CKII is released.

[Vaarna_Aarne]

The saga continues

Currently the kingdom is at the height of its territorial expansion, and I'm feeling miffed there's no option to create a titular empire (or any Finno-Ugric empire for the matter).

There's been two big civil wars (both ended by assassination due to how frustrating they can get to win fair and square), but stability is generally maintained. Currently some five years after this pic the realm is in deep shit though, since the king died fighting back the Seljuks in Cheremisa (I would have totally won the war for them eventually, despite Seljuks Kutalmisids ass-pulling new 10k+ stacks whenever I stomped the present ones), leaving his son in charge. This, as usual, led to a huge shitstorm that's still ongoing, and my Republic of Gotland is causing further problems (I have to give the Patrician in charge two Master titles to offset their penalty, so they better start building some goddamn trade posts soon). Once things quiet down, I can start worrying about expanding into Volga Bulgaria to check the Turks (who are somehow super-mega-stable despite having very little de jure authority).

Suomenusko was reformed in short order at the game start (helpful that two of the three needed holy sites are in Finland, the third one handily in Novgorod which is a natural expansion direction). Vikings have been my sworn enemy since early on, when Danes and Swedes thought they could fuck with me and get away with it.

OH GOD ITZ HEAVAN

The only other country that succesfully resists and fights back the Turk hordes is mighty Georgia.

(Seriously, something IS protecting Georgia in CK2)

 

[Lagole Gon]

Just ask them next time, they'll send you wimmin.

It's not fun when you ask for it.

 

[RK47]

Ah, yes, THIS mighty Georgia, you mean.

 

[RedScum]

First time i sent my son off to the Varangian guard he came back as a scarred soldier with some extra martial skills, so it aint all bad.

Next time though another son of my dynasty brought home a greek whore wife, unfortunately she did not survive the "harsh weather"..

 

[JarlFrank]

One time, one of my sons came back as an orthodox christian with the zealot trait.

Probably the only Orthodox Christian in the entire Byzantine Empire because everyone there was Bogomilist.

 

[Average Manatee]

Just ask them next time, they'll send you wimmin.

It's not fun when you ask for it.

OK, you got me there.

There's been two big civil wars (both ended by assassination due to how frustrating they can get to win fair and square)

Are you aware that you can usually white peace at around 20-30% warscore, keeping all your vassals, then manually imprison them 1 by 1 after the war and revoke a title from each due to them being traitors?

 

[RK47]

Yeah finally formed a Zoroastrian Empire.

Spoiler

 

[Lagole Gon]

WTF!?
Plundered Rome again, kidnapped pope's daughter (pope gonna pope).
Cool, I will make her a proper viking concubine when she gets a little older.
Well, that was the plan anyway. You see, pope executed her. That's right. She was in my prison and he executed her somehow. Vatican agents I guess.

Spoiler

 

[Kattze]

Better to die rather than be despoiled by infidels.

 

[Tigranes]

Raiding IS too easy and it makes me wonder what playing a Karling would feel like, wouldn't it be like rebelstomping in EU3 except a hundred times worse? No naval battles and super-fast naval boarding means unless you're an idiot (which I was, once) you can't really get caught.

 

[Kattze]

The great Zarathustra, agent of Ahura Mazda, appeared in my dreams. He said:

'Aryamehr, you have done well in freeing the Parsa from the yoke of the Ahrimanic cult of the Arabs. You have shown patience and understanding to Aryans, who strayed from the path of the pure and the good, and brought them back to Ahura Mazda. Like your namesake, Daryush, you have provided justice, peace and compassion to all. You have restored the Iran to the borders set by the sons of Sassan and for that I congratulate you.

However, I have not come to exalt you but to warn you of calamities to come, tribulations that would engulf not only Iran but the rest of the world as well. There would come a time when a man named Abdul Itlar, born from Austuristan, would spread bloodshed to the whole world, marching under the Aryan name, despite being descended from Germanic tribals. He would be eventually defeated by easterners bearing hammers and sickles and by people from across the seas, marching under the banner of $ but not before wreaking complete devastation to the whole world.

The only way for this future to be averted is to purify the world with the sacred flame of Ahura Mazda. The will to power is beckoning and you must heed the call. Never rest, Aryamehr, for you are the chosen one, the Saoshyant, the one prophesied to bring peace and mercy to the whole world!'

Thus spake Zarathustra.

 

[XenomorphII]

Put your retinue on your boats and surprise them. That or get your retinue in position, raise the levy to "hold" the vikings then move in and destroy them. As long as they don't take holdings though, it doesn't seem to really bother the economy much (from my experience as Wales). If you are in an area that is already all Catholic, and don't need bonus relations with the pope, you might as well be sending your Chaplains to convert in their courts and permanently end the raids.

 

[Kattze]

Have you ever had successful pagan conversions? Almost every time I send missionaries, they always ended up in jail or permitted to preach but thrown into jail after converting a courtier.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Raiding IS too easy and it makes me wonder what playing a Karling would feel like, wouldn't it be like rebelstomping in EU3 except a hundred times worse? No naval battles and super-fast naval boarding means unless you're an idiot (which I was, once) you can't really get caught.

The kicker is that the bastards can do it on rivers too in case of the Norse (which is pretty much THE most OP thing Norse can do),

 

[Average Manatee]

Checking the event I can't find anything that decides what the chances of the AI throwing your preacher in jail after converting a courtier are. Dunno if that's a bug or not. For reference here's the chances when your preacher is first caught:

Spoiler

Chance to imprison

Spoiler

option = {
name = EVTOPTA39600
ai_chance = {
factor = 3
modifier = {
factor = 3
trait = zealous
}
modifier = {
factor = 5
any_vassal = { controls_religion = yes }
}

modifier = {
factor = 5
NOT = { year = 930 }
}
modifier = {
factor = 5
culture_group = baltic # The most stubborn pagans
}
modifier = {
factor = 3
culture_group = east_slavic # Angry at Muslim Tatars, also like alcohol
FROM = {
religion_group = muslim
}
}
modifier = {
factor = 5
culture_group = north_germanic # Vikings do like their alcohol
FROM = {
religion_group = muslim
}
}
modifier = {
factor = 10
any_war = {
using_cb = religious
attacker = {
character = ROOT
}
}
}
modifier = {
factor = 10
any_war = {
using_cb = pagan_holy_war
attacker = {
character = ROOT
}
}
}
modifier = {
factor = 10
any_war = {
using_cb = viking_invasion
attacker = {
character = ROOT
}
}
}
}

chance to let free

Spoiler

option = {
name = EVTOPTB39600
ai_chance = {
factor = 1
modifier = {
factor = 4
NOT = { year = 930 }
culture_group = north_germanic # Historical outcome
FROM = {
religion = catholic
}
}
modifier = {
factor = 3
trait = cynical
}
modifier = {
factor = 2
trait = arbitrary
}
modifier = {
factor = 3
culture_group = east_slavic # Historical outcome
FROM = {
religion = orthodox
}
}
modifier = {
factor = 4
any_war = {
using_cb = religious
defender = {
character = ROOT
}
}
}
modifier = {
factor = 4
any_war = {
using_cb = crusade
defender = {
character = ROOT
}
}
}
}

Raiding IS too easy and it makes me wonder what playing a Karling would feel like, wouldn't it be like rebelstomping in EU3 except a hundred times worse? No naval battles and super-fast naval boarding means unless you're an idiot (which I was, once) you can't really get caught.

The kicker is that the bastards can do it on rivers too in case of the Norse (which is pretty much THE most OP thing Norse can do),

No, the most OP thing the Norse can do is the conquest CB on any coastal province. Remember when Republics could do that, but they had to start with the city and then take the entire province later? Now Norse can take Rome and Venice and have a massively overpowered demesne (7 slot provinces + way ahead of time upgrades) as soon as they can hire 3k mercs for a year. Or hell, prepare an invasion and use the free soldiers to help do it before the timer is up.

Other pagans are still pretty OP too though. Their +80% to unit defense, +.8 morale is silly powerful, if it weren't for the fact that it only works in their religious territories and that it's hard to convert territory to your religion before reformation I'd consider them overpowered. +80% garrison just makes sieges a complete pain in the ass. And all pagans have that silly subjugation CB on all other pagans, west africans can march an army up to Russia and start taking duchies at a time.

Also a funny/ridiculous bug: if you move a non-raiding army into a nation that you are raiding with another army, the non-raiding army can directly siege and capture holdings for you. It will stay captured permanently or until you go to war with that nation, they can't siege it back.

 

[XenomorphII]

Have you ever had successful pagan conversions? Almost every time I send missionaries, they always ended up in jail or permitted to preach but thrown into jail after converting a courtier.

Yes. That usually happens, but I just kept trying. In my Wales game (after I had driven the heathens off my isles of course) I managed to get the King of Denmark/Norway to convert (and he held onto his titles ultimately, and I ended up marrying his granddaughter), the King of Sweden, the Duke of Finland, and the Duke of Gotland all converted as well. It made my life much nicer.

 

[Brinko]

That trait is amazing, though I wish it was a title your character kept forever like an Ork Warboss.

 

[oscar]

The anti-Skyway?

 

[Tigranes]

Well, I just got raped by European powers and reduced to an OPM. Serves me right for trying a Prepared Invasion of West Francia.

 

[XenomorphII]

Republic related question: As Almafi (think that is the name, it was added in TOG and is a Greek Ortho republic in the new start date, partially), is there anyway to replace the Italian families with Greek ones? Or do I have to try to educate their children into Greeks? (I already tried murdering them into the ground, but alas, they were replaced by more Italians)

 

[Trash]

Has anyone ever found anything useful in those mysterious locked chests?

A +2 axe. That's right. An axe with +2 written on it that then gave my character plus 2 martial. Most retarded event in CKII to date. Pissed me off immensely.

 

[oscar]

At first I wondered if it was one of the forum-submitted events but,

With 28 pages of bearded events, we hope that you can understand that we really need more time to read all your events carefully, before we announce the winners…
Therefore the winners will be announced on the 17th of June.

Someone at Paradox really thought that was witty. Ah well it wasn't as bad as the arrow to the knee "joke" event someone proposed..

 

[RK47]

 

[Malakal]

We already had events like that, including the "gates of hell" so its not a big stretch and fits the era of heroic tales of knights and their wacky adventures.

 

[Malakal]

Made me LOL.