note: most of those people come from the Interesting NPCs mod.
I stumble upon a Stormcloak deserter. Says she was taking supplies across a forest when suddenly she saw a woman and a child scampering into the distance. Curious, she followed them until they disappeared into a clearing that contained two tombstones. As she tried to make out the engravings on the tombs, she heard a loud thumping coming from underground. And run she did. She's been paranoid ever since (which is a bit weird, considering that the existence of undead is common knowledge in this world).
She's being stalked by this feline lady over here. The Aldmeri give her skooma so she will spy on possible Talos worshippers.
:ehue:
I could probably think of better uses for that drug money, elfbros.
This is...pretty sad, really. Fortunately, the village healer is teaching her spells in secrecy. It's only a matter of time before every member of her family tragically die in a mysterious explosion while stacking sacks of hay.
Hey, it's the farmer kid that I helped a while ago. He told me he wanted to quit farming and become a badass mercenary like me, but I didn't think he would really do it.
Sorry, but the quests I undertake aren't for noobs and I don't feel like babysitting.
Look at that, an useful kid that doesn't want to annoy me at all costs. If only there were more like you.
(half an hour later, I entered Markarth right during a public murder. The guards killed the guy, but not before took a few swings at another NPC. While I was healing her, one local kid tumbled over the corpse to tell me that he saw me casting a spell, and if I was a wizard could I please try to make him invisible so he could have some fun? Creep ass little fucker)
Found a dead troll under the bridge.
He had two troll skulls on his corpse. I spent a few seconds pondering the implications of that, then I decided Gamebryo works in mysterious ways and carried on.
I found this boar standing right on the middle of the crossroads. He never attacked, instead turned around to stare at me everytime I walked past him. I eventually got nervous over his atypical behavior and burned him. Then I got lonely
. I raised the body so I could enjoy his company once again.
You don't really know how this "RPG" thing works, do you Mr. Skaggi?
This guy is one of the few Empire-symphatizers in the game that seems to care that I'm an Altmer.
I get out of Markarth for a quest and stumbled upon a house covered in skeevers. They skittered away when I got close, and I entered the house expecting to find something terrible.
Instead, I found a squatter. The former resident is a rotting corpse on the bed, and he's the one responsible for the skeevers and supposedly the awful smell surrounding the area. Squatterbro says I can stay as long as I don't touch the body. He believes the smell keeps most people away.
I pester him for a while.
I feel you, bro.
But seriously, this place is a dump. Why don't you move somewhere else?
...okay, but at least do something about the corpse. It smells like shit in here.
He eventually confesses he has no sense of smell.
dats raciss
Speaking of orcs, I've met a curious mercenary. She was rather rude at first, and I had to remind her of who's the PC and who's the NPC around here.
It's okay, I am used to insults.
Something seems to be bothering her, though.
...y-you want to p-practice with m-me? This is so sudden, senpai...but it's okay as long as it's you...
Wait, you just want to know how a kiss feels like? Hmmm...
Uh...
Let's try another answer, one that is simpler for a barbarian to understand.
You are worst waifu.