Completed Let's Larp the Court of King Vale clumsily preparing a royal summit in Fit To Be A King

[ValeVelKal]

Our Court :
Knight Citizen the Dog
Knight Mondblut the Jester
Andnjord the Steward
Endemic the Seamstress
Darth Roxxor the Cook
Dayyalu the Butler
Vazha the Vintner
Helly the Executioner
V_K the Ghost
Father Azira
Ol'Willy the minstrel
Major_Blackhart the foreign diplomat
Kalarion the horse master
Sukhavati the Sultan daughter and new Consort
Baud the master of the Hunt

Jailed :
Knight Strange Fellow the Guard Captain
Moistcloister the old prisoner
Tindrli the treasury guard


People thrown into this even though they did not ask for anything
Volourn the Consort - Executed
Blakemore the Rival and King of not-France
Kalin the not-French diplomat
Emperor Dark Underlord
Crispy the Countess and Lady-in-waiting
Lilura the Knight
Horatii the Kid
Captain Draco the Sailor
Maxie the inn-keeper
Infinitron the Sultan
Taxalot the merchant that left his country

Part I : Introduction, clues already.
Part II : Meeting my good staff, the mystery of the missing key.
Part III : The Pope, the Father, the Ghost and me !
Part IV : The Dung Village
Part V : King Vale travels
Part VI : Might & Magic
Part VII : One wedding and one funeral
Part VIII : The Man in the High Tower
Part IX : The insanely wealthy beggar
Part X : The Summit
*******

Hear ! Hear !

I am Vale the 5th

I am a very weak-willed King, so I need a list of people willing to be part of my Council. As I meet people, well, YOU, you will be added to my Council, we will decide DE-MO-CRA-TI-CA-LLY what our next moves are.
Well, aristocratically, I guess.

And of course, not sure what will happen to you once we meet, given the peculiar list of commands of the game :

The list of volunteers will be curated a bit, so the most active people in other let's play are pushed up. I expect you to play the part of whatever fate gives you !

Also, before we start, as I just woke up in my room :

I am trying to remember which one of you is going to be my wife. My first wife, anyway :

And of course, I need a name for a rival. TemplarGR ? Trump ? I take all proposals !

Final note : this is highly experimental, and I only tested the game quickly to see if it would work for my... "project", so no complains.

 

[Andnjord]

I shall volunteer for your concil, sire! And may I propose as your beautiful bride, this fair maiden, blessed by the gods of the realm, the wondrous Strange Fallow!

 

[Ol' Willy]

If there's a place, count me in

 

[Darth Roxor]

The only man truly fit for a king is Kingcomrade

Wife: Volourn
Rival: Crispy

 

[mondblut]

What's that, an Ultima IV mod? My Liege, may I suggest to Graphics Mode?

Okay, I suppose I could participate. Make me a Duke or something.

 

[Citizen]

waifu - scrooge
rival - prosper

 

[Endemic]

Sure, I can be a duke\advisor\etc.

 

[Andnjord]

Wife: Volourn

Actually, our resident Pretty Princess is the only valid choice for the King's wife.

Spoiler

Speaking of which, how did Volourn ever get that tag, anyone knows?

 

[Helly]

Oh boy, this ought to be good, count me in!
Wife: Dakimakura
Rival: DU

 

[vazha]

Reporting for Spymaster or Court Herald duties. This time I will be productive, I promise!
Also, if the game permits it, you should build a harem, housing concubines such as TemplarGr, Fluent, That Chinese dude that never shuts up and other Codexian celebrities.
Item, may I propose your majesty's first punitive action to be the beheading of certain Felipepe for disgracing us with that horrendous "2020 RPG list"?

 

[Andnjord]

Since some members have already claimed their posts, I shall of course be the Lord Grand Admiral of the Navy.

If we don't have a navy, then whichever position above that of toilet-scrubber will do

 

[Helly]

If roles are a thing I apply for eXecutioner

 

[Strange Fellow]

Oh, we're doing Macbeth now? I third Volourn for pretty princess, and I'm in for whatever.

I shall volunteer for your concil, sire! And may I propose as your beautiful bride, this fair maiden, blessed by the gods of the realm, the wondrous Strange Fallow!

You're on thin ice, buddy.

 

[ValeVelKal]

Oh, we're doing Macbeth now? I third Volourn for pretty princess, and I'm in for whatever.

I shall volunteer for your concil, sire! And may I propose as your beautiful bride, this fair maiden, blessed by the gods of the realm, the wondrous Strange Fallow!

You're on thin ice, buddy.

The game would propose you to (F)orgive him or E(X)ecute him !

 

[Dayyālu]

Oh boy, this ought to be good, count me in!
Wife: Dakimakura
Rival: Dark Underlord

+1

The Dark Lord on its throne is a proper opponent.

Also, dibs on Chamberlain. This gonna be fun.

 

[Helly]

Another good rival could be the man, the legend, CLEVE BLAKEMORE himself.

Spoiler

 

[ValeVelKal]

Pick one soon, guys.

It is NOT Crusader Kings in any way, so no most of you won't be Dukes or whatnot. it is more like Ultima 5 or so.

 

[Andnjord]

Another good rival could be the man, the legend, CLEVE BLAKEMORE himself.

I'll vote for this as our rival. The man is a walking comedic troupe rolled into one person.

 

[vazha]

so no most of you won't be Dukes or whatnot.

But we waaaaant to be Dukes and whatnots! Maybe play CK III after this then?

 

[ValeVelKal]

Part I : Introduction, clues already

So here is our intuitu personae after all :

Bedroom with Steward Andnjord and dog Citizen

I wake up from a weird dream next to my Steward :

Well, let's talk to the guy.

Note that what will be put like <this> is going to be the keywords I use. If you see several, that's because different keywords, same answer.

Good morning, Your Majesty. A visitor awaits in your court, south. I do hope he's here to schedule the summit.

<name> My mother named me Andnjord

<mother> I do wish you hadn't executed her. Oh well!

<job> I am your steward. I will help however I can.

<steward> If you ever need help, just press H, that's what I always say.

<summit> At the summit we'll meet with King Blakemore, and show him we're more wealthy. Ask me about the summit anytime! I love it!

<Blakemore> A real showoff, that one. But we'll show him who's rich! Haha!

<rich> You must show how rich you are at the summit!

Oh really ? Well, let's get the first contribution from you, man

Ah !

Well, that's enough intro. Let's talk to the dog and see if it does anything :

His collar says 'Citizen'

<Citizen> Citizens seems to smile

<job> Ruff!

<summit> Citizen looks confused

Well, I tried to tax the dogs but he, or she, has no cash on him, or her. Or it. Whatever.

I opened the box (more gold !) and read the book :

Interesting advice !

Consort Volourn's boudoir

Well, next room is my beautiful ? wife. [if anyone has the avatar of Volourn I am taking it !]

Hello, dear Best wishes for your summit.

<name> Volourn

I should have known. Always hard to remind people's names.

<job> To produce an hear one day, I suppose. I miss the old days

<heir> We are working on it

Someone is barren !

<working> Volourn laughs and kisses you.

<summit> I am worried about your safety at the summit. Do you need more guards ?

<Yes> Oh very well ! I ll order them to attend.

<Collect Taxes> We share our finances, dear.

What is my wife reading ?

Ah ! She is a keeper !Well, what else is there to do here ? This maybe ?

I know ! There must be a secret passage behind the fire :

The Court with diplomat Kalin and jester Mondblut

Dang ! Well, let's go in the Court room then.

Ah, a throne, let's get all Regal !

Time to speak with that weird dude, and then the guy with the escort.

That summit is an awful idea. But I know some jugglers and a minstrel

<name> Mondblut, hoo hee!

<idea> Your steward is the idea man!

<jugglers>[<summit>] It's a waste of gold, but 200 will get you jugglers.

<minstrel> He's usually asleep in the bluebells by the courtyard fountain. Just yell MINSTRELL and he'll awaken!

Uhhhh first clue !

<job> I am your jester. I have sworn to speak only truths!

<truth> Like how that summit is an awful idea!

<sworn> I have sworn to do my job indeed! Hoo Hee!

<jester> Hoo gee! Tis the truth!

<speak> If you command it, I must say that summit is an awful idea!

<collect taxes> You pay me in onions, so here's your portion. Mondblut gives you a small onion. You throw it to the ground.



And let's finish with the big guy :

A visiting diplomat says : Bonjour. I suppose you wish to ask me about 'name' 'job' and 'summit'

Thank you, Mr Tutorial !

<name> I am Emissary Kalin, aide to King Blakemore, doing my job

<Blakemore> He'll respect you more if the summit is appropriately grand.

<grand> So the summit shall be !

<job> I have been sent by King Blakemore to inform you he shall visit. Do you have enough finery prepared for the summit ?

<No> Then perhaps you should have your servants being to prepare. King Blakemore will employ hils tailor, stablemaster, guard captain, vintner, and so on

<tailor> <all other jobs in the list> Ask your steward about your staff. I've no idea.

<summit> When you are ready, inform your steward. But King Blakemore will surely spend more lavishly than you could afford.

<bye> Farewell, you majesty

Back to Steward Andnjord

Well, I guess he asked me to go talk back to the Steward, so back to Steward Andnjord :

We must bring more luxury to the summit than King Blakemore! I'ill tidy up while you prepare for the summit!

Wait ! Wait ! Wait ! You already have new lines ?

<Prepare> The summit will require quite some funds

<funds> You've tucked savings around the castle. The treasury is full of gold but I heard the key is lost.

<key><lost> The crown key ? Nobody knows what happened to it, sadly.

<tailo.... wait no. You are going to tell me where to find them, and I don't care about this. I don't even know what a vintner is anyway. So later if I don't find them. BYE

Some no name room

Now exploring the last room for today, immediately East of the Court Room :

More cash ! Also, there is a book titled "REFORM". I wonder what it says :

We stop for today ! Here is the known world :

Andnjord, mondblut and Citizen as the only members of the Court, you are to decide, in character (even you, Citizen), what am I going to do next :

- Who am I going to Knight, if any !
- Who am I going to eXecute, if any ! [Execution is two-stepped : the victim is first brought to the execution area, where he can still be Forgiven, or well, confirmed eXecuted.
- Who do I Jail, if any !

For divorce and marry, well, currently I can't divorce because of the Pope. I can't ordain my own priests, either. For now. Soooooon.
I can't tax the guards. I try. I can do any of the rest, though.

Also, where do I go next :

- See my fair people in the village ?
- See my servants (tailors and other), in the West ?
- In the religious area, to maybe start the Reform ?

And of course, if you want me to test keywords, I will do it.

 

[Andnjord]

<name> My mother named me Andnjord

<mother> I do wish you hadn't executed her. Oh well!

Aaaw, what's a little mother-killing amongst friends

As for voting, I suggest thy Majesty visits our fair people, we shall need to (C)ollect Taxes from them first before we can hire the tailors.

EDIT: Volourn's avatar is the default one, ergo:

Also, she should say ROOOOOFLES!!! Like, a lot.

 

[mondblut]

Keep exploring the castle, Liege. This is how running a kingdom works.

 

[vazha]

:Coughs politely: A vintner is a dude who deals (imports, sells, distributes) in wines of various sorts.

 

[ValeVelKal]

Part II : Meeting my good staff, the mystery of the missing key

Treasury with Tindrli the guard

As suggested by my Jester, I explore the rest of my castle, collecting tax from everyone I meet and opening every single chest (for this reason I won't be telling you about these if they are just in the way).

In the corner of the Court Room, there is a ladder down. VERY MYSTERIOUS.

So I get to check what is down there :

Ah ! The treasure course of course, which was below the throne room [check the Palais des Papes in Avignon for instance]. Well, I remember there is a key issue. Let's ask that guard :

A soldier says : Welcome to the treasure. Sorry to hear about the key.

<name> Tindrli

<job> I guard your treasury

<treasury> Aye, it's your treasure. If we had the key you could use it!

<key> It had a little crown on it. Nobody knows where it went! Tindrli seems fidgety. You think she's lying.

Wait, this is very suspicious. Very suspicious. "She" guard ? In MY medieval age ?

<lying> No I'm not! I mean, you wouldn't punish someone based on a feeling would you?

<punish> Tindrli shrugs fearlessly

<summit> Sounds like you'll need a lot of gold

<gold> Plenty of gold in this here treasury.

<Collect Taxes> Tindrli is paid in room and board

<bye >Tell me when you find the key !

Hmm. Let's get back to the throne room and explore the rest of the castle.

Sewing room with Endemic the seamstress

In the West there is a bunch of corridors. I won't bear you describing every corridor, so I will just tell you the rooms I visited :

- A room with a spinning wheel and some nice woman - a seamstress apparently.

I get to talk to her :

You're looking very regal today. I look forward to the summit."

<name> Endemic, at your service

<job> I'm the castle tailor. I sew all the royal clothes.

<castle> Finest in all the land, Your Majesty

<regal> A gold suit will do nicely at the summit

<suit> A suit of pure gold cloth for the summit will cost 500 gold. But you don't have that much.

<summit> For 500 gold, I can sew a SUIT of gold

500 gold ? What's your margin on that !

<tailor> I shall sew a royal suit for the summit

<Collect Taxes> : Endemic gives you their taxes. + 30 gold!

Before you go, can I ask you a question ?

Er... yes ?

Why did you pick me as the seamstress ?

Well, I had a limited choice of people to pick. Your avatar looks like a woman, I may get to marry you and really I don't want to marry Strange Fellow's avatar.

Kitchen and pantry with Darth Roxxor the Cook and Dayyalu the butler

- Next I visit the kitchen, next to witch there is a pantry :

Ah ! A fire ! Let me check whether it will be the fireplace of the game with the secret passage :

Ah ah ! Vindicated ! 25HP going, 25HP leaving, but +50 gold. You recover HP when sleeping in the throne room anyway.

Now, talking time :

A large cook says : We're cooking up a storm for the summit, Your Majesty

WHY AM I THE COOK ? WHY AM I THE COOK ?

Your avatar looks fat and satisfied. Plus, rats in kitchen, makes sense. Have you seen this documentary on restaurant made by Disney ?

<job> I am a cook here in the castle kitchens

<cook> The burns and cuts are all worth it

<burns> <cuts> Don't worry yourself, Your Majesty.

<castle> Finest in all the land, Your Majesty

<summit> My dream is to cook a roast dragon... and eat a golden flan!

<dragon> We'll need a brave knight to kill a dragon! Ask the Guard Captain

<knight> The Guard Captain will know who is worthy of dragon slaying

God ! Good thing I am doing this let's larp, I am not going to lose my notes.

<Guard Captain> The Guard Captain should be in the barracks

<flan> The butler knows the secret of the golden flan

<butler> Yell for Dayyalu in the pantry. He sleeps in there sometimes.

Collect Taxes : Darth Roxxor hands hover his waves. + 20 gold!

Well, I know what to do in the pantry then. I [Y]ell Dayyalu, and what do you know...

BUTLER ? SERIOUSLY ? WITH MY AVATAR ? I WANTED CHAMBERLAIN !

The dude was sleeping on duty and you are Italian. Also, please stay in character

Ah, hello. I wasn't sleeping, no. No.

<sleeping> I do sleep too much. My apologies, Your Majesty

<name> Was it not you who yelled ? I am Dayyalu, Your Majesty

<job><butler> I am your faithful butler

<summit> Perhaps I shall make a golden flan ?

<flan> When you have 700 gold, we can make a delicious golden Flan

<expensive> Oh, you know. About 800 gold worth

Errr where does that 100 gold difference comes from ?

Collect Taxes : John gives you their taxes. + 20 gold.

Getting drunk with Vazha the Vintner

After visiting the pantry, I visit what is below the kitchen, and what do I see...

LOTS AND LOTS OF WINE CASKS. Also, clearly I am on the other side of the treasury ?

I "U"se the casks a bit and what do you know :

Direction is all scrambled, and I got those bubbles on my screen. Let's ask the dude there what he is doing :

Welcome to the cellar, Your Majesty

I petitioned for spymaster and you give me VINTNER ?

You were the only one knowing what a vintner was in the first place.

<name> Vazha your majesty

<job> I manage your royal wines

<manage><priest> The priests make the wine and I manage it.

<wine> Use the casks for a tipple, or I can order wine fountains for the summit

<fountain> You'll finance wine fountains with 600 gold

<No> Entirely reasonable, your Majesty

<cellar> I manage several fine wines here, including those for the summit.

<summit> Perhaps the fountains should flow with wine!

<treasury> Your treasury is right next door! I hear the guard muttering at night...

<muttering> I think she's planning a big trip soon!

<trip><foreign> Something about escaping to a foreign continent

<continent> You know, across the channel where Blakemore and Dark Underlord have their kingdoms

<Blakemore> He's the worst!

<Dark Underlord> Emperor Dark Underlod, he's on the move again.

<channel> The body of water that separates us from Blakemore's kingdom

OK so we are either not-France, or not-England. Given Kalin welcomed us with "Bonjour", I suppose the later.

Anyway, this was all very interesting, thank you for the 30 coins in taxes, I will have to do something about Tindrli I suppose.

Some minor rooms

Going up, I explore a bit the rest of the left wing of the building :

I find a small room with...

A LUTE !

West of the kitchen there is also a a lader to the rampart :

Overall, the explored layout looks like this at this point :

Yeah, there are some enclosed space, I guess I need to reach from below or above.

Helly the Executioner and Strange Fellow the Guard Captain, plus the jail

Anyway, I carry on, and go South of the pantry, finding myself...

OUTSIDE !

Further East, I find the Executioner :

A fine day for executions, if you must

<name> Helly for short.

<job> I perform executions

<execution> I perfom my role in one fell chop

<chop> I perform executions with skill.

<skill><role> Helly points to the bloody block before him

<blood> We clean the block as best we can, Your Majesty

<summit> I don't think I'll attend that.

Ah, best way to bring a wave of fresh air to the party !

<bye> I'll be here if you need an execution

Thanks for thhe 50 gold tax. You gave more than some other.


Finally, I explore the building to the West, it is the barracks !

One guard has not much to say, but there is also...

A guard captain says : inspecting the barracsk, Your Majesty ?

<name> Captain Strange Fellow, Your Majesty

<job> I'm your Captain of the Guard!

<captain> I manage your soldiers

<soldiers> Aye, we're training hard for the summit

<guard> I hope we improve their armour before the summit

I appreciate you saying "armour" the proper not-England English way.

<armour> Well, we could buy fancy golden armour for 1000 gold, but it seems we don't have that much right now.

This is getting ridiculously expensive at this point.

<gold> Aye, there's plenty of gold in your treasury, I hope

<treasury> <Tindrli> Your treasury is below the court. Tindrli is currently assigned there. She has been acting strange since we lost the crown key

<key> I offered Tindrli a partner in case the thief returned, and she refused! Said she could take care of it by herself. For some reason, she likes being left alone down there.

<alone> Treasury duty is unpopular... one's likely to go mad sitting in the dark with all that gold.

<summit> I have some ideas about the summit... perharps better armor. I wish we had destrier, roast dragon, a choir, firebreathers, and jugglers!

Whoa ! Whoa ! Whoa ! maybe you should not be Guard Captain but some stuff like Event Manager !

<destriers> Your master of horse can order fine destriers, surely

<roast dragon> You need a knight to slay a dragon ? For the kitchens, I am sure. I'll assign someone I forget the name right now. Tell her you need a roast dragon and she'll find one.

Forget the name ?

Might be someone important. Also a she. You could marry her maybe. We don't want to waste a character like this with a bad name.

<person whose name you clearly forget> She prays in the town chapel, to the southwest

<choir> Your chaplain wishes he could train a choir for the Pope

<Pope> Some say you should (R)eform the Church and swear new laws on the Bible!

<Bible> Captain makes the sign of the cross on himself

You clearly had a lot to say. Thank you for the taxes !


Finally, last element of our visit, we check below the barracks and it is the prison :

There is a guard with not much conversation, but later everyone we [J]ail will end up here.

Andnjord, Citizen, mondblut, tindrli, vazha, Dayyālu, Endemic, Darth Roxor, Helly and Strange Fellow - you are part of my Court. You are to decide, in character (even you, Citizen), what am I going to do next :

- Who am I going to Knight, if any !
- Who am I going to eXecute, if any ! [Execution is two-stepped : the victim is first brought to the execution area, where he can still be Forgiven, or well, confirmed eXecuted.
- Who do I Jail, if any !

Also, where do I go next :

- See my fair people in the village ?
- Finish exploring the Courtyard ?
- Explore the ramparts ?
- Go in the religious area ?

Also, please tell me what you think of the format - too much dialogs ? Not too interesting ? etc ! Still time to stop this .

 

[Dayyālu]

Good. First of all, I need a cap.

That looks like shit.

I don't care, it's historically accurate and you need a hat. The hat makes the man, remember our lessons of religious art. The hat.

It still looks like shit.

In character now, shush

My king! In this treacherous age, you should always be careful about thieves!. So, I suggest to keep a good eye on your Treasury Guard! Maybe, if my fellow courtiers agree, we should [J]ail her. Just to be safe and to keep safe my our your gold.

Also, it should be proper to check the religious situation of the Kingdom. For sure no one here would be more loyal to the blessed Pope than to you, fair king, but a closer check could be in order.

Spoiler

I have no idea about the structure of the game, but if it's an Ultima-like I don't know if your system will keep up. Worth a try nonetheless, I guess!