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I like the image of sealing him under his own statue so whenever people go to pay their respects rumors will abound of hearing the tormented screaming of the damned and once every month howls and growls that seem to be coming from inside the fortress itself.
If Baud wakes in-game, I'd take option 1 (Leave Redlabored and wander the world freely). Because I don't fancy him going insane alone and sending him alone, toothless and limping for a death by gobelins/elves is too ridicule.
A limerick, eh? How very prestigious. Lemme try too:
To Baud
"In Angerith had he laboured,
Much with carpentry enamoured,
A gecko he mocked,
For which he was socked,
His name forever honoured. Unlike Kalin's."
Grimwulf Mayhaps we should add, ahem, the poetry section to the OP too? The KKK limerick competition is now officially open. Winner/s shall receive *speshul* prizes, directly from the kommisar. I hereby nominate myself and right honourable Citizen as members of jury, seeing as we happen to be the only dorfs of culture & education in this hellhole.
Hurrr, you are a KLASSIC therapist. Everything you say might be interpreted both ways. I'll count it as Option 1, sealing.
RIGHT THEN, we have 9 votes for sealing and 9 votes for healing. Which means throwing dat coin AGAIN.
Next time you'd better begin your vote with "Option X", and then post whatever depraved fantasies you have floating in your head.
1 - We seal him
2 - We heal him
Edit: It's decided. If Baud regains his sense before the full moon, he will leave the fortress. If not - we'll be fighting for his life, no matter what.
Sheeeeit fogot to switch votan when diz jighabagook about ME havin to klub im if he turns poz beast came up... Mebeh ah can take fully moon day off, manugmental training day or sumthin.
Well shit, time to say goodbye to at least a couple of other dwarfs who will succumb to the werecurse if not the whole fortress. I don't think y'all realize how much of a bad idea it is to have a loose werecreature inside a fortress. Especially with a half trained militia armed with wooden weapons.
you madmen
PS: I'm gonna volunteer right here and there as a weaponsmith for Grim's next Kodex Kastle. Because THAT's how optimistic I am about our chances right now
Mother of unholy fuk. Eleven years old? How long until adulthood? I have no freaking clue when dwarves are getting their driving license.
Anyhow, if ya wont get anything better, just call that bitch by my name.
Also, thanks Grimwulf. I was always afraid of DF, and Your LP is the reason I fucking downloaded and tried that shit out. Thanks bud.
Dwarves reach adulthood at 12 years. This one will get his license in half a year from now.
Let's do it like this: if we don't get another migrant wave until then, I'll assign the kid to you when he grows up. He is Dayyalu's son, for God's sake. Insanity is in his very genes.
This is great. Sign me up as the least incompetent adult member of the next migrant wave. No preference for sex though my avatar fits a female Dorf with no modification I reckon
AWRIGHT, YOU CURSED BRAINFUCKED GOBLINSPAWNS! Everyone intending to stay in Redlabored will follow TWO RULES that define Kommunism! NO TROUBLE and NO HOMO!
My preference, naturally, is for the prestigious and discerning gentledwarf's weapon of choice: THE BATTLEAXE.
I look forward to bringing renown and ever-increasing chances for bonaz to my Komandorf, glory to my Kommissar, and worldwide respect to my gulag TOWN of Redlabored.
With a little side-helping of personal fame and retarded adventurism of course
While we're waiting for Grimwulf to gibs us an update, let me just tell you about the horrors of the werecreatures in my newly started Fortress (yeah, reading this LP made me want to scratch that itch).
So, I found a nice spot next to a volcano, gotta start easy, it's been a while. At the end of the first year we only have 15 dorfs due to missing a wave because I neglected to build a bridge across the brook (told you I was rusty). Nevertheless I've managed to set up the magma forges and a fully equipped hospital with functioning well. It helps not having the Kodex Krazy Kounsel to guide you. Second year starts, some elf traders stop by and finally the migrant wave arrives and it's a big one. 43 Dwarfs in total, including a legendary weaponsmith! And EXACTLY at the same time, Are Ibenacara the elven Were Camel decides to show up in the path of the migrants...
By the time it transforms back to its elven form, 12 migrants are dead, plus another one who is in all certainty cursed by now. And let me tell you, this one wasted no time beating dorfs with their socks, it kept on going straight for the head-shots, no goofing around.
Now granted, this was against a bunch of unarmed and untrained peasants, not the battle-hardened, wood armed prole-bashers. Let just that be a cautionary tale of how lucky we've been so far and how fucked we all are if when Baud transforms in the middle of the Kastle and starts hunting us all down the corridors to beat us up with a dirty sock.
The elf traders come and days later an elf monster rampages through my fort. Coincidence? I think not! This means war!!!!!!
2nd Hematite, 126, Early Summer
The Outpost, Helly's Office
I must say your persuasion skills are rather impressive. How did you manage to change Kalin's mind on coscripting Givi?
Three words: "Silver War Hammer." No dwarf in the realm can resist the temptation of obtaining my craft. What can I say? I am simply that good.
A HAR HAR HAR HAR, haha, ahhh. Indeed you are.
Na.
*messes up Melbil's beard*
Now, if you excuse me--
I want you to stay, my dear weaponsmith. Our miners will be here any minute now-- Ahhhh, there you are!
*enter the office*
My, my, my. If it isn't the Kaptain of Kutting Kultists and Master Andnjord himself. *hugs Andnjord*
URGH! *tries to break free*
You called?
Tindrli, I need you and Givi to do a questionable, but nevertheless crucial service for the sake of our fortress.
*releases Andnjord from his grasp* They don't call me "A Serviceable Dwarf" for nothing.
*steps away from Givi* NEVER do that again! Gods, I have your beard-hair all over me!
As I was saying, me and my good friend Andnjord had a little discussion about the future of Redlabored, which resulted in a, what should I call it..? The only rational conclusion. You see, the dwarves of Redlabored are misguided, unable to see the big picture. Sure, they voted for construction of certain facilities, they demanded private rooms, expected the fortress to be built, etc, etc. But let me ask you one thing, Givi.
I know what you want to ask. Alas, my heart already belongs to another.
... That's not what I meant.
Oh.
Tell me, is it not true that a dwarf fortress needs to protect itself?
Aye, 'tis true.
Therefore, we need weapons, and for that, we need ore. Metallurgy is, after all, one of the main currents of craftdwarfship, and we will need both industry and resources to make it possible.
In other words, we need metal ores.
There is none in the fortress layer.
And this is precisely the reason why I cancel your previous tasks. I want you to start digging out the mines.
*hesitates*
You look uncertain, Tindrli.
What about the Kommissar?
Our Most Glorious Kommissar needs not to know about this little arrangement. After all, he is too busy figuring out stone block production.
Helly's right. Kalin conscripted the only capable mason among us to serve in his squad. You've probably seen her - old scholar, long greasy hair, tall and scrawny? Catacombs wife?
*shakes head*
No matter. Point is, the Kommissar won't notice a slight delay. Later we will catch up on the schedule, as soon as I forge a couple new picks.
I will do my best. However, I have an interview appointment with Baud later this week, so...
He is in a coma.
A minor inconvenience for a professional like me. Let's go, Tindrli. I will be right behind you.
Gai.
*walk outside*
No time to waste, o mighty one. We must make haste setting up a smithy and a smelter, as well as assigning a hard-working dwarf to smelt metal-bearing ores. I suggest we use the unoccupied Wood District.
Sorry, little friend. I ordered to set up textile industry there.
I see. We need thread and cloth to supply the hospital and tend to Baud's wounds.
No, my intention is clothing production.
Some dwarves complain about worn-out clothing. After all, what is Kommunism if not fashion, HAR HAR HAR--
*mumbles* I can imagine the look on doctor Azira's face when he finds out.
As for your work stations, they will be placed right near the mines.
I thought of appointing Lizzurd to work at the smelter. This dwarf is rather inventive. He proposed collecting useful refuse like bones and skulls and storing it inside the dormitory. A peculiar idea, don't you think?
Hrmf. I don't know if working in what is basically caverns, alongside someone like Lizzurd is befitting my status.
Caverns? This room was intended as storage for ores and metal bars. I suppose the Kommissar was expecting to find more metal ores when he designed the layout.
Don't let your hopes up, Helly. We will find good metals yet. All we need is to dig deeper.
*LUKs at Andnjord condescendingly*
Meanwhile in Stone District
GODDAMIT, you lazy-arse tavern-dwellers, WHY IS NOBODY working in my masonries?! YOU THERE! What was your name, Dungeons?
Cat-- *coughs* Cata--
CATHARSIS, you are a mason naw!
*coughs in protest*
I KNOW! That good-for-nuthin' Azira is "too busy" covering dead-ass Baud with dirty socks, and Kommander fucking Kalin took away the only promising mason we got from the last migrant wave. I hate them all.
*violent coughing*
Wrong, masonry is our TOP priority! Even a retarded old fart like you should be able to figure it out! Gotta make some tombs, statues, memorial slabs, then proceed with crafting stone blocks. YOU ARE FALLING BEHIND SCHEDULE ALREADY!
Gh, gh, KHHHA *drops on his knee coughing*
You only say that because you haven't heard the stories. When a dwarf dies, he has to be buried properly. Otherwise, the ghost won't find rest. Or so the legend says.
*gasps for air*
True. Can't imagine what it's like to be tormented by incorporeal spirits. To hear them talking to you everywhere you go. Listen to their stupid complaints, ideas, and comments. The horror...
5th Hematite, 126, Early Summer
The Surface
COME ON, you shit-eaters! The Kommissar ordered the fucking gates closed! Somebody haul the corpse inside already!
You there, dipshit with a stone slab on yar head!
Are you talking to me?
I will talk to your fucking corpse if you don't drag the body inside RIGHT NOW! And set a door at the entrance to her crypt, will ya?
Drag the body... set the door... Oh, my God.
Death... the horror...
*runs away sobbing*
You gotta be shitting me.
*standing behind Spigot*
Hrm? You shouldn't be here, kid.
It's all right. I just need to... go with the flow.
*mumbles* Ffffack's sake. Someone must bury the girl already...
In DF, it is very important to have vacant tombs on the ready. If a dwarf dies and left unburied due to a lack of coffins, bad things might escalate rapidly.
...
*goes away mumbling* Why don't we have a crypt? Fucking Helly and her Wood District, piece of sh--
Meanwhile in the Barracks
*smashes Kalarion's chest with a war hammer*
*gasps*
See? DAS haw ye SMASH!
I can think of approximately 14 reasons why your training program isn't working. The main one being your total incompetence.
Why doncha tink of DIS? *grabs crotch*
My nose is 238% larger than your dick, youngster. You'll have to try harder if you hope to impress me.
This is so lame. Can't we like get some proper weapons and, I don't know, guard the dining room?
FEH! Kommander Kalin needs a brek. Sick tired of ye whinin'. "Boo-hoo, my asshul is too soft."
Pfft.
BRUTHA FRENK!
He he he
Ye'r be in cumand far naw.
EEEEEEEEEHHHHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
I'll wutch.
*BASHES Reinhardt with a shield*
AWW!!
THAT's for stealing Kommander's socks!
B-but I--
*BASHES her again* Hehehehehe!
You will regret this. KKK WILL REGRET THIS!
The only thing I regret is HERPES! Now, DODGE lesson!
No. Not again!
PROLEBASHERS! Pile up on Storyfag! Storyfag, DODGE!
*gulp*
*grunts in satisfaction*
NOOO!!
Oi, Brutha Frank. Were is da fakin' Makro?
*shrugs* Growing a huge pussy, I suppose.
*enter the barracks*
Kommissar. Kommanding Physician.
We'r in da middul of a trainung, ya buttpluks. Whatcharront?
I have good news. Azira has bad news.
I found a baby turtle in my ale once. That's what I call bad news.
Let me guess. You ate the turtle.
I raised her for three years, doing everything I could. Feeding, training, singing lullabies. Then I dropped her from a cliff!
Thought she learns to fly this way. She didn't.
Flying alcoholic turtle.
Ahem. Anyway, bad news. Reinhardt and Storyfag, your brother is about to die.
Baud! C-can't you do anything?
My intern is making threads and proper bandages as we speak, but, all things considered, it is highly unlikely we will be able to save him in time. If Baud doesn't wake up before 19th Hematite, well... We all know what will happen.
Baud will turn. Good. We will watch him transform and learn.
What is WRONG with you?!
*shrugs* I became more confident.
No! You became a bitch!
So... What's the good news?
The Prolebashers can prove themselves for the first time. Kalin, I want you and your squad stationed in the hospital before the full moon rises.
Sorry ol chap, Imma taken fully moon day off, manugmental training day or sumthin.
If the Kommander takes a day-off every time Redlabored needs him, I have no use for such a Kommander. You WILL be there, Kalin!
Mah squat has NO WEPUNS! I rekwested a banch of WOODAN UNES far fark's sake - HOW LONK do ah haf ta waitan?
I'm sure Huelly has your weapons as the top priority.
Last I heard she canceled carpentry production. "To focus available dwarfpower on other activities", or some nonsense.
She WOT?!
Apparently, new clothing is more important than military equipment.
FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCK! Whaddya wont me ta do, you stupid fucks?! STRANGUL da beast with mah bare hands?!
That sounds risky. I like it.
I want you to do your GODDAMN JOB! Be thankful you have at least ONE war hammer! Now DOUBLE those death drills while there's still time!
*grips the war hammer tightly* Ye heard da bossy figur. SMASH demunstrashin! *turns to Storyfag*
Can we talk about th-- AAAGH!
6th Hematite, 126, Early Summer
Redlabored, 19 levels below the ground
We did it, Tindrli. We did it.
It's just a gold cluster. This layer is composed of dacite. We should go back and focus on obsidian layers instead.
Obsidian? Please. It's so black and... uninspired. Let's mine out the current layer a little. And when we come back, they will call us The Golddiggers. Come on, give me a hug.
No.
Your loss.
10th Hematite, 126, Early Summer
Someone finally managed to drag Unib's corpse inside the Outpost. Her tomb is not ready yet, so we decided to put her body, along with numerous teeth scattered around, inside Kommissar's bedroom, which he no longer needs.
A traumatic experience, to say the least. Some of us cannot eat after seeing this.
As Spigot was about to pull the lever and seal the gates, we heard voices from the surface.
I guess we'll have to keep the gates open for a while longer.
Now, I have to find Kommissar Grimwulf and confront him about the severe lack of FLOODGATES in the fortress.
10th Hematite, 126, Early Summer
The Outpost, Hospital
*enters the Hospital*
*Suturing Baud's wounds*
Hrmpf. I'll come brack-- back. Later.
Wait.
Nah, it's fuen. Got shtuff to doo.
Are you drunk?
Yyyyus.
Funny. Do you want to talk about it?
...
*still in a coma*
I am a carpntr, you knows?
That you are. Silly.
Well... *lets out a long sigh, getting sober in an instant* I am with the Prolebashers now. For no reason, other than Kalin being Kalin. And Baud...
Baud was the only one of us with any sort of military background. He should have been conscripted in Redlabored's military. And I should've been working out there on the surface. Not him.
You would be dead now. Sad.
... Yes. Instead, I'll be waiting in this hospital along with the other cowards for Baud to transform. Once he does, I'll have to kill the dwarf who saved our lives. My life.
I wonder if walling him up would be more merciful than this.
*puts another stitch on Baud's wound*
I'm sorry, Baud. *leaves the Hospital*
*starts singing a weird song, composed of gurgling and popping sounds*
*gurgle gurgle, pop-pop, pop-pop*
*puts her hand on Baud's forehead*
*GASPS*
Welcome back. Happy!
What... happened?
I will call the Kommanding Physician and Kommissar Grimwulf. Stay here, little mortal. Excited!
Half an hour later.
Once we figured you're alive, we brought you here and did everything in our power to fix your body. And that's the whole story.
Gods... What day is it?
10th Hematite. Only nine days left until the full moon.
...
Azira. Can he walk?
I suppose so.
Then you are free to choose your own destiny, Baud. You realize we cannot ignore your current condition. Redlabored can't afford to lose any more dwarfpower.
What are the options?
We can wall you up inside this hospital. Or you can leave the fortress.
... Both are pretty depressing, to be honest.
It's all I got.
...
If you need a moment to think this over and talk to your family--
I don't fancy going insane alone in this hospital.
Are you sure?
*stands up from his bed*
Careful. Your knee is a mess.
No time to waste. I want to be far away from Redlabored when... it happens.
*nods* Your statue will stand in the Stone Garden until the end of time.
Farewell, Baud.
Goodbye, Az-- doctor Azira.
12th Hematite, 126, Early Summer
The Surface
*limping past his former work station* Heh... Made some good pieces after all.
Most of the furniture Baud made is left on the surface. Not enough haulers to move it inside.
*runs towards Baud* BRO, wait!
Hey, bro.
W-where are you going? I've just heard you came back from your coma!
Guess I'm leaving Redlabored.
Wait, what? You can't leave! Come on, bro. We'll figure something out, you just have to wai--
Naaah. Being chained in a dirty pit is not my sauce.
You didn't even say goodbye...
You know I'm not big on farewells either.
Dammit, bro...
It's all good. Hey, uh, since you're here - make sure you visit Unib's tomb every now and then, will ya? Just to wipe the dust, and to make sure no rats are hanging around. That sort of thing. Will you do it for me?
Yeah. I promise.
Cool. Um, see you late-- hm... I mean, let's hope we never see each other again.
...
Keep an eye on our sis. And get inside already, bro. Can't you see it's raining? I... should really go now. *turns around*
Goodbye, brother. We'll never forget you.
*walks away*
14th Hematite, 126, Early Summer
Spigot ordered everyone to stop whatever "useless shit" we were doing and start moving trading goods to the depot. We are about to sell half of our booze and food, along with Baud's and Unib's torn clothing and all furniture intended for Kommunalka. That last bit was kind of unexpected. But Spigot said that "farkin' demonspawn Helly" doesn't intend to construct Kommunalka at all, because she "thinks new dwarven panties are more important", so we might as well "sell those shitty cabinets."
Very disappointing, truth be told. The dwarves are getting depressed and heartbroken after recent events. Helly's call to halt Redlabored's construction is very shortsighted, to say the least.
While hauling gneiss cabinets to the depot, I heard someone mentioning Baud. Turns out, he recovered and left the fortress a few days ago. Without saying goodbye.
It's so, so sad.
But when I think about it... The Prolebashers would die if they had to fight a werebeast. They don't have any weapons, not even the wooden ones, because Helly decided to cancel all carpentry-related activity in favor of clothing production. Damn, I like Helly, but she is a really bad manager.
So, in a sense, Baud saved us all. Again.
Wherever you are, brother, I will pray to Anir for your safety.
17th Hematite, 126, Early Summer
Redlabored, Barracks
*punches Storyfag*
*doesn't even try to dodge*
DAFUK is wrong wid ya? Gunna take dat from da new guy like dat? FITE BACK, ya whining sukker!
Storyfag? Are you alright?
He's always been a child deep inside.
Even a child would beat Storyfag without breaking a sweat.
*SMASHES Reinhardt with a shield*
*flies to the far end of the barracks*
*SMASHES Citizen*
AWWWW *falls prone*
IF ANY OF YOU BROTHERFUCKERS SAY ONE MORE WORD ABOUT MY PERSONAL SLAVE, I'll-- I'll...
For fark's sake, what's wrong wid YOU?!
I'll do... something... hnngggg
Honey..?
HNNNNGGGG AAAAAA
Fuuuck... gross...
I'LL DO THIIIIIIIIS!!
Eeeehehehe. Mother Brother Frank.
*passes out*
Dada!
Back to training!
23rd Hematite, 126, Early Summer
The Outpost, Trade Depot
That'll be the last cabinet, Spigot.
Aye, now get yer greedy arse outta here.
Psst. Can you buy some human hookers for me?
UGH! GET OUT, you pervert! SCRAM!
*retreats*
Before we begin, may I inquire what happened to the previous broker?
No.
Okay... Well then!
*takes a taste of Sqeecoo's foul cooking* This is... Fucking delicious!
Quality of the item affects its value dramatically in DF. Sqeecoo became a really good cook, as most of our food is of exceptional and masterwork quality.
The quality of each item is indicated by the weird symbols you see before and after the item name. Here is the quest compass:
*rummages through human trade goods*
We bought:
- 1 copper pick
- 1 bronze spear
- 1 copper crossbow
- 25 bronze bolts
- 1 leather quiver
- some training weapons made of wood (can't make them ourselves, because Helly)
- 3 metal bars (1 bronze, 1 copper, 1 lead)
- a reindeer to butcher
- 2 doges (spaniel and dalmatian)
- 1 rooster to mate with Storyfag's chick
- 8 ropes (gonna need them soon)
- 6 barrels (we need those, and Helly decided to stop carpentry)
- 3 buckets (same reason)
- 9 bags
- a LOT of cloth and leather (Helly decided to start textile production, but we had barely any materials to work with)
- some thread and wool
- a TON of cooking and brewing ingredients to replenish our food and booze stocks
- CHEESE, quite a lot of it
- 1 sperm whale tooth ring (gay)
- splints and crutches
And finally, we bought a manual for Azira. Beginner level.
We sold:
- half of our booze
- half of our food (no point in selling more, since there is nothing more we want from humans)
- torn clothing
- a fuckton of gneiss cabinets (56, if memory serves me right)
And no, we can't sell dwarven teeth. Or use them for crafting, for that matter.
In terms of weapons, humans brought a lot of maces. Good silver maces. However, nobody in Kalin's squad uses them, so we skipped on that.
In terms of armor and clothing, everything they brought was too large in size.
In terms of seeds, they only had above-ground ones, which wouldn't be useful in current circumstances.
Humans made roughly 3500 profit in value, which is significant. But the more profit they make - the more goods they bring next time.
All in all, it was a good trade - one that we didn't deserve.
It was a great pleasure, dwarf.
Eat shit. *walks away, barking orders to haul stuff to the storages*
26th Hematite, 126, Early Summer
Redlabored, Stone District
GODDAMIT, dwarves! Why are you bothering me?! Go talk to your hellish manager!
She doesn't listen! This place needs traps, desperately so! Nobody is safe until we trap the whole place, maybe even construct a doomsday device that will destroy the fortress along with our enemies!
Yeah, right. Our enemies and ourselves.
A sacrifice I'm willing to make.
According to the project, our traps will be placed on the surface, namely withing the Beard Gates.
That is not nearly enough! How can you be so profane, so naive?
How can you be so paranoid?
We need highly complex devices of pain and torture.
No. We need practical and efficient safety measures.
Safety is our top priority!
The lowest one, actually. We are going to seal ourselves underground, remember?
Kommissar! Why does a woman have a right to speak?
Hurrrr, SHUT UUUP!! BOTH OF YOU!
*running and panting* Kommissar! Kommissar!
Fuck my life.
FLOODGATES when?!
Later. Fark off, Seafood.
WELLS when?!
Later.
But you keep saying this for almost a month! Redlabored is not a tiny outpost anymore, it is a full-scale dwarf village!
We have over 50 komrades, therefore we are considered to be a village now. As you can see, Grimwulf is no longer an expedition leader - he is a mayor now. The Sheriff position was also renamed to Captain of the Guard.
High-standing dwarves have certain requirements, which must be met as soon as possible, or they will go nuts. For instance, Grimwulf will start killing dwarves if he doesn't get his quarters yesterday.
Traps.
FLOODGATES!
Idiots...
AAAAAARGH, ENOUGH! There will be NO floodgates and NO fucking wells until we have access to the cavern layer!
Why?
Because I WILL BASH YOUR BRAINS OUT, that's why!
Is it because of the drainage?
*exhales* Yes.
I don't get it, though.
If we dig out reservoirs right now and fill them with water without planning any kind of drainage system, dumping water will be a major headache.
Umm, why would we want to dump water?
What if it becomes contaminated?
We can use it to drown the invaders. The only real use for water.
That's exactly how you make fresh water contaminated. By drowning someone in it.
Yes. Effective and brutal.
No. Unnecessary and sadistic.
Can't we figure out the drainage later?
Has to be done beforehand. I suppose this is the reason why Grimwulf hasn't planned the waterways yet.
Aye.
Not because he is lazy or uncaring.
Aye.
But why dump it in caverns? Can't we pump water back to the river?
It would require a lot of waterpumps, either manually operated, or powered by a waterwheel. Or a windmill.
POWER YES!
Power no. Not at this point at least. Dumping it to the caverns is a simple solution.
Water could be used as a powerful weapon, and you suggest we dump it instead? Boring. Wasteful.
Fast. Effective.
You are all FUCKING DISMISSED. Next time go straight to hell.
... Helly, you mean?
Aye.
What about the traps?
DAMN YOU, DAVALU! Alright, I will make a fucking MANDATE here and now!
Mandates are generated randomly, depending on personality of the dwarf who mandates.
I want to see TRAPS! *coughs* Trap. One trap.
Wh--
THIS IS ALL YOU GET! More than enough to catch a deer. Or a homo. Now GIT BACK TO WORK!
2nd Malachite, 126, Mid-Summer
Floodgates. Bins. Horse-eye lasagna. Redlabored needs more of these. Much more.
Instead, we are ordered to make a trap. A TRAP.
Did you die for this, Unib?
Am I ready to die for this?
Oh, Gods. Just realized someone might be reading this.
No more entries. No more talking. No more socializing.
2nd Malachite, 126, Early Summer
The Outpost
Sqeecoo?
GAH, FOREIGN AGENTS! *locks herself inside the workshop*
*knocks on the door*
*no response*
*enters through the second door* General Secretary?
*draws something in her diary*
*carefully looks at the drawings*
A bit later
The Outpost, Dining Room
So what do you think?
*looks down in his goblet, lost in memories* A dwarven mind is fragile, my friend... Fragile indeed. Sqeecoo is beyond saving, I'm afraid. Unless...
Unless what?
*mumbles* Unless those pictures mean something... I have an idea. What if we provide Sqeecoo with what she wants and see if it helps?
I see no harm in that.
Why don't you try talking to Helly? If you manage to convince her to set up a jewelry and assign somebody to cut some gems for Sqeecoo - who knows? That might do the trick. Meanwhile, I'll have a talk with Spigot. Pretty sure those humans also had cut gems among their goods, so maybe we can sell more booze in exchange for them.
What about those skeleton pictures?
No idea what to make of that... But maybe the Kommanding Physician can help us out. Maybe if we butcher that deer we bought recently..? Look, I'm out of ideas, but we have to try something. And do it fast.
She is not going anywhere, Mediant.
Yes, but her mind is slipping away. And time is working against us.
9th Malachite, 126, Mid-Summer
The Outpost, Helly's Office
Kaptain of the Kutting Kultists, I have a question for you.
But of course, my old friend.
What are you doing, Helly?
What do you mean?
You assigned me as a miner again, but that is only half of my concerns. Why are we not digging Redlabored? What are we doing 19 levels below the ground?
Mining metals, of course.
Helly, there are no metals down there. Only gold.
Marvelous.
More than we need. Scratch that, notwhat we need at all.
All I ask is a little trust, Mustawd. I've ordered to set up a smelter and smithy, once we--
Nobody gives a damn about your orders. The dwarves are too busy. Smelter? Not a single dwarf bothered with building your smelter.
Grimwulf assigned more masons than our masonries can handle, and yet nobody is rushing to complete your orders. We are swamped, Helly. Too many assignments, too little dwarfpower.
I'm bored. Depressed. Frustrated.
But most of all, I'm tired. Actively avoiding sex with Reinhardt is a tiresome task by itself, but following your pointless orders is a whole new level of torment. Because there is no such thing as "enough gold," eh?
*stares at Mustawd with polite hatred*
Look. I get it. You know you have no chances to be re-elected. I'm not going to vote for you. Nobody is. So you decided to send both ours and Kommissar's desires to hell. What I don't get is to what end? Why do you need that gold? Why do you want to dig deep? Why on earth did you need that textile industry which nobody is working on? If I was in your shoes, ready to ignore both your komrades and the Kommissar himself, I would build the Grand Hall instead. Helly, if you don't provide your dwarves with some way to vent their steam, you will face a full-blown riot. We will start killing each other. And that's all I have to say. *walks away without waiting for response*
9th Malachite, 126, Mid-Summer
I am the General Secretary, but the Kommissar won't listen to me. So be it.
I will MAKE him listen. I will make him
OBEY.
9th Malachite, 126, Mid-Summer
The Outpost, Dining Room
Hommm, that calf doesn't look too hot.
*hic* He is starving, genius.
Grazers need to be kept outside. Not here, in this excuse of a tavern. But since we decided to close the gates...
Poor creature.
*grumbles* Reminds me of my wife...
We should ask the Kommanding Physician to butcher the calf. This might be even merciful, given the circumstance.
*enter the dining room*
*hic* Begone, foul demons!
Kek.
The humans are leaving. *sigh* I saw pretty earrings in their stock...
Not as pretty as your husband, yes? No?
*makes an inappropriate gesture with her tongue*
Kekekekeke.
Your scales make my legs so moist.
AHEM. So, hommm... How's Redlabored treating you?
Too many kiddos.
Also, dead dwarves.
Death... It seems to follow all of us. Like a curse. *pours himself another drink* Can't stop thinking about Baud.
*takes a seat near Friend*
I know that nobody asked him to fight the monster, but... Hommm, we kind of did.
Leaving him outside along with my daughter's wife. *drinks from a barrel* Same thing as sacrificing both of them.
They were not even fighters. I wonder what it's like - being used as bait? Thrown into the fray with no chance of survival, just so the others get a fighting chance... A fate worse than death.
14th Malachite, 126, Mid-Summer
Redlabored, Stone District
Kommissar Grimwulf.
I swear, if I hear ONE WORD about wells, or floodgates, or some other sh-- W-what's that?
The proof of my devotion to your ideals.
A... trap..?
It was your mandate to create an animal trap. I have completed the task. This is a deer trap made out of deer. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.
When a deer steps on a deer, the deer's scream of agony adds up to the sound of the deer bone trap claiming its victim. The deer trap cries. The deer victim of the deer trap cries. All deers must cry, scream, make dying deer sounds. Deer. Thus I named it Artobvod. "Combinedsound"
*lets out a manly tear*
Dead deer making more deers dead.
My. Son.
Umm, I am not a--
You are a legend. The greatest dwarf in Redlabored, not counting myself.
Does it mean you trust me now?
I won't doubt you ever again, Seagull.
Sqeecoo.
Whatever your name was. Now go do your job, and stop pestering me.
This Season is rather busy, so I decided to split the update in two. Second half coming tomorrow (I hope), and key choices with it.
Before you ask - no, it's impossible to fix your goddamn mistakes at this point, you worthless goblinspawns. Administrators my ass, piece of sh
B-but... My interview!.. and mining instead of producing tasteful propaganda? disheartening.
Also, if we dig deep enough, is there a chance to unearth a Balrog?
Andnjord did an insane job convincing both Helly and Kalin to assign you as a miner.
As for the interview, Baud woke up just in time to limp himself out of the fortress before the full moon. When I saw how slow he walks (took him 4 days to reach the edge of the map), I wasn't sure he'd make it in time. His knee is messed up, in case you don't remember.
This dwarf saved all our asses twice. Maybe we'll see him again. I really hope we don't
baud rest in piece
. 
Horrible! A fate worse than Death. 
I'll count it as abstained.
