Guards protecting the door die too, of course.

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Should have thought twice before enlisting as guards for an evil trade organization. Choice and consequence, boys!

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After all the invisibility-cancelling doors have been unlocked, we can renew it and continue with Hollow Man action.

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:yeah:

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Level completed!

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The next one starts with another one of these enemy-packed rooms. Luckily, only anonymous guards and hobgoblins here, so we'll let them live.

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They're not really worth the effort anyway.

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This Natasha mage girl will have to die, though.

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I might have other plans for her. :smug:

I think you don't have much of a chance. She seems to have some kind of fetish for hobgoblins.

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Tasteless bitch must die, then!

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Excuse me, coming through! Ah, fuck it! I'll just go around.

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Whoa, that must have been one hell of a party here!

I vaguely remember an ogre mage encounter here...

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I don't see any ogre mages. And believe me, I would have noticed if there was one.

Must remember it wrong then. Ah, whatever, let's move on.

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I probably cast Invisibility too soon, as it wears off before we are able to explore whole level. Once again, a single guard notices.

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And once again he's a stupid shittard genetic dead end!

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Hurts!? Blame natural selection!

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A bunch of hobgoblins learns the meaning of words: 'arrow to the chest'.

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A slight mistake here. We should've backstabbed Natasha instead of going all Kysus on her.

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Yeah. We should have.

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In the end, it all works well, though. Victory is ours.

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You do remember about those hobgoblins there?

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What hobgoblins?

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Right.

We get one new spell: Slow.

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My reason for being here is unlocking the city of Baldur's Gate, but I doubt you'd understand that, so I'll just kill you.

Exploring the rest of the level goes surprisingly smoothly. This is the only significant stealth failure we experience.

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Mwahahahaha! Slaughter!

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Level completed!

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There's a brief combat with hobgoblins before entering the next one. Nothing worth mentioning really.

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Why do you mention it then?

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Alright! Chapter boss fight is nearing.

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I'm so excited, I just can't hide it... Except, you know, Daveorn is a wimp and will die without even dealing one point of damage.

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These traps summon Battle Horrors (or were they Doom Guards?), and constitute 70% of threat present on this level.

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This guard is another 20%.

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This guy here? Watch me kill him without even breaking a sweat!

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No, I think, I am right in this particular matter.

Death count: 99

Reloading.

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Ok, I admit, he's no ordinary guard.

If You listened to me, You wouldn't have to learn it the hard way.

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Let's just kill him. I don't like it when people who managed to hurt me are alive.

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We decide to check if this guy is badass enough to challenge Rutger Hauer.

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That's a negative.

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Mwahahahaha! Slaughter!

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Back to the traps. There are more than I remember. Or maybe I've never reached this spot with a character sufficiently skilled in trap detection?

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I'm simply the best!

Ok, seriously, what's with You and 80s' pop sung by black women today?

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Right, let's balance it out with some Swedish rap-metal from the 90s. I'M THE BIGGEST! THE BEST! BETTER THAN THE REST!

Uh... Stay with us, noble audience! We're just about to get on with it. Really!

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A healing potion. Nice find, considering we've used two on the way here.

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And another one.

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Nice of them to consider my needs.

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Yet another trap. This time just a regular lightning bolt, if I recall.

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It's perfectly normal to remember such details about a computer game you haven't played in years. Except, you know, it's NOT.

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Wow, this guy is so full of unfounded smugness, that I'm surprised he doesn't post on these forums regularly.

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Also: this spell makes him look really gay.

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SURPRISE!

22 damage. I was counting on a tad more. Also: no poison. :decline:

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Daveorn starts teleporting around (never quite understood how that is supposed to help him...) and gets an arrow of biting to the face. This time poison works fine. :smug:

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He appears near the initial spot again.

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Hey, Daveorn! Catch!

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Boom! Heartshot!

And he dies without even dealing one point of damage. The Codex' prediction was correct after all.

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Of course!

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WHOA! That came out of nowhere! Almost gave me a heart attack!

Killing Daveorn triggers Chapter #5.

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Our loot.

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Huh? He was wearing two robes...?

Better not to think about it.

The black one is robe of the evil archmagi. Should net us a considerable amount of money. Bracers are the 'of defense' sort - best pair in the game (AC = 6).

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Some useful potions are found.

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They would be more useful if we actually started using them, you know.

Details.

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We meet Daveorn's sex slave apprentice.

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You may go, mr not-worth-killing.

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There's also a mustard jelly here. It embodies the missing 10% of threat present on this level.

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Not one of these...

Don't worry.

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We now have a non-piercing magical weapon, so no sweat.

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Fuck yeah! I love this sword!

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A lot of loot here, including lareal's tear necklace worth 3000 gold.

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1k gold and Knock spell (new for us).

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And some protection scrolls.

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Also, there's another wand of fear in one of the chests. We now have three.

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That's a lot of loot. Pity I have to leave some of it behind. Could use a mule of some kind.

We'll stash the excess stuff into chests here. We can always come back for it, if it's really needed.

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Level completed!

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This elevator takes us straight to the surface, but it's one way only. To come back we would have to get through all the levels again.

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No wonder Daveorn never left this place.

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I really wish something exciting happened here, serge. I'm bored.

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Yeah, Nobby, I know. How about another smoke?

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Won't refuse, serge.

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Area completed!
----------------------

Next time: We enter the majestic city of Baldur's Gate, buy a fuckload of spells, and try to avoid being eaten by dogs.
 
Last edited:

Pussycat669

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Tutu will be the only mod installed for this playthrough.

This is a little late to ask as a not so enthusiastic BG player but what exactly does this mod do?
Some of the spoiler tags in your first post need a little reediting btw.
 

MicoSelva

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Codex 2012 Codex 2013 Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy Insert Title Here RPG Wokedex Strap Yourselves In Codex Year of the Donut Codex+ Now Streaming! Enjoy the Revolution! Another revolution around the sun that is. Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Divinity: Original Sin 2 Bubbles In Memoria A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Pathfinder: Kingmaker Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath I helped put crap in Monomyth
Pussycat669 said:
Tutu will be the only mod installed for this playthrough.

This is a little late to ask as a not so enthusiastic BG player but what exactly does this mod do?
Some of the spoiler tags in your first post need a little reediting btw.

It allows to play BG1 content with BG2 interface and mechanics. You can find more information here:
http://www.pocketplane.net/tutu

Thanks for the hint with the tags. Should be fixed now.
 

taplonaplo

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Messages
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There was an ogre mage there, but he is invisible codex style.

Also, was daveorn worth 4k or 5k xp? Just wondering if battle horror isn't a goner in fact.
 

Malakal

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Once again I am reminded of the fact that BG1 is boring boring boooring (to quote Lilarcor).
 

Orgasm

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Take the Boots of Cheese and run through to Sarevok and BG2.
 

acolyte

Educated
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Watching the poor Codex getting kicked around, but eventually prevailing, is good fun :)
Thanks for the great LP!
 

MicoSelva

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taplonaplo said:
There was an ogre mage there, but he is invisible codex style.

I was aware of him and purposefully avoided conforntation ('weird, he's not here' dialogue is supposed to be in character).

taplonaplo said:
Also, was daveorn worth 4k or 5k xp? Just wondering if battle horror isn't a goner in fact.

More than 4k - he's out fattest kill now.

Oesophagus said:
I wonder if the ankheg respawn rate will bring much :incline: ?

Not sure what You mean. I'm not planning any more ankheg fighting in this LP.

Orgasm said:
Take the Boots of Cheese and run through to Sarevok and BG2.

No run-throughs!
If I wanted to rush through the game, I wouldn't actually need these boots. A supply of potions of invisibility would be more useful.
 

MicoSelva

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Update #25: Guilding & Shopping

This is it - no more wilderness (almost). Its' time to invade explore the city of Baldur's Gate!

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Hell yeah!

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But first, we have to get there.

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Hell no...

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The journey...

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I'm warning you!

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The Codex' killing stats so far. We've passed 200 000 'kill XP'. Also, Daveorn is now considered the strongest enemy we've defeated.

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HA HA HA! OH WOW!

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While exploring the the area, we meet an ekheg!

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One? Don't these things always come in pairs?

Not this time, apparently.

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He's no match for The Codex and his mirror images.

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Ankheg drops a quest item for a quest I had completely forgotten.

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That is seriously disappointing. You should play through this game a few more times in the near future to learn every little detail by heart. FUCK THE DAGGER, LET'S GO!

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Well, hello there...

Leave her alone, you pervert, she's like 15!

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Looks all grown up to me.

Also, notice the flail she wields in her right hand.

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Yeah, on second thought, she seems a bit too young after all.

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We loot her house, only to find nothing of value at all.

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Wow, this bridge is HUGE. I wonder if the creator was compensating for something...

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This game has no jump mechanics. How am I supposed to pass this spot?

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Ok, nevermind that. Forgot that reality has nothing to say here.

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Gods, I love messing with these Flaming Fist guys.

The officer seems unsatisfied with the answer and calls his superior.

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What the fuck do you mean by 'fiasco', you fucker!? All my endeavours in Nashkel mine were a huge success!

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Finally, the end of this bridge!

There's a joinable NPC...

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Is there? Let me handle him.

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'Taketh thou a hike'. That's pretty good.

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Area completed!

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This bridge is simply enormous. The architect must have had a really small dick.

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Time to enter the city itself.

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Finally!

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WTF, Elmo!? I'm trying to explore the city! GTFO of my way!

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So, this is the famous city of Baldur's Gate? I am disappoint. Although that lady there seems to like me...

Let's move on.

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Oh, look, it's exactly like the one you're working at!

You're pushing it.

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There's bunch of useless stuff sold here. I mean, really useless. What IS the purpose of selling cursed scrolls?

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Pranks. I could think of a few myself.

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It seems there are also cursed scrolls to be found for free here. The Codex' lore is enough to identify the non-cursed ones and this one resists.

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I'm not going to show every detail of every house in the area, but I'll mark the semi-important ones. Like this one here.

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Arkion, who lives inside, wants some dead bodies from the sewers.

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So, he's not only necrophiliac, but coprophiliac as well. I think I want to leave this house. Immediately.

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The four houses aligned here all lead to the same place.

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I know the password?

You do.

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I know the password... How do I know the password?

It's not random.

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Oh.

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'Fafhrd'. Ok. WTF is it, and how do I pronounce it?

Don't bother yourself with that. Just some Bioware writer showing off his appreciation for classic fantasy literature.

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So, this is the thieves' guild? What do they normally do around here?

The same thing all other NPCs in this game do. Stand around and wait for you to talk to them.

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But we haven't come here for sightseeing. We've come for this!

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Oh yes! Is this what I think it is?

Yup.

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And thieves won't mind if we just take it?

Nope.

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That's... stupid.

Yup. But extremely convenient.

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Black Dahlia (or whatever her name is) standing next to the barrel with the book has a store with actually useful stuff - including some of the best potions in the game.

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We get some thieving quest that we might or might not do.

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A trap? No respect. No trust. I am disappoint.

You do want to steal everything that's not nailed down, don't you?

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Your point?

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These thieves sure like their traps.

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The sad part is, that there's nothing interesting in these chests, so this is an exercise in futility.

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I've just noticed that The Codex is tired, so we head to the Elfsong tavern to rest.

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Tonight, you dream of BLOOD!

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Ok, how is that unusual? I dream of blood 80% of the time. The other 20% is...

Thank you, I really don't need to know that.

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Manual found in thieves' guild gets identified. It boosts dexterity.

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A dextertity increasing book in a thieves' guild. Who could have guessed!?

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The Codex gets new Awesome Powahs.

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The bad part is boosting DEX from 19 to 20 doesn't really provide any real advantage. I definitely should have created a half-elf with 18 DEX/18 CON instead of an elf with 19/17.

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I actually started with 15 CON.

Oh, sorry, spoken too soon.

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There are some people on the upper floor of Elfsong that we could talk to. We won't.

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And, since we're in a big city, we will go to the candy magic shop.

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Yes!

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We buy a fuckload of spells, of which the two visible in the screenshot are probably the most important.

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Fireball! I'm so happy to see you! :love:

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Pity, we won't be able to use these in this game.

Also, it seems, that The Codex can't inscribe Dimension Door into his spellbook. There' no message 'you fail at scribing' or anything like that - it just doesn't work. I wonder if this is some kind of design decision to limit exploiting this spell. Anyway, :decline: .

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We shall also visit the top floor of this store.

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For some reason, I think I should save my game in a brand new slot cast my mirror image.

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It's true that I'm a very enjoyable person, but I think calling me a walking party is a bit too much.

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What's a simian?

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Look, he seems to like this LP almost as much as I do.

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The Codex vs. four enemy mages - who shall prevail?

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Actually, me and my mirror images outnumber these guys five to four, so no sweat.

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They try to scare out hero, but to no avail.

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I'm just too fucking awesome for these guys.

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We counter with Skull Trap. William Garst dies.

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A few arrows end Oulam's life too. Melf's Acid Arrow destoys one mirror image.

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Two more arrows and Wheber Ott falls too. Another mirror image takes Agannazar's Scorcher to the illusionary face.

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The Kysus Barrage (TM) is unleashed on Niemain.

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HELL YES, WHO'S THE FUCKING BOSS!?

Almost too easy.

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Looting time.

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Wand of fire! :yeah:

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The ring is a cursed one.

Other dead mages only have some gold, basic spells and worthless robes. Nothing interesting.

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Area completed!

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Time for the next one.

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Why this one? There's nothing essential in there, if I recall.

Trust me.

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Fuck off!

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Huh? What are they counting? I'm curious.

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What? The door was open!

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The fuck!? Teleporting dogs?

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OW! THE DOOR WAS OPEN, I swear! Ah, fuck it! Invisibility!

What now?

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Can't move. They're blocking me.

Dimension Door?

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That would be a waste. I'll just kill them.

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Sweet dreams, doggies!

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Ah, shit! You're gonna pay for that! In blood!

Potion, quick!

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DAMN, my spleen! This guy is seriously starting to piss me off!

Two more potions are used.

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FUCK YEAH! How do you feel as dog food, HUH!?

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BITE ON THIS, BITCH!

We have to use another potion to survive this part.

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Some of the dogs wake up before we manage to kill them off.

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But it doesn't change the outcome of the combat (although, the last potion is used up).

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Whew, that was close!

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One more dog was hidden in the fog of war. The Codex takes care of it ninja-style.

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Someone here is reading my mind. I was hoping to find some healing potions here.

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Some of the mind reading was not 100% accurate, it seems.

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I can always sell it.

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This would be really nice if I haven't already bought this spell fifteen minutes ago.

Who could have known.

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You. Should have.

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What are these?

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Yeah, right.

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There's a conveniently located store in the next building. I guess you could say it's a-

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Say words 'convenience' and 'store' in one sentence, and I'll teach you some sword swallowing, THE HARD WAY!

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What the fuck is this!?

It may be the single most lootable store in the game. And the best thing is, none of these containers are 'flaming fist locked'. Guards are not called when you check them out.

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Sweet! What are we waiting for?

I'll only list the notable loot.

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Ring of infravision.

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Some magic arrows.

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Mace +1 and a healing potion.

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Potion of mind focusing (+3 INT and DEX for 12 hours).

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Uh, some potion of strength, I think?

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Potion of absorption.

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This reminds me of some cave with some golems we were supposed to get back to.

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We haven't found this kind of arrows before. Moderately useful in this game, but if the dispel effect works regardless of saving throws, nothing short of awesome in BG2.

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Uh, area completed - at least the immediately accessible part, that is.

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We could use Dimension Door to teleport to the other side of the wall and explore... Uh, forget I said anything. Actually, I might have temporary misplaced the scroll with that spell, so let's just finish for now.

Indeed.
------------------

Next time: we pursue a quest and end up dying a lot while doing stuff completely unrelated to it.

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Story of my life.
 
Last edited:

MicoSelva

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Codex 2012 Codex 2013 Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy Insert Title Here RPG Wokedex Strap Yourselves In Codex Year of the Donut Codex+ Now Streaming! Enjoy the Revolution! Another revolution around the sun that is. Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Divinity: Original Sin 2 Bubbles In Memoria A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Pathfinder: Kingmaker Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath I helped put crap in Monomyth
Bonus Update #2: Unfinished Business

Finding that potion of absorption in the previous update reminded The Codex and me of an unfinished business that has been awaiting us a tad too long already. It's time to take care of it.

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Wait, you're creating a whole bonus update for that? Why do I suddenly have a bad feeling about this?

No idea. I'm pretty sure everything will go smoothly.

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We go back to FAI to resupply, and rest to prepare a specilized spell set.

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Aren't golems immune to magic anyway?

Exactly.

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Reaching the cave is the easy part. Sirines do not respawn.

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We temporarily replace the girdle of piercing with this one.

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Potion of absorption provides us even more protection vs. bluntness. To get immunity we would have to switch our protagonist for some other one.

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Read Cursed Scrolls of Lame Humour lately, haven't you?

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As everyone probably already figured out, this brings our AC vs blunt weapons to -14. Will that be enough for the flesh golems?

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Uh, yeah, will it?

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That's exactly what we're going to find out in a moment!

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What? No mirror image?

Don't be a wuss. I'm sure you can defeat one little golem without any buffs.

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OH YEAH! DECAPITATION! WE RULE, SWORD!

As everyone can see, even -14 AC doesn't protect The Codex from the golem's fists. Luckily, 20 damage is nothing that can't be taken care of by a couple of CLWs.

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YES! Fall before The Codex!

Second golem shows us why we were so afraid of them before. 36 damage in one hit is not something that can be ignored.

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We get the remaining part of the treasure that was previously left due to limited backpack space. There's another potion of absorption here (which I forgot about), meaning we could have came back right after getting Spider's Bane, sneak in here, drink it and then get rid of the golems. Oh, well.

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So? Is that it?

Well, yes, pretty much.

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Really? What the fuck? That was like, less than ten screenshots. Not worth your time. And especially not worth mine. If I were the audience I would request my money back!

Well, ok, you may be right. This might be a little too brief to justify an update. Wait, let me think of something...

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Maybe you should add this part to some other update, or...

I've got it! Oh, You're gonna love this.

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I somehow doubt that.

Alright, noble audience, it's time for...









The Codex' Cooking Corner

With Your host, Mico Selva.

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What.

Tonight, we're going to bake ourselves a very special meal: Dead Drizzt!

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Wha- Ah, ooookaaaay...

To do that, first we have to prepare all the ingredients, which are, as follow:

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One Drizzt (alive).

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At least one badass archer (*).

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That's me!

(*) two or more are recommended

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One high quality bow per archer. We're going to use the Long Bow of Marskmanship.

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Arrows of piercing. About 20 per archer should be enough, but the more, the better. Their useful trait is +4 to hit bonus, as Drizzt will resist additional 6 piercing damage anyway. Arrows +2 can also be used, for worse to hit bonus, but actually better damage.

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One or more Wands of Monster Summoning with at least 10-12 total charges (**).

(**) 20 charges, or more, recommended

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One potion of heroism per archer.

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Haste spell. One should be enough, but preparing two won't hurt, especially when using less than three archers.

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Bracers of Archery (***).

(***) Gauntlets of weapon skill can also be used, but may wield worse results.

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One obsessive-compulsive gamer (****).

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You one ugly motherfucker

(****) not included with the game

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Some buffing spells can be added for additional flavour. Especially useful are those increasing THAC0. We're going to use Luck.

Having all the ingredients ready, start with drinking potions of heroism with your archers. When they've done that, begin summoning monsters around Drizzt. He should ignore them as long as they're not gnolls. The moment first bunch of gnolls is summoned, Drizzt will go ax crazy and attack them.

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We got gnolls as the second summon - a little unlucky. Drizzt starts killing them, so we order all summons to attack him, while still summoning more monsters with the wand. You can also start shooting at Drizzt with the arrows of piercing in between the summons.

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At some moment you will decide that there are enough monsters. A good moment is one when you can't even see Drizzt, due to him being surrounded by too many enemies. I've decided at the moment visible in the above screenshot, which shall prove to be a tad too soon.

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What do you mean by 'too soon'?

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Cast Haste, so it affects your archers and as much of the monsters as possible.
(Also: Monsters fighting Drizzt sometimes start to panic and run away, You can then cast resist fear to ensure some kind of crowd control.)

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Additional buffing spells can also be cast.

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All this brings The Codex' THAC0 down to -1. Drizzt supposedly has an AC of -10, so we should be able to hit him about 50% of the time.

This is the right moment to start shooting him with every artillery available, and hope the monsters will last long enough for him to die. If there appears a possibility that they might not, summon more with the wand(s).

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For some reason, I missed a good moment for that and Drizzt has come to personaly tell The Codex that he does not appreciate the little prank that we've decided to play on him.

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Uh... help?

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This is the time for emergency measures, such as potion of invisibility, or - when it comes to us - an oil of speed.

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We use it to retreat a little and summon a few more monsters.

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It seems that he was barely alive before our retreat, as he dies after a lucky war dog bite.

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Yes! Good dog!

And so, our dead Drizzt has been baked. It tastes good.

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Wait, why has my reputation dropped by 10 points? Has anyone seen me killing him? It doesn't make any sense!

No. But then, nobody has seen you helping the dryad earlier. I haven't heard You complaining then.

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Whatever.

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Despite the 'critical hit averted by helmet' messages we sometimes got while attacking him, he does not drop any hedgear.

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He's probably just really hardheaded.

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This armor is great for a thief, as it doesn't block using skills like pickpocket or trap detection. Unfortunately, it does block arcane spellcasting.

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I will keep it anyway, as a trophy.

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A nice weapon, but not really useful for us, so will be sold.

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This scimitar is unusable for The Codex due to alignment constraints.

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I'm satisfied now. Are we done?

Not yet. I know cooking itself is the fun part, but we can't leave a mess in the kitchen afterwards. Time for some cleaning up.

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First, we visit a temple to donate some money for the widows and orphans.

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Don't forget 'the golden chalice for the priest' fund.

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Appropriate donations bump up our reputation to 18.

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We also get a chance to finally talk to Prism.

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We just were at a temple of wisdom, three days of travel away. How is that a chance to talk to Prism?

The really funny part is that the woman of his dreams is Ellesime, who might be familiar to people who have played BG2.

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If she's as hot a babe as Prism claims, I'm definitely looking forward to meet her!

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After the little talk, which increases our reputation by another point, Prism spontaneously dies (and I'm not joking here).

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He probably just realized the pointlessness of living as an NPC in this game.

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He also drops emeralds needed for another quest.

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We carry them to Nashkel to Oublek the bounty officer.

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Greywolf? Me? What a joke! Can't you tell I am much more awesome than that guy?

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Telling the truth nets us yet another reputation point.

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We also get 300 gold for fetchng the emeralds.

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What a ripoff! I could have sold them for more in the nearby store!

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The Codex' repuation is back to 20, which means that if You donate a lot of money to the church, kill artists by talking to them and tell the truth to clerks, people will forgive you such trivialities as killing one of the greatest heroes of the Forgotten Realms.

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Yes, it doesn't make any fucking sense! Are we done with the distractions now?

Pretty much. Back to the city we go!
 
Last edited:

Malakal

Arcane
Glory to Ukraine
Joined
Nov 14, 2009
Messages
10,275
Location
Poland
Good delf is dead delf.
 

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