Completed Let's solo Baldur's Gate on Insane (feat. The Codex)

[Azira]

I approve. Drizzt is just too annoying to be left alive.

 

[Malakal]

Agree, remember to rekill him in BG2.

 

[Yeesh]

 

[Crooked Bee]

What a nice culinary update.

 

[Merkwürdigliebe]

Sounds tasty, the codex approves.

 

[Orgasm]

snipy snipe

 

[Orgasm]

dammit, missed it

 

[taplonaplo]

Have i missed something, or we don't get updates only coz we don't ask for it enough?

 

[Crooked Bee]

Have i missed something, or we don't get updates only coz we don't ask for it enough?

 

[MicoSelva]

Yeah, I kinda like being begged for things.

Actually, it's the same thing as with update #17 (Durlag's Tower), but even worse. #26 is already as long as #17 was, and it's only 80% complete as of now.
The reason for that is me squeezing two areas into one update now, so the whole city is done in 3-4 updates, instead of 7-8. Also, I had a bit less time this week. (Still, I'll be trying to finish this LP before the end of the year. Wish me luck.)

tl;dr: Upcoming update is long = it takes a lot of time to write.

 

[desocupado]

Where's mah update!?

 

[MicoSelva]

Update #26A: EXTREME CHEESE, part I

So, what's your excuse for the delay this time?

This:

Fucking MCA fanboy.

I'm not a...
Ok, you know what, let's get back to business.

Update #26A

So, having satisfied our appetite for dead drows, we can now go back to exploring the majestic city of Baldur's Gate.

Right. I do not think anybody is interested in this LP anymore, after I killed Drizzt.

You mean, after You didn't die while killing him. I'm aware that people might think that the rest of the game would be a breeze, since You achieved that. But don't worry, this update should prove them wrong.

What do you mean?

By the way, You didn't kill Drizzt. He was bitten by a dog.

Fuck you too.

This area doesn't really hold anything of interest for us, but will give us access to those that do.

I don't remember the city part all that well. Does that mean filler?

On the contrary. You'll see.

The journey from Nashkel is long and full of transit area encounters, which have been omitted due to not being interesting.

Now, you're learning.

The Codex' initial stats for this update.

We start by looting some houses.

Sometimes, they even hold something interesting...

Is this one of these fake potions that are actually poisons?

Not at all.

I doubt I will have an opportunity to use it. How many basilisks can there be in the city?

Right.

As always, I will only highlight the houses that have semi-interesting loot, at least.

Dagger +1 qualified as semi-interesting five levels ago. Maybe.

I think I've seen this roof before...

It's the one from the intro. Must be quite the tourist spot now.

Our next stop.

Planning to fight any more Drizzts soon?

This potion does have other uses too, You know.

Considering your potions policy so far, I doubt it really will be used at any point in the future.

Poultry store? What the fuck?

Yes, I'm curious too.

Rabid chickens! And a fucking lot of them! We're fucked!

Quick, fierball!

I don't have it prepared! We still have the 'Drizzt' spell set.

Run away then!

They're not any kind of threat, actually, but entering this place is completely pointless since there's absolutely no loot here.

At the thieves guild, we were supposed to be asked to steal some stuff from this house, but I forgot to talk to the right people. We will steal the stuff anyway.

Well, of course, as this ensures that other people's stuff becomes mine. No-brainer.

We will sneak through this house, as unnecesary talking results in a Flaming Fist invasion and inevitable reputation loss. We find some scrolls on the ground floor.

Even more scrolls on the first floor.

And the quest items in a chest on the top floor. There are three magician sisters here (daughters of Shandalar), who would attack us if The Codex revealed his presence. Not that killing them would be some kind of a problem, but stealth path is quicker and much less troublesome (unlike Alpha Protocol).

To free up The Codex' inventory a bit, we return them immediately. The treacherous mage betrays us!

Treacherous mages tend to do that sometimes.

For some reason, he decides to kill The Codex by bashing him with a staff and we have an opportunity to empirically prove that multi-class warriors are better suited for melee combat than single-class mages.

tl;dr: I own the guy.

Maybe his plan was first to paralyze you with this wand and then kill with the staff?

Must have gotten distracted and forgot the first part then.

No worries, I am already used to completely useless NPCs.

Back to burglary, I mean: city interiors exploration.

What? I don't have time or will to do fedex quests, lady!

On the other hand, I might look for your son in the nearest amulet-buying store. No problem.

While wandering the area, we meet this guy. It seems that The Codex was poisoned while resting!

Why didn't this Marek guy kill me while I slept, if he had access to me and my rations?

I have a vague memory that this quest will involve one hell lot of fetching stuff and running back and forth.

Uh... Maybe?

Whatever, man. Let's go!

Priestess of Umberlee. Great. I fucking hate them bitches.

Sure, I'll do everything. You just sit on your ass and sip wine! Fucker.

Area completed!

Let's take care of this Umberlee business now. Not sure how much time of those ten poison days I have left.

Wow, You were actually paying attention.

I usually do pay attention when people are trying to kill me.

Temple of Umberlee is located in the southern part of the city.

We loot some houses on the way to the temple itself.

Finding a bit of this and a bit of that.

There are also warehouses here - they tend to have more lootable containers than residential houses, and sometimes even with useful stuff inside.

A basilisk. You've got to be fucking kidding me.

What are the odds, huh?

Luckily, we've kept the potion found earlier.

Yes, it's one of those completely unsuspicious coincidences that sometimes just happen. Right.

This basilisk is even tougher than greater basilisks we've met at Durlag's Tower. Not that it matters when the potion is used, though.

HA! That's how you do it, Harry Potter!

Usually, loot dropped by basilisks is random, but this one always drops a sphene gem - it's needed for another quest in the city.

Another warehouse.

You dropped them in one of the shipping crates? How stupid is that? Also, I already am involved in an epic fetch quest, no time to bother myself with additional minor ones.

They're magical Gauntlets of Weapon Skill.

Oh. In that case, I'll definitely find them. Just not bring them back.

A healing potion is found in a nearby barrel.

Why would someone keep one potion in a barrel? It doesn't make any fucking sense!

Team desocupado from IceWind Dale 2 LP was doing some intensive barrel research, if I recall. Maybe they will be able to answer that question at some time.

Two more are found in a nearby crate.

Well, this at least has some amount of fucking sense.

Aaaaarrrrgggghhh!

There sure are a lot of potions in this warehouse.

Well, this 'a lot' you speak of would still fit in one chest. A whole warehouse to store them is one fuck lot of an overkill.

We're temporarily out of warehouses, so back to breaking into exploring private houses.

We meet a dying sirine inside.

I could grant a last wish to the poor thing, if she asks for the right one...

She doesn't seem to be interested in anything You have to offer.

Her loss.

Sirine dies and we take her pearl as a loot. Choosing the other dialogue option makes her hostile, which means we would have to kill her before taking her pearl (it's better XP-wise, though).

Yet another house to loot.

With an antidote avaialable for us to take.

Whoa, that guy here is a really ugly bastard.

Oh yeah, he's cursed.

No, thanks. I remember doing some skull-carrying for Thalantyr and this business nets no rewards at all.

A quick trip to Thieves' guild to leave some spare equipment there.

Why is this screenshot here?

So people later don't ask me why I haven't used stuff like wand of paralyzation in the upcoming fights.

What fights?

You should like this part here, this ship is kind of a public house, or rather a 'meeting place' for...

That is very interesting, but, you haven't answered my question.

The only interesting thing on the first level here is this guy and his chest full of loot. Unfortunately he calls Flaming Fist if we try to take the contents, so I decide to skip it.

What fights!?

We meet this woman on the second floor.

What f... Well, hello there, gorgeous! I'm definitely interested in the 'pleasure' part.

Uh.... I'm not sure we are speaking of the same thing here.

Nope, we're definitely not.

Heads up, she's not alone!

How is it all chicks I meet want to kill me after a few seconds of conversation!?

Yes, that is absolutely, totally inconceivable.

I'm gonna... FUCK DAMMIT! I NEEDED THAT LUNG!

There goes our chance for blinding her, and the majority of The Codex' HP.

Where the fuck am I? Who are you people? Why am I bleeding? The fuck is going on...?

Confusion. Not good.

THAT HURTS, BITCH! THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

I think our hero is not going to survive this, noble audience. Everybody sensitive to death scenes might want to skip the next screenshot.

Death count: 100

Reloading.

You know, I could really use that wand of paralyze right now.

Well, yes, probably. But look on the bright side: it was your 100th death, we should celebrate!

You know, I think I've been too polite to you lately. You're an asshole and deserve only my hatred and contempt. And them you shall get.

'Always look on the bright side of death...', *whistle *whistle*.

Are you listening to me?

'...just before you draw your terminal breath...', :violin: .

You will fucking die by my hand someday!

I forgot to switch the spell set after we fought Drizzt, so we have rather limited spellcasting capabilities right now (no Mirror Image or Hold Person, for example).

Yeah, I will also 'forget' to stop stabbing you at some point in the future. You can count on that.

Blindneueueueuueuhueheuh... Mah throouut...!

Again, The Codex gets hit while trying to blind Desreta.

The rest of the fight also follows a similar course.

Death count: 101

Loading game.

Idea: we blind her before the dialogue, so I DON'T FUCKING DIE WHILE STANDING STILL AND CASTING THE FUCKING SPELL!

Ok, ok.

We shall see how well you fight in the dark, my pretty!

Save vs spell. Hm, this might be tougher than I thought.

Luckily, Algernon's Cloak works flawlessly and Desreta gets charmed.

Shit!

What? Why are You angry?

This charm effect is way too brief. I won't be able to have sex with her before it wears off!

I'm glad you don't have any more immediate problems...

Oh, right, the other bitch is still there.

We send Desreta near Vay-ya, so she gets killed by her friend's spells.

Also, every spell cast on her will not be cast on me, which is a massive on its own.

Meanwhile, The Codex hides in shadows and will try to assume some tactically sound spot.

Desreta gets frightened by a spell and leaves this level through the stairs. We move into backstabbing position.

She won't even know what killed her.

Unfortunately, backstabbing fails. The Codex starts to hack at Vay-ya with a sword instead.

It only works well up to a point. Lightning Bolt is enough to change our hero into a dead, cold body.

Death count: 102

Load game.

Well, this sucks. I'm no match for either of them. You must have levelled me up wrong!

It's Baldur's Gate. Levelling up consists of pressing one button.

This only shows how stupid you are, to have been pressing it the wrong way all the time!

Desreta resists Blind again.

She also doesn't fall under our charm this time. Why exactly does using Algernon's Cloak count as a 'breath weapon' - no idea.

Getting desperate, we try to spray her into oblivion unconsciousness. It doesn't work too.

Why does she resist all the fucking spells!?

Situation develops into this.

Death count: 103

Reloading the game.

I would easily win this having mirror image prepared, and you know it.

Maybe...?

I only regret I will only be able to kill you once after all this.

Speeding up: Blind fails next time, as always, but Charm works.

Yes!

The Codex hides and follows (visible) Desreta to her girlfriend, who turned herself invisible in the meantime.

I'm the puppet master, baby!

This time we unleash Desreta on her (ex-)partner, so we have some use of the successful charm.

Get her, girl!

The fight rages on, while The Codex sneaks behind Vay-ya's back.

That's a really nice shaped back, I must admit. Pity.

Backstab, BITCH!

Vay-ya is overwhelmed by our superior numbers. The finishing cut comes from Desreta.

This charm thing works completely contrary to its description in the spellbook. She shouldn't be all that devoted to my side as to kill her friend. Not that I'm complaining.

We loot Vay-ya's corpse.

Wand of fire.

We still have to do something about Desreta. That Charm won't last forever.

We could ask her to give up her sword, or something equally reasonable.

Sorry, no way of doing anything like that.

Of course. What other options do we have?

Exploiting the game?

Fine by me.

Alright then, it's time for EXTREME CHEESE tactics. First, we initiate hostilities by casting Magic Missile on Desreta.

After that, we run away and cast spells/shoot her with arrows when possible.

We've done that before. How is that 'ultimate cheese'?

We're going to be running around a counter table.

Oh.

Pathfinding in this game is really bad and can lead to a lot of frustration when You have to deal with six characters, who should be at specific places of the battlefield at a specific time.

It's not half as bad when You only have one character to control, and fast enough CPU, so there's no lag between clicking and movement.

It can also be epically exploited at times like this.

Although, it might get a little tedious...

A LITTLE!?

FUCK YES!

Finally!

Ok, I'm sure I now know why Desreta packed that much of a punch. These are Gauntlets of Ogre Power.

Nice!

There's also this guy here, on the lower level. He's part of a quest, which we will most definitely not do.

Let's quickly forget about him then.

Gauntlents of Weapon Skill we were asked to find are in one of the chests here.

Well, we've found them. Quest completed!

Ah, yes, reapers our quest. We're actually in the right spot. We're supposed to talk to a priestess inside this temple.

Have I mentioned I hate those bitches, Umberleeans?

You might have, yes.

Yeah, I humbly ask, and I don't do that often, so you better listen and do what you're told, bitch!

Alright, alright, I'll bring you the fucking book of fucking wisdom. But you better have the cure ready when I'm back!

That went surprisingly well. Getting that book should be no problem, if memory serves me well.

Goddammit, I fucking hate fetch quests!

---------------------------------

For continuation, check out update #26B in my next post.

 

[MicoSelva]

Update #26B: EXTREME CHEESE, part II

Update #26B

Back to exploring houses.

WTF? Ogre mages?

Uh... I did not expect that too, to be honest.

Why are two ogre mages in a random house in the city? Are they having some gay ogre mage rendez-vous that will spawn ogrillons or some other abomination?

At least, they're not teleporting dogs.

It's hard to say if that makes more or less sense.

We shoot one of them with an arrow of biting, and he (she?) gets poisoned. In the meantime the other one casts Improved Invisibility and disappears.

You do realize you just repeated information everyone could read from the screenshot, right?

What.

It's an ambush.

An 'amush'?

Seems like it.

They ambushed me in a random house in the docks? Really? What was their plan, exactly? 'Oh, we'll just stay in this house here and wait for him to stumble upon us, against all odds and common sense. And when he does, we'll kill him and be rich, nyah, nyah, nyah.'

Well... it worked, didn't it?

Balls! How many of them are here!?

Three at least, it seems.

OW! FUCK THIS SHIT!

Make that five. Fuck.

Wait... Why did I come here, anyway...? Who are all these ugly people...?

I don't think we're going to make it.

We didn't make it.

Death count: 104

Load game.

I think I should go in there as prebuffed as possible. What's your take on that?

Normally I would've agreed, but...

The only buff we've got left is Resist Fear. I don't think it will help much.

Well, fuck.

We enter the house again anyway, since we're not easily discouraged by a little challenge and resting at an inn would require area transit, which is too bothersome.

In other words: you're too lazy to remember about coming back here later and are willing to sacrifice my life a few more times instead.

More or less, yeah.

I fucking hate your guts.

Oh, look, Resist Fear actually helped us. Awesome.

I will refrain from a snarky comment only because I would actually die if not for the spell. And, surprise, I don't like dying.

FUCK! DAMMIT! SHIT! You'll eat your own fucking tongue for that, ogre!

We're at a major disadvantage here, so it's time to employ more EXTREME CHEESE tactics.

We leave the building, heal and cast Haste. Tutu actually employs BG2-like system of enemies following you into another area, but it works like shit. Ogres stay inside.

Wait a minute, 'Haste'? Didn't you just say I could only buff myself with resist fear?

Did I? I don't recall. Let's go back.

The Codex enters again, hidden in shadows and backstabs one of the ogres.

Wait. Wheredidalltheothersgo?

It seems the others were invisible, waiting for a stupid move on our part.

Death count: 105

Loading...

Did we just... got outsmarted by ogres?

Uhm... yeah.

Ogres controlled by this game's AI.

Let's not depress ourselves further, ok?

This may seem as repeating the same mistake, but I actually had a plan following this backstab. Unfortunately, it ends up as a critical miss.

Fuckingfuck!

We hide in one of the side rooms and hit back with a charge from wand of fear, but one of the ogres casts Confusion...

Whoa. Whattheshit? Thisfloorisawesome.

In theory, we can still survive this...

We're followed by two ogre mages, one panicked. The other casts Melf's Acid Arrow on our hero.

Myskinburns. Whydoesmyskinburn?

Somehow, Confusion ends while our hero is still alive. The ogre who cast acid arrow doesn't follow us into this room.

Fuck. That was one stressing experience there!

After some healing, we go back to deal with the ogre. Now that he's alone...

And not immune to arrows....

Boom! Headshot!

After some more healing, it's time to clean up this mess of a building.

Backstab, shithead!

Two more ogre mages appear. EXTREME CHEESE inbound.

We get hit by another acid arrow, move to a side room, drink a healing potion and hide in shadows.

I AM INVISIBLE, MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Another ogre joins us in the small room, so we head out to scout for lone targets of opportunity.

This one here summoned himself some intellectually superior company.

You mean gnolls?

I mean dogs.

Another healing potion is used (these acid arrows are really annoying) and we find a single stray ogre mage in the southern part of the building.

Say your prayers, ugly!

He (she?) dies, but The Codex almost shares the same fate, with only a few HP left.

That was way too close.

We use up our stock of healing potions. The dog-headed discussion club is unsummoned in the meantime.

Sneak attack, motherfucker!

The ogre gets poisoned which equals death for him (her?), as it will fuck up his (her?) spellcasting.

Will you stop that his/her nonsense already!? Obviously, they're all male.

I wouldn't be so...

Shut up! I don't want to even consider the possibility of any of them being female! Understood!?

Ok, as You wish.

Three down, two to go.

I love this dagger! Although not as much as to have sex with it...

Thanks for clearing that up for us.

Fighting them both at the same time would be unfavourable for us. We should find a way to separate them.

Is one of them buttfucking the other against a wall...? Or whatever, I don't really want to know.

A shot from the wand of fear is enough to separate the lovers.

Fear was enough to overcome love... That is fucking deep.

Right.

Three arrows later, there's one less ogre mage in the world.

Fuck yeah, bow!

Dealing with the last one is formality, especially in the light of him getting poisoned after a backstab.

Now I will watch you slowly die, shitty ogre. Nothing personal, except that I fucking hate you.

Wow, You really do follow on Your threats sometimes.

Oh, yes. I do.

The downside is none of the ogre mages dropped anything interesting. There's also nothing of the sort on the second floor. Loot-wise, this building is a major letdown.

We briefly retreat to a shop to identify items. These are our new gauntlets. They only provide +1 THAC0 (instead of +2 from Bracers of Archery), but work on all weapons, not just missile ones.

These are the gauntlets we looted from Desreta's corpse - they are the main reason she was easily able to kick The Codex' ass in melee. We could keep them instead of Gauntlets of Weapon Skill, but I'm thinking ahead here. In the long run, The Codex won't need ogre power as his own will be superior.

I like it when you admit I am awesome. You should do that more often.

Also, we rest.

You have remembered to adjust the spellbook, so I can cast useful spells again?

Uhhm. Well. You see... There were distractions, and...

That's it. You are fucking dead. You don't realize it just yet, but you're a walking corpse. Enjoy your borrowed time.

Whoa! Wait. Surely, we're not going in there?

Of course we are. It counts as an interior, doesn't it?

Well, fuck this. I certainly don't count it as an interior! And you can bet I am not going in there without an optimal spell set. Is that clear?

Crystal clear.

What the fuck did I just say!

No idea, haven't been listening really. Heads up, a hostile guard.

We actually tried reasoning with this guard, but to no avail.

Sucks to be him. Now, let's leave before...

Why are we going up!?

What, are You scared?

Fuck off! I'm leaving!

No, you're not.

GODDAMMIT!

Another unreasonable guard has to part with his life. Such is the fate of the stupid.

Ok, let's stop for a moment here. Obviously, you're going to force me to enter the top floor.

Yup.

And I can't do anything about it, because LP rules, which I agreed upon, oblige me to explore interiors and this tower counts as one.

True.

Fuck. Alright, let's do it!

We may be reckless getting here already, but we're not suicidial. The Codex enters the top floor hidden.

Fuck. Three enemies already.

Four. The fat lady turns into a doppelganger after a dialogue.

Just fucking great. How many more are there in the fog of war.

Not sure. Two? Three? Four at most.

I'm so screwed.

This is going to be our safe spot, allowing us to cast all the spells we want while not threatened.

We start with a simple combination: Resists Fear + Mirror Image + Haste.

Hey, we actually do have mirror image prepared? This is starting to look promising.

There's a slim chance we will be able to take them on all at once. We are going to take it.

DefeatTheWholeGroupAtOnce? FatChance.

No, slim. I just said there's a slim chance.

It'sTheSameFuckingThing.

Fat is slim? It doesn't make any sense at all...

CanWeGetBackToMeDying?

Oh, right.

We start by backstabbing Aasim, hoping it will give us at least a small advantage at the beginning.

They're not in the mood for diplomacy, it seems.

I'llEatMyOwnShoesIfWeAreEverAbleToResolveAPlotPointEncounterWithDiplomacyInThisGame.

Of course, we're not deluding ourselves to be able to resolve this combat without ULTIMATE CHEESE. The first opprotunity, we go down the stairs and renew The Codex' stealth.

And we're back up, with a vengeance.

OneDown! HELLYEAH!

38 backstab damage - nice.

Unfortunately, second attempt to withdraw to a lower level ends up like this.

WhereAreTheStairs? ISwearTheyWereSupposedToBeHereSomewhere.

A predictable outcome.

Death count: 106

Reloading.

I don't think I can defeat them all at once.

Yeah.

Second attempt. Instead of running into the storm, we now operate at the edge of visibility.

I am outside of their sight range while standing inside the same, average sized room. Suck it, realism!

First, we send a charge of wand of fear into the middle of the room. Second, we start shooting Aasim. His AC must be really crappy, as all arrows hit the target (interrupting his spellcasting three times) and he soon dies.

Yes!

Panicked Diyab also bites the floor a few moments later.

Doing good! Two down!

Five to go...

For some reason I got a bit cocky here and decided to backstab Alai. Not sure what I was thinking.

TheUsualProbably. NothingAtAll.

Backstab ends with a critical miss...

ThisIsDoomedToFail.

We try to poison doppleganger with an arrow of biting, but another critical miss ensues...

CanWeReloadAlready?

Somehow, we manage to get to the stairs, go down, hide and get back up.

ThatMustBeANewHighForTheNumberOfThingsThatHappenedBetweenScreenshots.

We backstab Gardush, but he survives.

And we follow with another hit from the wand of fear. It's half-successful.

IdRatherSayItHalfFails.

Naaman gets hit with an arrow of biting, but resists poison.

Shit!

It's the same thing with Alai.

Fuck!

Doppleganger starts raping The Codex in melee, while both mages cast some inevitably deadly spells.

ThatsItIGuess. GoodEffortThough.

We will get them next time.

Death count: 107

Reloading.

We will get them next time.

I just said th... Oh, you were dead. Sorry.

Well, ok, I have to admit I don't remember what happened between this screenshot and the next one. Here, we see The Unwounded Codex firing fear into the middle of the room...

...and here, we see The Wounded Codex (and on fire too!) shooting arrows of biting at Naaman from the other side of the room. Also: another charge of wand of fire has been used in the meantime. Weird stuff.

'Weird'? You obviously got too excited and forgot to make screenshots, dumbfuck. Probably had to change your underwear too.

The good news is, Naaman dies.

Fuck yeah!

The approach of 'poison him with an arrow of biting and then kill him off with the normal ones' works well on Alai too.

Nice. We've defeated four already! Only two left. And the doped gangbanger.

We start by backstabbing Gardush, but the damage is rather poor, and poison doesn't kick in.

These guys hit hard, so we cast Mirror Image to increase our survival chance.

And we haven't done this earlier, because...?

A quick trip downstairs for more buffing (Haste + Resist Fear).

Again, some vital screenshots missing here. The Codex went up, hit them with the last charge of the wand of fear, scaring Zhalimar (the archer), but himself got hit by some sharp steel and/or claws. We retreat downstairs and hide in shadows.

YouKnowHittingThatPrntScrnKeyMoreOftenWouldHaveSavedYouALotOfPointlessWriting.

You don't say.

Back up, ready to backstab Gardush. Doppleganger is also here, but Zhalimar must have ran out of the room.

We backstab Gardush for mediocre damage and I notice that Haste has worn off in the meantime.

Refreshing the spell.

Great fucking conditions for that.

The Codex gets hurt a bit more, but shoot'n'run allows us to eliminate the doppleganger.

FinallySomeProgress!

Seven ice arrows later, Gardush finally croaks.

TheseGuysHaveWayTooManyHP!

Oh, for fuck's sake! No!
Zhalimar came back at the worst possible moment and hit The Codex with a single arrow, which was enough. And it was going so well!

Death count: 108

Reloading.

When was the last time we saved the game?

If you're asking if I managed to save after killing Gardush, then: no.

I decide to kill off Zhalimar first this time.

34! Nice!

Back downstairs to hide in shadows.

And back up again.

28!

Aaaaand back down to hide again.

WellThisIsBoring.

Yeah, EXTREME CHEESE tends to be like that.

Back up for third backstab.

TheFuckerIsStillAlive? HowIsThatPossible? IMustHaveHitHimForLike100HPAlready!

96 actually.

Uh, lucky hit on their part.

Death count: 109

Loading.

Have I mentioned these guys have way too much HP?

Yes, You have.

Well, they do!

I decide to kill Zhalimar with bow & arrows this time. Not sure why.

Yeah, that is stupid. He's got a crapload of HP, compared to my effective 25, and our bows deal similar damage.

Let's hope Your -8 AC will suffice to win.

It's not that easy, of course, as doppleganger joins the action. We try to blind him - to no effect. One hit is enough for The Codex to lose 1/3 of HP.

FUCK! Not good.

Back down to get the available buffs without hostile interference.

We return to action with a rather pathetic backstabbing effort. I was hoping for the doppleganger to die.

OneSwordSwingIsEnoughToCorrectThat!

Thank God for Mirror Image.

The archery duel between The Codex and Zhalimar. The enemy actually does have one hell lot of HP, but his to-hit chance is far from impressive.

And it's a good thing, since when he actually manages to hit The Codex, he deals 22 damage. Luckily, right after that, he decides to try his chances in melee instead. A few more arrows to the face make sure he never gets close enough.

Fuck yeah, bow! You're the king of the world!

Time to excerise EXTREME CHEESE against Gardush. First: Haste.

Time for a lot of running around and shooting back, Desreta-like.

A few Magic Missiles for added flavour.

No more of that culinary nonsense!

Just an expression.

Haste has worn off, so we go downstairs and hide.

SNEAK ATTACK!

And Gardush is poisoned. Nice. I sense an impending end of this combat.

Oh, yes!

Saving the game!

We start looting the bodies. Here's a scroll of protection from arrows (missiles?). I don't think we had this spell before.

If you mean the pink forcefield thing, I'm not casting it. Too faggy.

A wand of lightning. I wonder which type.

Wand of heavens would be a great loot, if it was usable for us, but it's not.

Exploding potions - never too much of these.

And finally, an interesting-looking halberd.

We also find some plot-relevant scrolls (and some spell scrolls) in the containers here.

That's a fucking lot of stuff we've found. How do we take it all with us?

We don't. We'll grab the most useful/most expensive items and pack the rest into a chest here to get back for it later. We just have to remember to do it before heading to Candlekeep, because this area gets reset after that, I think.

Yeah, sure. Going there is the first thing I'll do after leaving this area. Except, I'm lying.

Area completed!
----------------------

Next time: we kill and steal to get some books not written by David Gaider.

Heresy!

 

[Yeesh]

 

[Azira]

That's beautiful Yeesh. It really is. :manlytear:

And MicoSelva, on the update!

 

[Crooked Bee]

Great fun, MS, keep it up!

 

[Malakal]

The city of Boring Gate is rather big isnt it? How many areas total are there? Is it bigger than Athkatla?

 

[Crooked Bee]

What I find really great is the way MS's LP is highly entertaining despite the seemingly boring stuff going on.

It's not really boring in fact imo. Hence the "seemingly".

 

[MicoSelva]

Thanks, Yeesh!

 

[relootz]

 

[taplonaplo]

Mmmmmm cheeese, me likes. May the Codex suffer hunderds of more deaths before finishing his adventures.

 

[eklektyk]

As alwaye Highly entertaining.

 

[MicoSelva]

Just so I don't accused of requiring begging, praying and human sacrifice again: next update will probably appear tomorrow or on Thursday.

 

[Orgasm]

on Thursday.

Is that ITS-speak?

 

[MicoSelva]

Update #27: We Kill Some Mages (Mostly)

Update #27

Before we continue The Codex' city life, it's time for some loot selling and such.
First: the wand of lightning we found is the meh version (single 6D6 bolt).

Second:

I briefly consider making this halberd our new backstab weapon, but in the end decide to stick to Dagger of Venom.

Wait. Backstabbing with a halberd?

Yeah. It's a piercing weapon, isn't it?

Yes, but it doesn't make any... Ah, forget it.

We get some rest (and rearrange the spell list a bit).

Since we need to get the book for the Umberlee priestess to get the geas remove scroll to save Lothander to get the cure for The Codex...

That's exactly why I hate fetch quests. This and running back and forth.

...the temple of wisdom, located in the western part of the city, is our next target.

That's a nice looking neighbourhood.

Except for that fat bitch over there. She's spoiling the view for me.

The greater basilisk from the warehouse was indeed stronger than the ones before. Worth 7000 XP, it's now our top kill. The Codex has also exceeded 1200 kils overall. With more than 245 000 total kill XP that means an average of about 200 XP per kill.

There is some nice (read: expensive) stuff in the Hall of Wonders. Some of it can even be stolen, if You come here at night - there's also a quest to get a telescope for some gnome, or something like that. We're going to completely ignore this place, except for the screenshot above.

'Steam dragon'. That sounds pretty badass.

We enter Ragefast's house next.

Wait, the guy's name is 'Ragefast', as in 'rage' and 'fast'?

Yes.

Did his parents name him that or is the name self-given?

I don't know. What's the difference?

The differnce is whether I can laugh at him only for his name, or also for being so stupid to name himself that way.

Bold words for someone named 'The Codex'.

I completely fail to see your point here.

Right. Will You enter the house already?

Uh, sorry Fastrage, you're not my type, and I mean by a lot.

I think he's talking to the nymph over there.

Right. The nymph. Of course. I knew that.

Cocky, aren't we?

A lone mage = unleashing The Kysus Barrage.

And he's down.

What, already? I am disappoint. Some 'Ragefast'. He should be named 'Diefast' instead.

At least the loot is nice. You can never have too much wands of paralyzation.

Disappointment again. What's the point of rescuing distressed damsels if they don't seek company of a man afterwards?

At least we got a cloak made from her hair.

Or rather just some hair.

What a ripoff!

We meet a boy in need of help.

I'm kind of busy right now, but if you pay immediately, I will see what I can do later.

Fuck off then!

Uh, we probably should have helped him.

I'm not convinced. He smelled like a fetch quest to me.

Is this the kind of a lady I might like?

Actually, this is the temple of wisdom we were looking for.

That is one fucking misleading name.

Maybe I should pay them?

They won't sell it, trust me.

Uh, okay. Pretty please, then?

What the fuck do you mean 'anyone' you fucking priest faggot!? I am The Codex! I am a fucking hero! Twenty reputation, see!? How do you think I got it!?

So, what now?

I'll just fucking steal it.

HA! Fuck you!

That's not the book.

You know, all this wouldn't be necessary if You agreed to help that boy. The priest would gladly give us the book then.

Would that require fetching or running back and forth between areas?

Well, maybe, a little of both.

I prefer my way then.

GODDAMMIT!

We reload - the LP rules allow us another attempt.

Yes!

I hope this time it's what we wanted.

Success!

Wait, what? 'Manual of bodily health'? What the fuck?

What do you mean?

Wasn't it supposed to be a book of wisdom? This is a temple of wisdom after all.

Well, You see what it is. The priest doesn't have any other books. You may check if You want.

I don't get it. I'm sure it should be a book of wisdom. It doesn't make any fucking sense!

*cough*bookswap*cough*

What? What was that?

I didn't say anything.

Right. I'm keeping my eye on you.

Area completed!

We go back to Queen Bitch's temple.

The scroll first, bitch!

Wait, if her goddess is 'queen bitch', she won't take offense to calling her 'bitch' too, will she?

Probably not.

The scroll first, whore!

Right, you wanted the book of wisdom. All the faggy priest had was a manual of bodily health. Sorry?

She does not take it well.

That's why I hate Umberleeans! They're just not reasonable!

HOLY SHIT! I'M ON FIRE!

Jalantha Mystmyr does not fuck around, hitting the Codex with a pillar of fire, which immediately takes 80% of his HP.

And the rest seconds later.

Death count: 110

Reloading.

Fucking Umberleean whore. I want her dead.

That shall be arranged.

This time we prepare a bit, casting Life Saver 2000 before entering.

Also, mirror image.

Yes, I actually meant... Ah, fucktiwhatever.

The Codex still gets burned up, but the spell does save his life and allows us to kill Jalantha.

Don't forget to give regards to your goddess!

Oddly, other priestesses don't mind us killing their superior. Klingon promotion, anyone?

The dead body is...

I'm sure there are perfectly good reasons for a middle-aged priestess to be carrying a dead body of an adolescent boy. The less I know about it, the better.

A quick look at our journal reveals that Lothander is waiting for us at an inn placed in yet unexplored part of the city. That's where we'll be heading now.

Fucking fetch quests.

We are spawned suspiciously close to the aforementioned inn.

What!? The OTHER HALF!? You mean it's not over yet!?

Yeah, sorry.

So, where exactly is that Blushing Mermaid? Have we already passed it, or does that mean more pointless running around the city?

Uh, the latter, I'm afraid.

Since we won't be needing the book anymore, The Codex uses it to raise his Constitution.

17 CON means +3 HP/level, which translates to 7 additional hit points at The Codex' current level. The math behind that...

Shut up. Now.

Time for some good old house robbin'.

The game seems rather generous with giving us basic magical items for free at this point.

Do we even have some way of spending the money we get from selling all this stuff?

I'll think of something.

We loot this place next.

We have a stock of these already, but having one more won't hurt.

Most buildings in the city have entrances on the visible sides, but some, like on this warehouse, can only be found by mouse-hovering over supposed door placement.

Yeah, sure, I did a good job too, whatever it was.

Actually, the quest was killing the basilisk from last update. Our reward is 1300 XP, 500 gold and some item I forgot to screenshot.

Next house.

Burglars! And it used to be such a safe city!

Before we came here, You mean?

They buy our bluff. We would get better reward for killing them, but I doubt it would be worth the added trouble.

Also, I don't think stealing from other people's houses warrants a death penalty. Call it a professional bias, if you want.

That's because You never had a house of Your own.

I'm not fond of long-term obligations.

Area completed!

Good going so far today. If we keep this up, we might be able to finish exploring the city in this update.

Blushing Mermaid is located in the northeastern part of the city. Getting there is non-trivial, though. We need to access that part from one of other northmost areas, or we end up in the smaller part where we've earlier met Marek and Lothander.

This fucking quest in one hell of a drag.

Almost immediately, we meet this guy.

Sure, but as for the nymph...

He's gone.

What an impatient guy. I better follow him and clear up the misunderstanding.

That is one tall tower. I bet it was built by the same guy that made the uber-long bridge to the city. Clearly, there were some body part size issues involved.

Now just wait a minute there. You left before I was able to...

It was a lightning bolt, if someone's curious.

Death count: 111

Loading game.

You know what? Killing me, I could forgive. But it was the second time that guy did not let me finish my sentence. For that, he dies.

This time we prepare for the inevitable conversation outcome.

Ramazith casts Lightning Bolt and immediately moves upstairs.

Let's follow him.

Yes, let's, but hidden in shadows. Just in case.

What the fuck is this!?

Each level of the tower has some enemies. Their number increases with each level, but relative strength decreases. First floor has two mustard jellies (I think).

The second one four ghasts (or were they ghouls?).

Whatever.

Third one: six hobgoblin elites.

And the fourth one: six (or more - there's some fog of war here) kobold comandos.

Finally, we're at the top. Only Ramazith is here.

The Codex is unable to place himself behind Ramazith to backstab him, but we we get a lucky critical hit, which works almost as well. Also: poison kicks in.

Try to interrupt my sentence now! I dare you!

Ramazith falls a few seconds later.

Oh, and it was all a misunderstanding! Fucker.

Ramazith drops some really nice loot.

So, it all turned out all right in the end.

Amulet of Metaspell Influence means potentially one additional Mirror Image per day, so it will replace our current one.

We find this too.

Let me corect myself: it all turned out VERY GOOD in the end.

There are also some scrolls of protection and a wand of paralyzation here.

Now to think of it, I might have decided to come and kill him regardless of other circumstances. Good thing I had some justification sound reasons for that.

Stealth ensues our safe return to the ground floor.

Identyfying our loot. We've found these boots somewhere somehow. They will be sold.

Since the metaspell amulet means we won't be able to use amulet of protection anymore, we will now start using this ring (also dropped by Ramazith). It will replace ring of animal influence.

Which I most certainly will not miss.

And last but not least - the statboost book found in Ramazith's tower.

Intelligence. And there I thought it would be strength.

Book of strength in a wizards tower? That wouldn't make much sense.

Yeah, exactly like a book of CONSTITUTION in a temple of WISDOM. Right?

This conversation is a pointless waste of time. let's move on.

Move on to reading the Tome of Intelligence, of course.

Superhuman intelligence of 19 gives The Codex 95% chance of learning a spell and no limit for amount of spells per level in his spellbook.

Better than crack!

Back to exploring the city. Here's one of the numerous inns.

Three Old Kegs. Where have I heard this name before?

Oh it's the inn the carry-me-skull guy was talking about.

I think solving this quest also might have convinced the priest in the Temple of Wisdom to help us.

No sense in thinking about it now.

Entering another random house.

Potion of... defense, I think?

Yet another random house.

Booooring!

We are intercepted by this unusual fellow, supposedly dressed in silly colors (?).

You should be seeing it from my perspective. Precious.

Better than You in ankheg armour?

Go outside and freeze to death, willya?

That sounds ominous.

Oh, yeah. Terrifying. I haven't been this scared since last combat with kobolds.

Drelik immediately mirrorimages himself.

Fucking copycat! Now you die!

We try The Kysus Barrage on him, but it ends with a bunch of 'magic resistance' messages.

What the fuck...?

He manages to cast a rather deadly Magic Missile on our hero.

It's like fighting Borda all over again!

Yeah, I'm getting some Borda similarities myself right now.

Death count: 112

Load game.

I smell a non-trivial encounter.

Yeah, that magic resistance will bite us in the ass. We should prepare.

Back to the inn, to get some rest.

We engage Mirror Image this time to even out the odds.

They would be evened out if I had magic resistance too.

You do have magic resistance. Whole 5% of it.

Weren't you supposed to thrust a rusty nail into your eye or something?

Drelik has one more mirror image than The Codex, so must be a higher level mage. We decide to burn up his clones with Magic Missile.

He does the same thing, and more efficiently.

This guy is starting to annoy me!

But we have Amulet of Metaspell Influence now, meaning another Mirror Image available.

Ha! Whatcha gonna do now, wimp?

My poor reflexes don't allow me to notice that casting this Magic Missile is pointless, as Drelik's last mirror image was destroyed by one of The Codex' arrows.

I hope I won't die because of your fucking stupid mistake!

Uh, yeah, I hope so too.

Death count: 113

Loading game.

Try to pay more attention, willya?

Ok. Sorry.

This time we cast Mirror Image and Haste before entering the house.

We should have done that from the start.

From the start we cast Magic Missile twice to destroy his mirror images.

His retaliation forces us to withdraw outside.

We go back after refreshing Mirror Image and hiding in shadows.

How does it work exactly? Are my mirror images also hidden in shadows, or are they visible, or what?

I'll tell You how it works: it works fine.

The backstab effort is disappointing - rather pathetic damage and no poison.

The Codex moves a few steps and stars to spike Drelik with arrows, hoping it will be enough to disrupt the enemy's spellcasting.

But since Magic Missile is cast almost instantly, it doesn't work very well.

Death count: 114

Loading.

I don't think I will be able to stop him from casting magic missile without haste spell.

You may be right.

Another try. The priority, as always, is getting rid of his Mirror Image.

Next, deal as much damage as possible while our own Mirror Image is still active.

When images are gone, we leave and come back refreshed and hidden (of course, backstab works even worse than before).

A deadly duel ensues. We are at a disadvantage, but manage to nullify that by casting Mirror Image for the third time.

Haste allows us to disrupt his spellcasting this time and he finally dies, after taking a total of 8 arrows to the face.

HellYes! DieFucker!

The loot he drops is far from impressive.

We head upstairs.

You were really attached to that buttler, weren't you? I mean really.

Are You implying something?

Between this and colors that Drelik guy wore, I think everything is implying by itself.

Jardak is a heavy melee fighter (aka tank), so we try to blind him.

But it seems he's as magic resistant as his servant was. Not good.

OH FUCK! My head!

We run away retreat downstairs to heal a bit, and head back hidden in shadows.

These backstabs sure ain't what they used to be.

And these guys resist poison all the time. I smell cheating.

Another tactical trip down the stairs.

Good thing he's too stupid to follow.

13 damage only?

What is wrong with this dagger today!?

And we never reach the stairs...

Death count: 115

Loading last save.

Should have gone with that backstabbing halberd after all.

16 damage this time. Uh ?

OW! SHIT!

Jardak has his way of telling us that coming back up was a stupid idea.

We manage to get downstairs and return for another run. Damage is back to reasonable levels.

The following attempt is a total failure at backstab overall, but at least we score a hit in.

Next time we will be glad at even swinging the dagger in the correct general direction.

With your l33t dagger skillz, we'll take what we get.

Next backstab is again pathetic damage-wise, but at least this time poison manages to work. And I've already given up hope of that happening.

But another one is an epic fail.

Not good!

Indeed, could've been better.

Death count: 116

Loading.

I have nothing to say. Except maybe that your 'no run-throughs' rule, forcing us to explore everyting, sucks ass.

I agree.

Next attempt is much better in damage department.

But has a very similar result.

Death count: 117

Reloading.

Some healing potions, maybe? So I can survive one hit at least?

He's on the verge of dying, I'm sure!

You're on the verge of dying too, you realize that?

I don't get it. What is with the sucky backstab damage against this guy? Does he have some sort of damage reduction?

Fortunately, next attempt is the last one.

Fucking finally.

As opposed to his servant, Jardak does drop something useful.

Wow, that's a rather awesome helmet!

Indeed. Pity we found it so late and won't be able to use it for long. We should be getting Helm of Balduran in next update.

So, this whole fight was... pointless?

Well, yeah.

Area completed!

Do you mean that house was the last one?

Last significant one. Yes.

And we could have finished exploring this area fifty screenshots ago if not for those two guys?

Pretty much.

---------------------------------

Next time: We find a house that proves to be even more annoying than Jardak's.