Vapourware Google Stadia - "a game streaming service for everyone"

[Dexter]

https://twitter.com/MisterAntiBully/status/1196816117022507017 is just bullshit though. And there's so much to critique, no need to make up shit. That paste is just common sense stuff spelled out for clueless people (their target audience).

Do you think these "clueless people" this was supposedly for and we heard so much about in the run-up to this "Launch" will be (positively) surprised to know that nobody else in their household can Stream movies or music while they use their "Stadia"? Or that they need an Ethernet cable connected to it for even the most basic "quality"? (That Washington Post reporter apparently used Wi-Fi for instance. )

 

[abija]

Those are mostly suggestions if you have problems. A wifi setup that would allow you to properly play games on a laptop should satisfy Stadia (on your end, that is).

Washington post reporter is clearly a moron.

 

[Fedora Master]

Good. Google deserves to fail.

 

[Outlander]

Xi's triumphant return hastily put on hold?

 

[Jenkem]

Anyone who thought it would be a good decision to give money to Google for a new product at launch deserves what happens to them.

 

[Curious_Tongue]

 

[Infinitron]

Brutal:

Who Is Google Stadia For?

Google's Stadia launched this Tuesday to a level of fanfare that has not been seen since the Ouya. So who is the audience for this $130 video game streaming-but-not-how-you-think not-console?

STADIA IS FOR hardcore gamers who want to face the ultimate challenge - playing games in which their character moves noticeably later than usual in response to their inputs.

STADIA IS FOR anyone who finds crisp graphics upsetting, and would prefer their games' visuals to be hidden behind a subtle sheen of fog and blur and compression artifacts.

STADIA IS FOR anyone who thinks they're signing up for something like Netflix or Spotify or Game Pass, only to be delighted when they discover they actually need to buy all the games individually.

STADIA IS FOR anyone who doesn't want to be tied down to a console or PC, and would rather enjoy the freedom of being tied down to a Google Chromecast Ultra.

STADIA IS FOR fans of paying a monthly fee to play games they have already purchased in 4K, even though most games don't actually render in 4K with Google's POWER OF THE CLOUD so they are upscaled from 1080p to glorious(ly artifacted, blurred, foggy) 4K.

STADIA IS FOR fans of intimacy who look forward to the reduced player counts of Stadia-specific games without multi-platform crossplay.

STADIA IS FOR anyone who wondered what it would be like to play Destiny 2 - a two year old game - with Medium settings.

STADIA IS FOR people who are tired of enormous game downloads, and would prefer to use ten times as much bandwidth streaming those same games.

STADIA IS FOR anyone who thinks, "Ah, clever and compelling," when they see this:

STADIA IS FOR those who despise mods and the ability to change graphics settings.

STADIA IS FOR fans of this genius company that hired Phil Harrison, whose strategy for the Xbox One resulted in a resounding success for the PlayStation 4.

STADIA IS FOR anyone who wants to buy games on their phone, because those games can't be purchased directly on the Stadia. It's also for anyone who wants to redeem codes using a web browser, because those codes can't be redeemed on the Stadia or a phone.

STADIA IS FOR anyone who lusts for a dedicated Google Assistant button (thrilling!) that does nothing at launch.

STADIA IS FOR Mortal Kombat 11 fans who do not want to play the game's Krypt mode, which is unplayable for reasons no one can discern.

STADIA IS FOR risk takers who get a thrill every time they turn on the device and find that - against all odds - technical problems have not brought down the servers, and Google has not yet abandoned the project.

STADIA IS FOR anyone who thinks that fast, reliable internet connections without data caps are more widely available than hardware capable of playing video games locally.

STADIA IS FOR people who like to solve non-existing problems by never owning the entertainment they pay for and making everything a million times more complicated and wasteful, giving more and more control to horrible corporations.

STADIA IS FOR the handful of people for which all of the above are true, and for collectors of obsolete gaming platforms.

 

[Jenkem]

There will be a commercial for this during the game awards featuring people of various genders and ethnicities staring intently into the camera each proclaiming, "I am Google Stadia."

 

[Fedora Master]

Something Awful of all places being funny?!

 

[Outlander]

B-b-b-but like it or not streaming games is here to stay!! It's teh future!!

Right, guys?

...guys??

 

[Azalin]

 

[Mortmal]

I'm confused, I thought this was just a streaming service
why do I need to buy a $130 package to use it?

It's a real deal, if you Subscribe to "Stadia Pro" for $10 a month, you even get game discounts!

So you have to pay for the service then buy the games individually?
what

Its not that simple, you pay for the service , buy the games, but there's no guarantee the game will even stay forever on your account, exactly like on google android app, some stuff may be removed.

 

[Steamboat Willie]

There will be a commercial for this during the game awards featuring people of various genders and ethnicities staring intently into the camera each proclaiming, "I am Google Stadia."

You just know they're out there trying to find a way to spin Stadia criticism as "alt-right". Then they can get all the mainstream journos to fall back into formation.

 

[Palikka]

 

[baud]

I'm confused, I thought this was just a streaming service
why do I need to buy a $130 package to use it?

It's a real deal, if you Subscribe to "Stadia Pro" for $10 a month, you even get game discounts!

So you have to pay for the service then buy the games individually?
what

Perhaps they are pricing it that way so that only rich buyers suckers buy it, on the idea that those who can afford it have the necessary high-speed, low lag connection and good device to decode in real-time the video stream.

 

[Heretic]

There will be a commercial for this during the game awards featuring people of various genders and ethnicities staring intently into the camera each proclaiming, "I am Google Stadia."

Right on point

 

[Jenkem]

that commercial.. wow LMFAO really let themselves go

 

[Black Angel]

Looking back at these past few months, it's staggering how optimistic the Codex is about Stadia being the future

 

[Taka-Haradin puolipeikko]

Looking back at these past few months, it's staggering how optimistic the Codex is about Stadia being the future

Codexians by their very nature expect things to decline to utter shit in the future; something like Stadia fits perfectly such nightmarish vision.

 

[Mortmal]

Looking back at these past few months, it's staggering how optimistic the Codex is about Stadia being the future

Codexians by their very nature expect things to decline to utter shit in the future; something like Stadia fits perfectly such nightmarish vision.

But have we ever been proven wrong ?

 

[Black Angel]

Codexians by their very nature expect things to decline to utter shit in the future; something like Stadia fits perfectly such nightmarish vision.

Yea, I forgot a fully matured Codexians would have Actual Art Degree internalized by default

Problem
Yeah, it's another copotype -- the worst one. The most savage and brutal. The Art Cop. Nothing is good enough for him. Everything is *shit*. You have to employ an armada of adjectives to depict and demean the mediocrity of the works and visual institutions around you. Really *flex* that critical muscle. Until the vocabulary for PUNISHING mediocrity becomes second nature. Here we go...
Solution
Trite, contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism, eye-fucked me, affront to humanity, war crime, should *literally* be tried for war crimes, resolutely shit, lacking in imagination, uninformed reimagining of, limp-wristed, premature, ill-informed attempt at, talentless fuckfest, recidivistic shitpeddler, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, just one repulsive laugh after another.

No wonder we revel in discussing things such as, "What is an RPG?"

But have we ever been proven wrong ?

Well... Codex was once optimistic at the period of 'Renaissance RPGs' of Kickstarter era, I guess?

 

[DalekFlay]

Looking back at these past few months, it's staggering how optimistic the Codex is about Stadia being the future

I still think game streaming is still very much the depressing future of mainstream gaming. That doesn't mean it will be Stadia by any means, and it doesn't mean it'll happen in big numbers anytime soon.

P.S. Be careful trusting niche tech sites and such as a measure of how much Joe Blow is interested.

 

[rusty_shackleford]

As far as I understand, there are games designed with Stadia in mind that use typical latency hiding tricks you'd see in online games. If things like Stadia were to be the future, this would have to be far more prevalent.

 

[Dedicated_Dark]

Trite, contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism, eye-fucked me, affront to humanity, war crime, should *literally* be tried for war crimes, resolutely shit, lacking in imagination, uninformed reimagining of, limp-wristed, premature, ill-informed attempt at, talentless fuckfest, recidivistic shitpeddler, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, just one repulsive laugh after another.

Some more of my favs., Atrocious, juvenile, garbage, trash, convoluted, infested, parasitic, derivative, nonsensical, in-cohesive, pseudo-shakesperean, incoherent mess.

 

[DalekFlay]

As far as I understand, there are games designed with Stadia in mind that use typical latency hiding tricks you'd see in online games. If things like Stadia were to be the future, this would have to be far more prevalent.

I've read plenty of reactions to Stadia along the lines of "OMG it works!" If people at Cnet, Giant Bomb, PC Gamer, Digital Foundry, etc. can say that shit, what do you think random asshole coming home from a 10 hour work day to fuck around in Assassin's Creed for an hour is going to think? Stadia's business model and launch features suck ass, which is what most mainstream reviews are actually focusing on, but someday this shit will get a strong push without a shitty business model.