CKII is released.

[MasterSmithFandango]

You can hire merc fleets, too. Expensive as shit, but... ya know.

 

[RK47]

You can hire merc fleets, too. Expensive as shit, but... ya know.

cant' find any bro. i have 16k gold so i money is no object

 

[Average Manatee]

It will be an object when you see their price tag. Merc fleets make jews look honest.

 

[Konjad]

You can hire merc fleets, too. Expensive as shit, but... ya know.

cant' find any bro. i have 16k gold so i money is no object

check out at the bottom of the mercenary list, they are there, they must be.

 

[RK47]

 

[IDtenT]

Yeah, you need to be in range of the mercenary homeland.

 

[stabby]

Alright, I may be mistaken as it's been a couple of days since I booted it up (with that time spent nursing a bitch of a hangover), but won't you find the merc fleets under the Fleet Levies tab?

 

[Horus]

cant' find any bro. i have 16k gold so i money is no object

I don't remember if it's only a consequence but i always get more mercenaries as the game goes on(doesn't matter if you started from 1380)
Probably same mechanic as the holy orders.

 

[RK47]

game over on 1453
o well, conquered the holy land and byzantine still intact ^_^

 

[Kukulkan]

game over on 1453
o well, conquered the holy land and byzantine still intact ^_^

Import your game to EU3.

 

[RK47]

you can do that? o_O

 

[Sranchammer]

The Crusades AI is an abomination.

 

[RK47]

Heheh...

"We have the Cyprus chapter surrounded - our forces have landed at their recruiting homeworld - only 3000 Cyprus Marines stand between us and victory... Attack in the name of Allah!! Wait! What is that?!"

A burning vessel streaking through the sky - crashing to the ground creating a giant crater.

"Delivery service completed. Retinue of Fury has been joined by 20,000 Mercs. Guardsman levy raised. Burn. Purge. Kill. For the Emprah!"

 

[XenomorphII]

you can do that? o_O

Paradox forums link (probably requires being registered there): http://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/showthread.php?587798-The-CK2-To-EU3-Converter-Project

Mod page: http://sourceforge.net/projects/ck2toeu3/

No idea how well it actually works though.

 

[MadMaxHellfire]

very bad. paradox keeps saying it's difficult. rather than hard, i think it's a long work of adapting maps, the "sliders" issue could be solved in a number of ways, one easier than another.

 

[RK47]

Started a new playthrough as Isle of Man.
First thing first, I'm indie, and I know EA will swallow me up. So I thought , maybe I should go England...or Scotland?
I went for the latter for some challenge.

Oh well. What a piece of shit. Braveheart was a lie - Mel Gibson couldn't save Scotland. We're all getting our asses kicked left and right, and my shit of a son lost his county - USURPED and turned into a Court Chaplain - Fucking hell. Still, being a nice guy, I just kept plugging at it and passed away. Two three generations later , after so many stupid ass fuck cock sucking highlanders ramming cocks at each other over princes the universe title I decided to unleash hell on their ass.

Enter Captain Art and the Irish Band. I saved 300 gold - that's my life savings, those separatist scum DARED to attack the ISLE OF MAN with a 2k STACK? I'LL FUCKING SHOW THEM.
THREE THOUSAND IRISHMEN DROPS FROM THE SKY AND PUSH THEM OFF. BUT THAT'S NOT ENUFF.

We march to Galloway by parting the ocean with our jesus bathed dicks. And raped every. Single. Stack.
Captain Art reminds me every month will cost us quite a sum , but I told him if his army size shrinks , I'm paying less right? He nods so off we go sieging every single separatist keep for gold. When that ran out, I decided I've had enough of watching Scotland being raped from inside out. I want to rape her myself. Before the new Princess of Scotland can say 'OH MY SWEET HERO OF MAN' after I took out the last separatist stack , I told her to suck my dick cause I'm going anal on the whole kingdom and want to go back to the good ol' times of being indie.

R U SRS? - she asked? YA RLY. I sieged every single pathetic holding she had - garrisoned by 100-600 scared, scottish lads, waiting to be raped by Captain's Irish Band of Dicks.

To prove my point, I killed every singe noble I captured. I ransomed a few rich ones to pay off Captain Art and it lasted almost a decade of 100% Independence War I've won SINGLEHANDEDLY WITH NO OUTSIDE FACTION but I still raped Scotland over and over till her vagina overflows with Art's sperm.

When all was said and done, Captain Art's men shrunk to 1000 but they've raped so many scottish women and men - they're happy with the longest contract they've ever taken. A single Earl from the Isle of Man is able to bring Scotland to her knees, and she wants MOAR manly cock, but NO MOAR> EVER.

I decided enough is enough. It's time to leave this shit GTA studio and go back to indie - and send a proposal to EA to buy out my awesome island.

EA being impressed by the ISLE OF MAN pwning their mortal enemies in the north takes us in, and that's how the Isle of Man became English. on Aug 23, 1123.


ALSO:

THIS IS MY SON
I NAMED HIM AFTER CAPTAIN ART.

And this is my best friend.

 

[RK47]

1142 - Scotland loses a son and gains a fearsome enemy. The Earl of Manhood, vengeful at their abject failure strikes back all too willingly under the banner of King Robert the Fat of England. Fat Boy Slim really got a good killer subject - the moment the war is declared - two mercenary army was called into action, Captain Art and Arthur struck a killing blow at the pathetic Scots. There was no pride - only rape.

But one wonders: what can change the nature of Man?

1144 - The France Mercenary Army arrives in England, catching Fat Boy Slim off guard - attempts to raise a levy and retinue capable of matching the 13,000 strong forces is futile - the foolish King went off on crusades, forgetting that there's still filthy french across the shore.

Can the Isle of Man save their new King from his own foolishness?

"Impossible," Captain Conall of the Irish Band declared. "You can pay us to kill someone, anyone, but we won't kill ourselves." the new captain said. Old Art retired the year before, a rich man. 5000 strong mercs stand ready to defend the Isle of Man, unwilling to march to Essex.

"Conall. There is only one path we can go-"
"Where is it, Boss?"
"North."

Scotland, 1145

"I'm scared..." the little boy looked at his Regent.
"Be brave my lord, for you are the King of Scotland."
"Why is uncle doing this?"
"He wants your throne, your majesty... but rest assured we are doing all we can.."
"A message from the south to King Gilchrist II of Scotland! THIS IS IMPORTANT!" a messenger rushed into the throne room.
"Who is it?"
"Sir, they've returned."
"Who?"
"That Man."
"What man? Who is it? Where is he from?"
"The man from the Isle of Man. He has decided to swear fealty to King Gilchrist and march under the banner of Scotland!"
"Impossible!"
"They're already here!" the child looks excitedly outside of the parapet. 2000-strong mercenary forces scatter the separatist forces - slaughtering everything in its path.

The Sons of Man returned to Scotland's fold - wielding a sword that strikes terror on any rebels.

The french have enough problems on their hands to care about a tiny island.

"Milord, are you alright?"
"I am fine, Earl Gabran...of the Isle of Man. You've saved Scotland."
"No milord, Scotland has saved us." he bowed deeply.

Scotland grew stronger in the coming years, The Isle of Man unstoppable in their claim of Irish territories. None dare to challenge the scots so openly. And finally, the Earl of Man is no more - he is now Duke of Ulster, holder of five counties.

"Twenty years ago, this man saved my life. He saved Scotland. And for that, there is no greater honor than to present him with the County of Oriel as reward to his services. May your reign be everlasting."

Long Live Gilchrist II - and Gabran, savior of Scotland!

 

[stabby]

R U SRS? - she asked? YA RLY. I sieged every single pathetic holding she had - garrisoned by 100-600 scared, scottish lads, waiting to be raped by Captain's Irish Band of Dicks.

Can't say I've quite read a write up of a CK2 game quite like this before, but it does work in some odd fashion... good show ol' chap!

 

[Cassidy]

Retaking the British Isles with the real Britons(Welsh and Bretons) is an interesting game goal to set.

As is trying to conquer them with the power of Djinn and turn them into a Caliphate.

 

[LundB]

R U SRS? - she asked? YA RLY. I sieged every single pathetic holding she had - garrisoned by 100-600 scared, scottish lads, waiting to be raped by Captain's Irish Band of Dicks.

Can't say I've quite read a write up of a CK2 game quite like this before, but it does work in some odd fashion... good show ol' chap!

I enjoy playing CK2, but this is one of the first AAR writeups that hasn't bored me to tears. Good show indeed.

 

[RK47]

Scotland STRONG

 

[IDtenT]

Just as a hint, you shouldn't let Scotland get too strong without you at the helm. Well, if your aspirations is to run Scotland. Also what is that king title in Wales?

 

[Multiple Sarcasm]

Wasn't there a "Press all claims" CB somewhere? I now have several claims against the Genoa, but the game only allows me to choose only one per war. Le baise?

 

[Kattze]

Wasn't there a "Press all claims" CB somewhere? I now have several claims against the Genoa, but the game only allows me to choose only one per war. Le baise?

IIRC, it is only for strong claims and does not include claimant's in your court.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Wasn't there a "Press all claims" CB somewhere? I now have several claims against the Genoa, but the game only allows me to choose only one per war. Le baise?

IIRC, it is only for strong claims and does not include claimant's in your court.

Correct. Though this means that if you get lucky your Chancellor can get you a big pot of loot.

 

[Merkwürdigliebe]

Just as a hint, you shouldn't let Scotland get too strong without you at the helm. Well, if your aspirations is to run Scotland. Also what is that king title in Wales?

Andalusia.