Completed Let's solo Baldur's Gate on Insane (feat. The Codex)

[Merkwürdigliebe]

Are they African or European skeletons?

 

[Achilles]

The images from the beginning are gone, Photobucket says "Bandwidth exceeded. Any chance for a re-up please?

 

[MicoSelva]

You can force talk Bassilus after charming him to find what that was about his father and stuff. I'm sure you know.

Yes, I know, but there was no opportunity to do so. It was either let him be killed by his undead and lose XP, or kill him that moment.

The images from the beginning are gone, Photobucket says "Bandwidth exceeded. Any chance for a re-up please?

I'll reupload them to another photobucket account when I have some time. Hopefully today.

EDIT: typo.

 

[Serious_Business]

Wow, man. This game is kinda sucky, isn't it?

Well, I like your writing, classy and entertaining, so keep it up my negroid.

 

[Malakal]

You should have ignored reputation for now and instead bought necklace of fireballs from the festhall. That would make Your life WAY easier.

But well, good luck with Sirens.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Hahaha, this was a fun read!

 

[MicoSelva]

Screenshots from updates #0-#4 should now be visible again.

You should have ignored reputation for now and instead bought necklace of fireballs from the festhall.

The "no run-throughs" rule would have made getting to to festhall a major pain, even considering shortest possible route. Besides, optimal tactics aren't always the best solution when audience is involved.

 

[Thor Kaufman]

No, i think he means the first encounter when he throws 2 fireballs and then teleports away. Otiluke's probably for preventing teleport. The fisting part i don't get unless you can damage it while Otiluke's is on him, which you shouldn't be able to.

It's an exploit, the only way to damage someone in an Otiluke is by punching afaik.

You can also try to kill him via skulltraps or by that similar priest spell (glyph of warding iirc) but you need a shitload of them so that's kinda the easy way to go about it if you want to kill that guy.

 

[relootz]

moar

 

[Malakal]

moar

 

[MicoSelva]

Update #7: Beach & Bitches

Update #7

Alright, everyone. This is it. We are getting first book of permaboost in this update, which means we'll have to deal with sirines and golems. That should be fun, right?

That depends what you mean by 'fun'.

I mean you dying a lot, in various ways, or even many times the same way.

Thanks for the reassurance.

Let's move on, then:

We enter the dreaded lighthouse area.

Looks like a nice day for a walk on the beach.

The Codex is gaining experience fast - the one beneficial side of going solo. We should get at least one level up in this update.

Bassilus shouldn't make himself too comfortable in his spot there, for we plan to replace him rather soon.

You are awfully optimistic. I don't like that.

Our epic adventure begins with an attack of a pack of tasloi.

What the fuck are these?

Basically, xvarts with spears. And less blue. And a little bit less annoying. No shriek, and all.

Oh yeah, that. Thank gods I won't have to fight those fucking farts ever again.

Right. Never again. Promise.

Tasloi are no match for The Codex, of course.

They managed to tire me. That counts as something, I guess.

Actually, You were already tired. We just didn't notice.

Oh. Tasloi totally suck ass then.

Not only they suck, but they also do it in large groups. And here's another one.

Greeeaaat. I think they might get as special place in my heart as that held by gibberlings.

Let's hope not.

Die, filler!

Not wanting to let tasloi monopolize boredom on the Sword Coast, some hobgoblins appear in The Codex' way.

How about I go home and come back when I'm really needed?

Seven hobgoblins later, we're done.

One of them dropped a scroll with a spell yet uknown by The Codex. I guess that counts as notable loot. Another one dropped a magic missile scroll, which I unfortunately didn't screenshot, since it proved to be a Chekhov's Magic Missile later on.

Are we going to rest anytime soon? This sword seems to be getting heavier by every passing minute.

I don't see why not.

8 hours later The Codex' journey is continued.

Oh, great, nighttime again. Should have kept my mouth shut.

As Minsc sometimes says: night is a great time for an ambush. Here's one conceived by hobgoblins.

We have yet to see who is ambushing who here.

I consider them much more ambushed than me.

You have a point.

Hey, look who's ahead!

Let me guess. No hints, please. Hobgoblins?

And the main prize goes to the gentleman in horned helmet!

Boom! Throatshot!

That's unnecessary cruelty, I think.

I bet the audience has the same opinion about you presenting them with every detail of every encounter ever.

Do You know the term 'half-assed'?

Sure. That's the first thing that comes to my mind when I see you.

Right. Let's do something a little more constructive and loot the bodies.

Well, hello there, ladies.

Before they see The Codex, we back off a little to prepare.

Prepare? You mean I won't have to charge blindly and hope for the best?

Not this time. I have plan. More than one, actually.

We'll try to horror them into submission (I would bet that I've made a screenshot of buying this spell in High Hedge, but can't find it anywhere now).

The Codex casts the spell next to the sirines.

Unfortunately, sirines don't give a fuck. Or maybe The Codex just sucks at magic.

Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you cut your wrists and we'll check how long it will take you to bleed out to death.

Time for plan B.

Plan B already? I haven't even died once yet. No that I'm complaining.

The Codex hides and will try to backstab one sirine, hoping it kills her, and then quickly start slashing the other one.

I see I spoke too soon about not dying.

It's even better, as it seems sirines either have spreaded, or there's another one isolated from the rest. We can backstab her while being out of range of the others.

I could totally touch her boobs right now before she would even notice.

You might do that, and die afterwards. Or we might actually try, you know, killing her, which would net You 2000 XP. Which will it be?

Wait. Let me think about it... Well, alright, I'll leave the boob touching for women who don't spike you with poisonous arrows on sight.

The Codex sneaks behind the sirine and plunges his sword into her with a mighty trust. This inflicts some moderately impressive damage, especially considering the low multiplier (x2).

The way you describe it, I'm guessing the psychological damage she took is even more severe.

The attempt to interrupt her spellcasting is a failure though, and she turns invisible.

You can't hide from me, water-bitch! The Codex will find you and rip your liver out!

Why the sudden agression?

That's my way to vent the UST. You see, it works that way...

I don't want to know!

Whoa... What is this? Who are you, bitch? Die!

Sirine manages to confuse The Codex, but that doesn't stop him from cutting her down. Luckily, the dire charm attempts were resisted. But we can still end up fucked here. Codex, do you hear me? Don't move!

Where does this voice come from? Where am I?

You're doing great! Don't move!

What... the fuck... is going... on?

Ok. That was weird. I couldn't focus my thoughts on anything. That must be what console gamers feel like. Can you tell me what just happened?

You killed the sirine while confused, suffering barely a scratch yourself.

Really? Wow. I kick some serious ass!

You also leveled up.

Oh yeah, gratz to me!

We stealth-scout a little further ahead. Second sirine is more or less where we first saw her.

Killing this one will be a little trickier - there is another one nearby.

We execute the level up before continuing. This is one of those dual mage/thief ones.

I think it's the first time when The Codex' saving throws are improved. Better rarely than never, I guess.

The rest of the summary. Note the increased backstab multiplier. This should prove very useful.

The sirine we just killed is now the queen of our prey. She might keep this title for a while, since we probably won't be hunting greater basilisks anytime soon.

Leaving the character screen, we see some hobgoblins a few steps to the north. Those bastards just shamelessly respawned in plain sight like in a freaking MMO! What the fuck is wrong with this game?

Calm down, I'll just kill them and we can move on.

It's not about killing them. It's about the rules!

Oh, I don't care about these. I'm chaotic neutral.

We rest to prepare some more spells.

Daytime. Great!

Here's The Codex' spell arsenal for the upcoming fights. 2x sleep, 2x charm and 2x horror.

The Codex starts by trying to charm the sirine.

Hello, baby. Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?

Unsurprisingly, it fails, so we try to submit her to a rain of arrows, hoping that will be enough to interrupt her casting.

It's not. The Codex is dire charmed by the sirine - I guess her pickup line was better.

Go away. I don't like you anymore.

The game is cheating a little here and treats charmed Codex as dead - I guess the assumption is he will be raped over and over again until he dies from exhaustion.

Death count: 22

Reloading.

That was a surprisingy pleasant expereince. For a death, I mean.

Yeah, maybe next time You'll drown in a barrel of beer. Can we move on?

We'll try to scare the shit out of the bitch this time.

It fails. Of course.

Let's try it again!

Wait... or whatever.

The result is no different, unfortunately.

What is with these broads' saving throws? Shouldn't the spell work at least some of the time?

Yes. It should.

What's the next step?

Dunno. Depressed. Try something yourself.

Alright. The bow says he's feeling lucky. This gal is soon turning into a pincushion!

Boom! Headshot! Great job, bow!

Wow, You actually made it! Nice!

If you want to tell me I'm a badass motherfucker, I already know.

Time for some more scouting.

Yup, the next sirine is still there.

Let's backstab the shit out of her!

37 damage. Pretty good so far.

FUCK!

Well, that might bite us in the ass in the very near future...

Maybe I can put her to sleep before she does anything.

I'm not sure if sleep even works on sirines, but it can't hurt to try.

Sleep fails. The Codex starts attacking the sirine as soon as she reveals her presence by some careless move.

There you are! I can hear you!

He wasn't killed you goddamn piece of shit cheating game! It's only a temporary status effect!

Wow, miss sirine, you sound so beautiful. I think I'm in love. I deifnitely like you much more than than stupid player guy.

Death count: 23

Reload.

I'm hesitating whether I want or do not want to try that again.

Less talking, more backstabbing, please.

40 damage! Looks promising.

How many HP do these sirines have anyway?

More than You do, for sure.

Yeah, we all know the drill: she turns invisible, The Codex casts sleep in hope that helps.

And it doesn't help.

Yes, mistress. I will stand here and stab myself in the liver repeatedly.

Death count: 24

Loading the game.

I thought you had like ten backup plans for these encounters. What happened to them

You suck at magic, that's what happened.

I guess it's backstab time again, then?

If You'd be so kind...

Only 25 damage this time.

I think I know where this is heading.

Don't be a defeatist.

Wait, I heard something. She must over there somewhere!

You're going to shoot an invisible target with a bow?

Yes. Something wrong with that?

Oh no, nothing wrong. Good luck!

HE'S NOT DEAD! HE'S STANDING RIGHT OVER THERE, UNHARMED!

I feel this nice fuzzy warm feeling inside...

Death count: 25

Reloading...

Wow, it looks that was Your 25th death. Maybe we should celebrate?

Strangle yourself with a tie, then I'll celebrate.

Here's the abridged version of next attempt: The Codex tries to kill sirine with his bow. It ends in kind of a draw. Sirine dies but manages to charm him with her dying breath.

Nooooo! What have I done? I must kill myself to attone for my sins!

Death count: 26

Load game.

Alright, I'm out of ideas. Maybe I should just sneak past her...

No, wait, I've got something... The backstab tactics isn't bad. We just have to make sure she doesn't turn invisible after that.

How do you suggest we do that? I can't swing my sword fast enough to stop her.

Do You still have that magic missile scroll You picked up earieir?

Yeah. Why?... Oh, I think I get it.

We start with a mildly successful backstab.

Yes! Spell interrupted! Now kill her, quick!

With pleasure! It's your turn to taste sirine blood, sword!

AND STAY DOWN, BITCH!

Finally! I thought we'll never move from this spot. Should have prepared magic missile in the first place, instead of sleep.

What are these ugly fuckers?

Carrion crawlers. You should watch out, they're quite dangerous.

More dangerous than sirines? I don't think so!

Damn, that hur-

Warned You.

Death count: 27

Reloading.

That death was a very unpleasant experience which I would like to never repeat. Can we arrange it that way?

Let's do our best.

The Codex approaches carefully, to get in range of one crawler only.

Do your thing, bow! Kill that motherfucker!

Hell yeah, choke on this, fucking worm!

I've got something for you too!

The fuck!

Time to run away, I think.

Seconded!

Yes, Yes, YES!

We move on and soon meet another sirine:

I'm tired with the hide and seek. Bow, let's annihilate that bitch!

On the other hand, I'll just strangle myself with the bowstring. Yeah, that seems like a good idea!

Death count: 27

Reloading.

So? What now?

Let's scout the situation first.

O shit, there are three of them, and one is all talky-talky.

The other two will attack, or rather cast, on sight. Backstabbing is probably doomed to fail. How about You try to charm her?

Can't hurt to try... wait, actually, it can hurt.

We'll try it anyway.

Hello, gorgeous. Aren't those beautiful legs of yours tired of running through my mind all day?

She doesn't buy it.

Now you die, whore!

Not this again. You couldn't have just resisted that, now could you.

Oh, no, I've killed an angel! I can't live like this!

Death count: 28

We reload.

If You keep getting charmed, we'll be stuck like this for a long time.

Can't help that I just like them ladies.

Maybe we should have kept the gender change belt for a time like this.

That's some dangerous thinking there. People have been burned for less, you know.

It happened for a second time, though. Maybe what we need is You shooting a bit faster?

That can be arranged.

Shessofuckingdeadnow!

Ohmygodialmostkilledherandshessobeautiful!

Yeah. I wouldn't call that a success.

Death count: 28

Reloading.

So, what now?

I'm out of ideas and don't want to keep trying and count on sheer luck, so we'll going to just sneak past them for now.

You're going to admit defeat?

I'm going to postpone victory.

Right...

The Codex sneaks into the cave.

Whew, made it. I honestly thought that my hiding skills will fail at the worst possible moment and I will get slaughtered by the sirines. It's good to be able to relax a little now.

Well, actually...

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?

I was just about to tell you. There are flesh golems here. They are immune to non-magical weapons.

Are they very strong?

Quite strong, in fact.

Fuck! Mah nose just got punched inside mah head!

Yeah, honestly, I expected that. Wanted to try fighting these golems anyway, if only for some lulz.

Death count: 29

Reloading.

LULZ!? I'll give you lulz, you shitty pile of turd! Do you have any idea how that hurt?

Well, no. But look at the bright side. You won't ask any questions now, when I suggest sneaking through here as well.

You cunt!

The Codex takes the right hand route now, and sneaks past the other golem.

I'm getting pretty good at this stealth stuff too.

There's our target. Hopefully, no golem around here.

Shit.

Fuck!

Ok I'll just grab the loot here...

I think it saw you.

Oh fuck, no! NO!

Yes, unfortunately.

Death count: 30

Loading game.

Let's approach from the other side. It's a shorter route, so a successful sneak should last long enough.

Ok.

The Codex approaches from the left-hand side. Now, however good he is at stealth, he will become visible when accessing the stash, and can't hide again when in sight range of the golem.

Yeah, I was just about to ask about that...

First, we take the essential stuff - we'll come back for the rest later, when it's time to deal with the golems the proper way.

And The Codex disappears using an invisibility potion.

Ha! So long, sucker... Hey, where did he go?

Cave is explored, so we can leave.

Do you think grabbing a sirine's ass counts as an aggresive action?

Want to take the chance?

Hm... We shall meet again soon, ladies.

Since The Codex is invisible anyway, we decide to scout the remaining part of the area. We pass some woman NPC.

There are some wolf-type enemies here. Apparently invisibility potion also masks The Codex' scent, since they don't react to him at all.

Also, two hobgoblins have respawned.

There's also Safana.

Oh, I definitely want to have a talk with her.

A little bit later, perhaps.

A pair of dread wolves. It would be nice to remmeber about them later, since they would make some nice XP, as always.

I think I like being invisible.

Another NPC woman.

A pack of tasloi.

It would be nice to remember this spot, and don't go anywhere near it when I'm visible again.

And finally some worgs besieging an abandoned lighthouse.

That's too stupid for a coincidence. I smell a quest.

Indeed.

The Codex goes all medieval on the worgs.

My sword thirsts for blood!

They're no challenge, although The Codex is bitten once.

I hope I won't start to turn into a wereworg at full moon now... On the other hand, scratch that last sentence. A transformation like that would be kind of awesome.

Accidentally, I might know what you're talking about, lady.

Yes, I am awesome, I know. But keep telling me. The Codex likes that.

The gold is rather pathetic, but 500 XP is not too shabby. The Codex also gets his 19th reputation point.

Perfection is now within arm's reach!

What did I tell you before? Why are we back here?

I might just have the right idea to make you a little happier. Here's what we do:

1. You cast sleep at their approximate location.

2. Most of them fall asleep.

3. You approach and kill those still awake.

Yeeeeehaaaaw!

4. You're free to slaughter all the sleeping ones.

Mwahahahaha! Slaughter!

So, how did you like that?

You definitely know how to rub me in the right places.

That's... kind of disturbing, actually.

We meet Safana.

Well, hello there. You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the forest.

Will You stop with the cheesy lines?

Shut up, I'm trying to get laid here.

You can join me anytime, anywhere, lass!

And not only walk, if You get my drift...

Since we've already robbed the sirines' treasure, Safana's 'loyalty mission' is complete. Some party members in BG will get impatient and leave the party if You delay doing their quests for too long. Mostly they just leave the party, but Minsc, for example, gets enraged and attacks You. It once happened to me on the stairs to the upper part of gnoll fortress. Yeah.

Safana doesn't have anything worth taking.

I would argue about that, except I don't really think she has her virginity anymore.

Maybe I could keep her?

No.

Bye, girl. I will miss the short time we spent together.

We do some identifying. This is the thing we came here for - manual of bodily health.

The Codex likes very much!

And a wand of paralyzation.

More like wand of sirine raping, amirite?

That's kinda creepy, you know.

The Codex' constitution is raised by one using the manual.

Unfortunately the HP gain is a rather pathetic +4.
Here's the math behind it, if someone's interested:
Initial HP is changed from 7 (11+7+5 = 23, divided by 3) to 8 (12+8+6 = 26, divided by 3) [all division results are rounded down].
The other 3 HP are from fighter's level ups. They gave us 11/3 = 3 HP per level before, and now it became 12/3 = 4 (1 HP gained x3 level ups = +3).
There was also one thief level up. That gave us 7/3 = 2, now changed into 8/3 = 2 (no actual change).
All other level ups were dual mage-thief. They provided (7+5)/3 = 12/3 = 4 HP per level. That is now changed to (8+6)/3 = 14/3 = 4 (again, no actual change).

Are you finished, 'cos I kinda fell asleep. Can we go kill the sirines now?

Let's go.

On the way back, it turns out carrion crawlers have respawned.

I hate these ugly bastards.

The Codex is wounded and has to retreat all the way to the lighthouse, but manages to kill them without dying.

I'm not gettng eaten by them anymore. It sucks.

We can go back to serious bussiness now.

They won't even know what hit'em!

First sirine is successfully paralyzed and used as a target practice.

7/7. Good job, bow.

Unfortunately we get into sight range of Sil when trying to kill second one. That probably won't end well.

Do your worst, bitches!

They do their worst.

Hello there, ladies. Now that I'm totally on your side, maybe we should take advantage of that?

Death count: 31

Reloading.

Couldn't you have waited there for a moment? I was just about to have a threesome with two blue-skinned chicks!

They would've made you eat broken glass, as always.

We approach with more caution this time. Sirine resists the paralyzation, though.

So... what now?

You do have Your bow, don't You?

Like that helped before...

But it proves to be enough this time. Sirine soon lays wasted. All that was needed was resisting her dire charm.

I was tempted there for a moment, but realised that these waterchicks can't do anything that Safana won't do anyway.

Don't want to know.

Only Sil left. We exploit the game a little and spike her with arrows when she approaches The Codex to talk. She's already pretty hurt during this dialogue.

Well, she kept getting hit and still approached anyway. That's a serious case of stupidity.

She's a tough bitch and still requires five more arrows to the face to die.

Farewell. You will be remembered as a major pain in the ass.

We check some dead bodies for posessions on the way out, finding a Blindness spell scroll. The codex doesn't know this spell yet, so it counts as notable loot.

Area completed!
-------------------------

Next time: The Codex puts his badassery to test and fights ogre berserkers, hand to hand.

You could've just written 'The Codex dies'. It's shorter and otherwise all the same.
------------------------------------

!-Announcement-!

The book swap voting (see bottom part of last update) is now one and a half votes for (one of the votes is conditional), and none against - so far so good. I will make final decision when second wisdom book is found (that's still rather long time away), so if anyone has some fors or againsts, You can express them anytime.

 

[Malakal]

Good job but You are not going back for flesh golems?

 

[MicoSelva]

Good job but You are not going back for flesh golems?

Not just yet. The only magical weapon I have is the short sword, for which The Codex has no proficiency. I'll come back later with some kind of enchanted 2H sword.

 

[Azira]

Here's another vote "for". You constitution sucks, and who needs wisdom?

 

[Merkwürdigliebe]

Here's another vote "for". You constitution sucks, and who needs wisdom?

Don't know could help with all those charm spells and such, more hp is always good though.

 

[Azira]

He'd need at least 15 wisdom to get a bonus to spell saves, and that'd only translate to a +1. No, hitpoints seem more worth it in his case.
Now, had he started with 18 wisdom, it would've been worth it to get to 21, as that gives plain out immunity to a bucketfull of rapetastic spells such as Fear, Hold Person and Charm Person.

2nd Ed AD&D has funky rules.

 

[MicoSelva]

Yes, the initial flawed plan was to proceed to the endgame with 16 CON for 'optimal' HP and 15 WIS for +1 bonus to saves. Now that I'm aware of significant HP difference between 16 and 18 CON, the +1 bonus from WIS doesn't seem all that attractive.

 

[relootz]

But low HP equals a lot of deaths and thats entertaining.

 

[taplonaplo]

The sucky part about tutu with no mods solo is that you can't carry all the shit you find. I'm a hoarder when it comes to BG. A clarity potion would have made it a piece of cake.
Ogre berserkers... you went north? There's also a helm of charm protection on that area. Certainly would have helped.

 

[MicoSelva]

But low HP equals a lot of deaths and thats entertaining.

I think there will be enough of that anyway.

A clarity potion would have made it a piece of cake.

Yes, I really regreted selling the one I had, after it turned out that The Codex gets charmed basically every time sirines cast the spell. I didn't remember it to be so bad, but then all my previous characters had better saving throws.

There's also a helm of charm protection on that area. Certainly would have helped.

If You mean the quest with the kissing nereid, that ogre mage has just a helm of protection (+1 saving throws and some elemental resistance). Not that it wouldn't help.

 

[taplonaplo]

Hmm, my bad. But while we are at that, i don't know how the hell you would spawn it considering the bitch kills you if you talk to her.
Anyway, moar!

 

[MicoSelva]

i don't know how the hell you would spawn it considering the bitch kills you if you talk to her.

Ah, yes, I had a workaround ready for that specific situation. I even used it when exploring that area. It's not in the LP, because I later reloaded and went a different route. Screenshots are still on my hdd, so maybe I'll put it up sometime as a bonus update.

Anyway, moar!

Will try to upload the next one tomorrow, but no promises.

EDIT: if the noble codexer audience would be so kind, the update will look best on the next page, I think.

 

[relootz]

moar on the next page

 

[marooned]

Bumping into overdrive.

 

[Merkwürdigliebe]

EDIT: if the noble codexer audience would be so kind, the update will look best on the next page, I think.

I agree, Bumping for great page change.