Baldur's Gate Baldur's Cringe 3 compilation thread

[jaekl]

This thread has been a monumental disappointment to me, so in the interest of supporting haters and trash talkers across the globe, I’ve decided to offer a prize for the poster who can make me cringe the most with a screenshot or *short* video clip from Baldur's Gate 3.

-Prize will be a game of your choice from GoG, valued at $20 CAD or less. I’ll send you a code via PM.

-Contest ends at an arbitrary time of my choosing next Saturday

-keep video clips really short please, like 2 minutes is pushing the limits. I want a *quick* laugh/cringe which is fun in short doses but becomes painful very quickly.

-Everyone is allowed to enter, even if you’re one of my forum enemies or a BG3 superfan

Your brother in hatred,
jaekl

Current contest leader: processdaemon with a beautifully curated gallery of cringe ass situations

 

[TheCumGuzzler]

who can make me cringe the most with a screenshot or *short* video clip from Baldur's Gate 3.

 

[Tyranicon]

Can someone make this into a codex emoji?

 

[consgay]

Good short review from Lorerunner (a decent YTer imo) critiquing the bugs and weak story.

 

[NecroLord]

Orcs are literally created evil.
I thought Tolkien already explained that? They are by nature evil. The same as anything created by Morgoth.

The concept of "Evil" being a force of nature will melt some people's brain these days. Their mental capacity stops at "but I wouldn't think that!".

Indeed.
Nietzsche wrote about this. Now there is no good and no evil. Cultural nihilism will ruin human society.

 

[BosanskiSeljak]

Good short review from Lorerunner (a decent YTer imo) critiquing the bugs and weak story.

I've watched most of his videos on crpg's and looked at his "review system", I just wish he wasn't so autistic about certain things. He has a hardon for Mass Effect 2 because he autistically headcanons 95% of things and his headcanon for ME2 he just happens to really like. Other weird things like NEEDING music in games, and I'm not talking about backing tracks or atmospheric music, he basically wants a soundtrack meant to be listened to outside the game, which I don't agree with. He also gets butthurt when a game has spiders because "so many people have arachnophobia you should add an option to get rid of them".

But then he turns around and has some great analysis like with Age of Decadence or Witcher 1. It's always a 50/50 whether or not his vid will be great or just shit fanboying.

 

[Eisenheinrich]

Good short review from Lorerunner (a decent YTer imo) critiquing the bugs and weak story.

I've watched most of his videos on crpg's and looked at his "review system", I just wish he wasn't so autistic about certain things. He has a hardon for Mass Effect 2 because he autistically headcanons 95% of things and his headcanon for ME2 he just happens to really like. Other weird things like NEEDING music in games, and I'm not talking about backing tracks or atmospheric music, he basically wants a soundtrack meant to be listened to outside the game, which I don't agree with. He also gets butthurt when a game has spiders because "so many people have arachnophobia you should add an option to get rid of them".

But then he turns around and has some great analysis like with Age of Decadence or Witcher 1. It's always a 50/50 whether or not his vid will be great or just shit fanboying.

I saw some of his videos and now I'm just sad how he lives.

 

[Fedora Master]

Good short review from Lorerunner (a decent YTer imo) critiquing the bugs and weak story.

I've watched most of his videos on crpg's and looked at his "review system", I just wish he wasn't so autistic about certain things. He has a hardon for Mass Effect 2 because he autistically headcanons 95% of things and his headcanon for ME2 he just happens to really like. Other weird things like NEEDING music in games, and I'm not talking about backing tracks or atmospheric music, he basically wants a soundtrack meant to be listened to outside the game, which I don't agree with. He also gets butthurt when a game has spiders because "so many people have arachnophobia you should add an option to get rid of them".

But then he turns around and has some great analysis like with Age of Decadence or Witcher 1. It's always a 50/50 whether or not his vid will be great or just shit fanboying.

I saw some of his videos and now I'm just sad how he lives.

But enough about SDG

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

Good short review from Lorerunner (a decent YTer imo) critiquing the bugs and weak story.

Looks like a much younger King Crispy after a hair transplant.

 

[Lagole Gon]

Crispy is thinner and somewhat more handsome.

 

[Heroic Liberator]

Good short review from Lorerunner (a decent YTer imo) critiquing the bugs and weak story.

I've watched most of his videos on crpg's and looked at his "review system", I just wish he wasn't so autistic about certain things. He has a hardon for Mass Effect 2 because he autistically headcanons 95% of things and his headcanon for ME2 he just happens to really like. Other weird things like NEEDING music in games, and I'm not talking about backing tracks or atmospheric music, he basically wants a soundtrack meant to be listened to outside the game, which I don't agree with. He also gets butthurt when a game has spiders because "so many people have arachnophobia you should add an option to get rid of them".

But then he turns around and has some great analysis like with Age of Decadence or Witcher 1. It's always a 50/50 whether or not his vid will be great or just shit fanboying.

I saw some of his videos and now I'm just sad how he lives.

Speaking of his life...

Spoiler

Source please?

I can't give you the link, he nuked the thread - but I was showing that stuff to a friend who did not have an access to the forums so I saved some of it and I can show it here:

The accuser is my oldest child. Magus may have mentioned her once or twice in his videos, I don't remember. While he lived here they were very close, and hung out a lot. About a year after he moved out and over to Indiana, my oldest told me what happened, and took a couple of days to decide to go to police and press charges. We compiled evidence, which included IM archives, journal entries, a list of witnesses (one of my oldest's friends allegedly saw them have sexual contact), and other, smaller things. The police, lead detective, and ADA took a year to compile all the evidence and write up a sworn affidavit to present to a judge to try and get an arrest warrant. The judge signed the warrant, and here we are.

This contact happened for 3.5 years, according to my child, between the ages of 11 and 14. (My eldest was 14 when Magus moved out, and my child stopped sexual contact shortly before that.) That's why the charges are so severe.

From the defense's perspective, this is what they have - The child waited until a full year after the fact to tell anyone, there's no bodily evidence, and the witnesses could be unreliable.

I couldn't tell you anything beyond that, because I don't know what evidence is being used.

So Cold - Let me tell to you a thing.

I'm not his "ex", and my child was NOT his child. My child is my husband's child from LONG BEFORE I met Magus.

Also, when this first started? My child was eleven years old. ELEVEN. 11. As in NOT ABLE TO CONSENT. You say "what if she came on to him" - First off she was ELEVEN. YOU DON'T FUCK AN 11 YEAR OLD. EVER. PERIOD. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Second off, as an adult, YOU DON'T FUCK AN 11 YEAR OLD. EVER. PERIOD. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. OR A 12 YEAR OLD. OR A 13 YEAR OLD. OR A 14 YEAR OLD.

THIS WENT ON FOR THREE AND A HALF YEARS.

One more thing? I didn't even know this forum EXISTED until I received a message inviting me to it.

So you can take your assumptions and shove them up your ass.

I'm done playing nice here. There's a difference between doubt and support, and some of the bullshit that's been said.

Yeah, Archengeia seems like SUCH a GREAT guy... UNTIL HE FUCKING MOLESTS YOUR KID.

Zeiss knows who I am. I've already proven who I am.

The ONLY reason I've been lurking here the past couple of days was to see if anyone had any more questions for me. But no. Just more bullshit.

Y'all can keep track of this case on your own. I'm out.

People from the forum were accessing his information from some public court site, but because I'm not in the US I couldn't access it and I wasn't going to set up a VPN just for that this is what people who could see it had to say. You can believe it or not it is your choice:

There are a couple of things that are not in his favor in regards to this case:

1) According to johnson county court records, he is a felon. He plead guilty to a felony criminal damage back in 2006 and did time in jail. The point is, he is not a first time offender.
2) the judge that is assigned to his case was a police officer for almost 10 years. Based on personal experience with law enforcement, she will not look kindly on someone who is accused of having relations with a child. This brings me to my next point:
3) 2 of the 4 counts that he is being charged with are "off grid" felonies, meaning that if he is convicted, the judge is not bound by a "grid" for determining his sentince. From what I understand, she is within her right to give him life in prison, because she is not bound to a grid for sentencing (10 years for a first time offender, 15 for a 1 time offender, etc..).

I honestly don't know what to think anymore. The arch we thought we new wasn't the arch in real life. Its clear why he wanted to hide his real name.

He plead guilty to battery and felony criminal damage in 2006. According to court documents he was ordered to pay restitution totaling $4,523.24. Now whether that was the total amount of damage that he did (the details of which, it doesn't specify), or whether that was on top of everything, I'm not sure.

Its funny, I was rewatching his mass effect ruminations recently. He mentioned that he never played ME1 when it came out. We now know why: Because he was in Jail when the game came out. There's further detail in the court documents. I'm reading "domestic violence" in there. I could speculate who that person was, but don't have anything to back it up.

I remember his stories always had a gap of time in the mid 2000's. I figured it was the time he said he was homeless, but I never considered why he was homeless to begin with.

I dont know if anyone has seen yet, but they posted the details of the hearing he had today:

"COUNT 1 21-3502.OG PLAINTIFF APPEARS BY A HENDERSON,DEFENDANT APPEARS IN CUSTODY WITH ATTORNEY P CRAMM,DEFENDANT ORDERED TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT NEXT COURT HEARING ,COMMENT BOND MODIFIED BY AGREMENT OF THE PARTIES TO $150000 CA-SU;SAME CONDITIONS (SW)(ER)"

\



So in short because the child waited he may get out this scott free. Not guilty doesn't mean innocent though.

 

[BosanskiSeljak]

So in short because the child waited he may get out this scott free. Not guilty doesn't mean innocent though.

It also doesn't mean guilty or to be treated as such in a world where retards will try to ruin someone's life for any reason

 

[Black]

 

[processdaemon]

This thread has been a monumental disappointment to me, so in the interest of supporting haters and trash talkers across the globe, I’ve decided to offer a prize for the poster who can make me cringe the most with a screenshot or *short* video clip from Baldur's Gate 3.

-Prize will be a game of your choice from GoG, valued at $20 CAD or less. I’ll send you a code via PM.

-Contest ends at an arbitrary time of my choosing next Saturday

-keep video clips really short please, like 2 minutes is pushing the limits. I want a *quick* laugh/cringe which is fun in short doses but becomes painful very quickly.

-Everyone is allowed to enter, even if you’re one of my forum enemies or a BG3 superfan

Your brother in hatred,
jaekl

Current contest leader: consgay with trenchcoat guy talking about baldur's gate in a storage locker

I don't need a prize but I'm happy to share the cringe screenshot collection I took for my friend who can't play it yet (I maintain that it's still a fun game overall though). Pretty much everything Gale and Halsin say makes me burn with embarrassment so I've just chosen my favourite 2 for them, but if you want more cringe from them just search for any of their dialogue on youtube.

 

[BosanskiSeljak]

Pretty much everything Gale and Halsin say makes me burn with embarrassment

Cope

You make an account and post hundreds of messages just about this game, you love it, at least own up to it

 

[processdaemon]

Pretty much everything Gale and Halsin say makes me burn with embarrassment

Cope

You make an account and post hundreds of messages just about this game, you love it, at least own up to it

I said as much in my comment

I maintain that it's still a fun game overall though

 

[SmilingGorion]

Pretty much everything Gale and Halsin say makes me burn with embarrassment

Cope

You make an account and post hundreds of messages just about this game, you love it, at least own up to it

"In any discourse, there can only ever exist one side of the argument."

 

[BosanskiSeljak]

Pretty much everything Gale and Halsin say makes me burn with embarrassment

Cope

You make an account and post hundreds of messages just about this game, you love it, at least own up to it

I said as much in my comment

I maintain that it's still a fun game overall though

I'm not talking about the "game", I'm talking about the faggotry, you love it. You're not embarrassed by it

 

[processdaemon]

Pretty much everything Gale and Halsin say makes me burn with embarrassment

Cope

You make an account and post hundreds of messages just about this game, you love it, at least own up to it

I said as much in my comment

I maintain that it's still a fun game overall though

I'm not talking about the "game", I'm talking about the faggotry, you love it. You're not embarrassed by it

There is nobody on this site (or on the internet as a whole) whose opinion matters enough to me that I would get 'embarrassed' over what they might incorrectly assume of me because of the games I play.

 

[jaekl]

This thread has been a monumental disappointment to me, so in the interest of supporting haters and trash talkers across the globe, I’ve decided to offer a prize for the poster who can make me cringe the most with a screenshot or *short* video clip from Baldur's Gate 3.

-Prize will be a game of your choice from GoG, valued at $20 CAD or less. I’ll send you a code via PM.

-Contest ends at an arbitrary time of my choosing next Saturday

-keep video clips really short please, like 2 minutes is pushing the limits. I want a *quick* laugh/cringe which is fun in short doses but becomes painful very quickly.

-Everyone is allowed to enter, even if you’re one of my forum enemies or a BG3 superfan

Your brother in hatred,
jaekl

Current contest leader: consgay with trenchcoat guy talking about baldur's gate in a storage locker

I don't need a prize but I'm happy to share the cringe screenshot collection I took for my friend who can't play it yet (I maintain that it's still a fun game overall though). Pretty much everything Gale and Halsin say makes me burn with embarrassment so I've just chosen my favourite 2 for them, but if you want more cringe from them just search for any of their dialogue on youtube.

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Hell yeah, an easy steal for the lead, does anyone dare try to top this detestable display? Or will Processdaemon take the crown of cringelord unopposed?? Stay tuned to find out.

 

[BosanskiSeljak]

There is nobody on this site (or on the internet as a whole) whose opinion matters enough to me that I would get 'embarrassed' over what they might incorrectly assume of me because of the games I play.

Are you retarded? You don't even remember what you wrote?

Pretty much everything Gale and Halsin say makes me burn with embarrassment

No they don't, you love the faggot degeneracy.

 

[processdaemon]

There is nobody on this site (or on the internet as a whole) whose opinion matters enough to me that I would get 'embarrassed' over what they might incorrectly assume of me because of the games I play.

Are you retarded? You don't even remember what you wrote?

Pretty much everything Gale and Halsin say makes me burn with embarrassment

No they don't, you love the faggot degeneracy.

I remembered what I wrote, I riffed off the word embarrassment to make a statement that (I thought) made it clear that I wasn't interested in arguing about your perception of me any further. I don't want to derail the thread so I'll leave you to contemplate my supposed gayness in peace.

 

[Bibbimbop]

Help me understand.
How is Shadowheart a cleric of Shar? You know, an evil deity? What alignment does she fit in?

She's a demure non-entity. Alignment doesn't exist anymore in 5e anyway.

5e still has an Alignment system, though. They just changed the terminology a bit.

Lawful = Female
Neutral = Non-Binary
Chaotic = Male

Good = Homosexual
Neutral = Bisexual
Evil = Heterosexual

There's a 1:1 equivalency between being a Chaotic Evil and a Heterosexual Male character. Same damn thing.

Meanwhile, what really is the difference between a True Neutral druid and a Non-binary Bisexual druid?

Of course, the only way to play the role of warrior for Truth and Justice is to be a fat ugly bull-dyke lesbian. It's basically synonymous with being a Paladin at this point in Western culture.

Anyway, so glad I don't play RPGs. Really dodged a bullet here.

 

[Akachi]

Meanwhile, what really is the difference between a True Neutral druid and a Non-binary Bisexual druid?

The non-binary bisexual druid, although coming from a bisexual species, is not beholden to this binary because it can wildshape into a multisexual species like paramecium that has 5-10 sexes or the quadrisexual basidiomycetes.

 

[Chippy]

So I'm going to join my first D&D campaign this weekend, I'm super stoked. My plan is to play a Human Wizard - I know, cliché, but I have a killer idea for a background. He will be a wizarding prodigy, so good at magic that he even draws the attention of Mystra herself. She teaches him how to make the most of his potential, and they embark upon a romantic, sexual relationship. They will pass many happy years together, with my Wizard enjoying the simple life in Waterdeep in his grand wizard tower, with his cat, fine wine, and many books to keep him company when his goddess girlfriend isn't around. All goes well until my Wizard, in a desperate attempt to win Mystra's love and trust for all eternity - unleashes a fragment of weave that was lost to Mystra that is capable of erasing all magic from existence.

To save the world, my Wizard absorbs this fragment temporarily. But wait! To contain it, he will have to absorb some of the magical items we will find on our campaign. He also will not be able to be killed permanently, for if he does the fragment in him will explode like an atomic bomb causing a TPK. I think this could lead to some very interesting scenarios in our campaign. Of course it'll need to be cured at some point. I've already got a story hook planned out where the famous wizard Elminster seeks our adventuring group out to help us deal with the problem. In the end my plan is for my Wizard to gain control over this fragment and become a demigod.

What do you think guys, will my DM like it?

Your DM wont like it unless your wizard has to learn to control the weave and expand on his magical powers by becoming a woman for a set period of time, and to have a 16" cock, 4" thick swinging between her legs that she used every night on every race in Faerun with a hole.

You might even try to convine your DM that your mage can 'dual class' their gender at set times, allowing him/her to be a fighter/wizard/cleric/thief & then whatever x4 more modern classes are out there for their second chosen gender. Just to be inclusive you understand.

Then there's the bestiality shapeshifting...