I decided to go through the final level in Jedi Academy again on Toxic Avenger: Cancer Sprayed With AIDS mode, aka dark side ending, for that perfekt kompletion.
First it meant killing Rosh though, which immediately provided many lulz.
"Jaden! Let go of your anger!"
"Why? You said yourself the dark side was powerful."
"I was wrong!"
"No. YOU WERE WEAK!" *zap*
In the subsequent fight against Tavion's twilek apprentice, I first retreated a bit to pick up a shield booster and medkits. The dark jedi then decided to jump off into a chasm and die
I was surprised this could happen, because for example you can't throw her down into lava with grip - she always bounces off an invisible wall to prevent that.
Then came Korriban, which was now crawling with both reborn and jedi masters. I was expecting the worst, but actually it turned out much less cancerous than I'd remembered. The trick here is to maximise the in-fighting among the jedi and reborn - while they are fighting, you can easily sneak some blaster headshots from behind and make the mopping up easier for yourself. Taking the jedi head on is an exercise in futility though because of protect + absorb. Protect basically cancels out ANY damage you do (fuck this shit) while absorb cancels lightning and prevents you from throwing them around with grip (fuck this shit^2).
Some differences between enemy placements in light and dark side endings provided more laughs. For example there's a section with some burial chambers carved out in stone. In the first one I run into three jedi masters. "Ah, but there should be three reborn just around the corner," I think to myself, and rush ahead, only to find
three more jedi masters in the next cave. So I took the angry conga line even further to the next room, which is flooded in lava, and burnt them all to a crisp one-by-one with grip.
Another unpleasant surprise awaited me before the end - light side ending has a mob of stormtroopers guarding the entrance to the final tomb. In the dark side ending, all of them are dead, which means even less ammo. Fortunately, I still managed to retain roughly the same ammo counts as last time (200 blaster, bowcaster, flechette).
Tavion was as pathetic as ever, but more lulz came again in the cutscene where Jaden is supposed to cut her down. That's because the flechette I killed her with transferred to the cutscene, so instead of slicing Tavion with a lightsabre, Jaden bashed her over the 'ead with the flechette.
... and then came Kyle.
Kyle is a monster. He's even tougher than Desann, because he's even more of a cheater. Not only does he have shitton of HP, infinite force and way more powerful push/pull that he abuses all the time to throw you around the place, he also has Force Wrestling to smack you in the gob,
and also has faster movement than normal.
I shot all my remaining flechette rounds into him, followed it up with a few rockets (if you're smart, you can still damage him with those before he can push 'em back), and eventually brought him to like 15% hp left. However, you can't just twiddle your thumbs because he can use Heal. And since he can also put up protect/absorb, that basically means IDDQD on top of endless regen if you allow him to do that.
So in the end I popped RAEG for IDDQD for myself, ran into his face and exploded my remaining two rockets point blank and followed them up with berserk blaster bursts until he finally hit the dirt. I won with 1 hp left.
Thus ends the Kyle Katarn marathon, which I started at the end of April with Dark Forces. Not too shabby.
