Torment Torment: Tides of Numenera Beta Thread [GAME RELEASED, GO TO NEW THREAD]

[Fry]

If you're eager for writing criticism, I'll give an example of what I would consider overwriting.

First couple of screens in the opening:

Spoiler

"The wind buffets and burns your eyes, but you don't need to see the details of the far-away ground to know that you're in serious trouble. You won't survive a fall from this stratospheric height (a part of your frantic mind babbles that technically you probably fell from a thermospheric height)."

Bleh. All the writer needs to get across here is the PC is falling from a great height. "Stratospheric" conveys this very well. Tossing in a parenthetical with another Greek-rooted word is inelegant at best.

Does the fact the PC fell from the thermosphere have some relevance to the story? If not, make that sentence go away.

 

[Infinitron]

Haha, that's supremely nerdy writing. I bet you most Torment backers wouldn't want to see that go.

 

[Fry]

There's nothing wrong with nerd-porn details, but it can be done much better. As delivered there it just feels extraneous.

 

[MRY]

I can't tell you what the writer intended there. Also, I'm, what, like triply biased here: (1) I myself am an over-writer; (2) I'm on the project; and (3) I like the other writers. But I dunno, I think you're wrong in your criticisms.

The parenthetical does three things (holy non-parallel lists, Batman!): (1) it suggests that the PC has scientific knowledge, since he knows the difference betweeen the stratosphere and the thermosphere; (2) it suggests that the PC has a pretty powerful super-ego, since he is criticizing his own vocabulary even in a moment of extreme peril; (3) it's a modestly amusing joke. Note enough to make me laugh or even fully smile, but it made me slightly quirk my lips and sigh out my nose. Because people use "stratospheric" all the time to mean "super duper high" but actually it's not that high relative to what other similarly situated (like thermosphere) describe. In other words, the first usage is not an effort at precision, it's just a colloquialism, and the joke is that it turns out you actually have fallen from an atmospheric height, but the correct layer is themosphere not stratosphere.

(Incidentally, I think there might be a fourth value here which is that it actually tells the player pretty specifically (if he knows the word) the height he's falling from. The thermosphere isn't outer space, for example.)

 

[Infinitron]

There's nothing wrong with nerd-porn details, but it can be done much better. As delivered there it just feels extraneous.

Oh, I'm not talking (just) about scientific detail. I mean the geekiness of it - the narration awkwardly correcting itself.

 

[Maxwell's Demon]

If you're eager for writing criticism, I'll give an example of what I would consider overwriting.

First couple of screens in the opening:

Spoiler

"The wind buffets and burns your eyes, but you don't need to see the details of the far-away ground to know that you're in serious trouble. You won't survive a fall from this stratospheric height (a part of your frantic mind babbles that technically you probably fell from a thermospheric height)."

Bleh. All the writer needs to get across here is the PC is falling from a great height. "Stratospheric" conveys this very well. Tossing in a parenthetical with another Greek-rooted word is inelegant at best.

Does the fact the PC fell from the thermosphere have some relevance to the story? If not, make that sentence go away.

Spoiler

It does have relevance to the story. It indicates the height from which the player fell and thus indicates something about his origin.

 

[undecaf]

They could rephrase it to sound a bit less off with the rest of the text. I took it as an attempt at conveying some sort of drowsy confusion or disorientation at the ridiculous situation where the character wakes up in, but the way it is does seem rather heavy handed, as if invented during the voice acting takes and just thrown there.

 

[Fry]

Spoiler

If we're going to get all technical and try to parse this logically... the thermosphere starts at around 53mi/85km above sea level (yes I looked it up). If the PC woke up high enough to know he fell from that very specific layer of the atmosphere, he'd both suffocate and freeze to death before he hit the ground.

 

[Echo Mirage]

I'm enjoying the writing so far. But there are a few moments of extreme whiplash. As you are pushed into section in which you lose all context.

Spoiler

The Matkina text adventure lost me completely. All of a sudden there was random names and words that didn't mean anything. I just kept picking options and passed it successfully in her eyes. But I have no damn clue what was going on.

Also has anyone found out where to get armour yet?

 

[Neanderthal]

If I were writing that falling scene and wanting to make a little pun i'd hav probably gone for words zenith and nadir, low points and high points literally and figuratively. Then again i'm barely literate.

 

[FeelTheRads]

I kinda like that part. Reminds me of the style of Andrew Plotkin, which btw should've also been on the list of recruits for this game. Some of the writers seemed pretty randomly chose to me anyway, so...

 

[DosBuster]

Since we haven't heard anything about the combat I'm guessing they did a good job?

 

[Drudkh]

Protagonist looks fucking boring compared to Nameless One, do we get a character creator or are we stuck wi Dull McGrey?

Stuck with Obama's son teen mulato

Mad about the black Fin character in the new Star Wars movie as well I can almost always count on seeing this kinda rubbish around here.

 

[Fry]

I'm not going to offer an opinion on combat until I've played more. Only had time for the first crisis this morning.

 

[Israfael]

If the game would have been made in Gene Wolfian universe, it'd be much more appealing, in my opinion, but it guess licensing issues are biting here

 

[Irenaeus III]

Protagonist looks fucking boring compared to Nameless One, do we get a character creator or are we stuck wi Dull McGrey?

Stuck with Obama's son teen mulato

Mad about the black Fin character in the new Star Wars movie as well I can almost always count on seeing this kinda rubbish around here.

The Last Castoff is not rubbish, racist.

 

[Fairfax]

Since we haven't heard anything about the combat I'm guessing they did a good job?

Not enough to say anything so far. The first Crisis is not a fight, you're supposed to avoid the enemies.

 

[DosBuster]

Hey, that's actually pretty cool design-wise, I'm hoping we'll see some really good stuff in the non-combat department.

 

[Roguey]

I am not going to play a character with a sidecut, I'll replace the portrait with

if I have to.

Is it just me or are the quotes that go along with those character portraits not very good ? They seem kind of forced as in trying too hard to sound cool and falling flat...

Better'n that Whedon-esque Dragon Age Inquisition junk.

 

[SniperHF]

Hey, that's actually pretty cool design-wise, I'm hoping we'll see some really good stuff in the non-combat department.

I'm not up to the combat yet in the beta, but from the Alpha the combat was fine.

Tactically it doesn't appear especially deep though this is a very limited impression. The most interesting aspect and obvious selling point is the set-piece interactive Numenera and usage of brought artifacts through scripted events. Those consume your turn-action and require an effort check. Failing these can actually lead to interesting results which are not always bad.

There are also your character's abilities you can use which sometimes require effort as well. I haven't found an ability that's especially game changing or feels like it has a huge impact, but again this is low level stuff.

The general feel of it is very slow and hopefully that pace is increased a bit as release nears. Just general stuff like movement and responsiveness to controls. Also as a tip, it's very easy to accidentally skip your turn because of that slowness. Be very careful with space bar.

 

[Infinitron]

SniperHF Is the space bar used to speed up enemy turns and also skip your turn? They should change that.

 

[Fry]

.The general feel of it is very slow

Seems like a combination of hitchy camera controls and lousy performance.

 

[DosBuster]

Have they said anything on final game length yet?

 

[darthaegis]

Have they said anything on final game length yet?

Fargo said 40-50 hours (for someone who doesn't skim through and reads properly) on the IGN stream.

 

[Neanderthal]

Mad about the black Fin character in the new Star Wars movie as well I can almost always count on seeing this kinda rubbish around here.

Nah kid were quite entertaining, just wanna see a protag as distinctive and interesting visually as Nameless One, don't care what his ethnicity. In fact i'd prefer he be blue, theres been some real good blue skinned protags such as Raziel and Nameless.