Well it is the same with me, I can not understand how any "true" fan of the original XCOM can like Phoenix Point.
XCOM and Jagged Alliance are beside Fallout 1(!) my all time favorites. While neither XCOM, nor Fallout managed to ever come close to the old games, Jagged Alliance 3 actually managed to do that, for me.
And ever since Gollop and Snapshot Games fucked up Phoenix Point I completely lost faith in "modern gaming". In fact Jagged Alliance 3 was the least promising game for me, on my small list of games I was looking forward to. Well it surprised me for good, in a positive way.
Does it have short comings? Absolutely! I fucking hate what they did to the inventory, it is a clear downgrade from Jagged Alliance 2 vanilla, and I hoped for something more in line of 1.13. But that is, to me, the worst thing about the whole game.
I can't belief saying this, but I actually think I am close to having as much fun as I had with Jagged Alliance 2, back in the days. That has never happened before. By reading your complains, it is absolutely clear, that you will never get the feel for it.