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Joggerino

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 28, 2020
Messages
4,588
Great seeing this game here. I'm really curious how you will complete the hostage level, I always got stuck there.
 
Unwanted

Kalin

Unwanted
Dumbfuck Zionist Agent
Joined
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Messages
1,868,264
Location
Al Scandiya
Mission #5 - Das war ein Befehl



Yeah that's right - actual video for once! Dante is getting uppity disobeying a direct order like that. Didn't he get the memo about meds?

Well, what can we do. Basically:


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This herding mission isn't difficult as much as frustrating. It can actually be finished with just a couple of guys.

That said... Why do it the easy way? A hospital full of doctors and nurses is a great recruiting opportunity.





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Going all-in - goal is not just to fix up the kid, but take the whole fucking hospital hostage.

Lightbane, who failed to properly read the updates, will be left outside to fight advancing cops with suicide bombing.

Kalarion gets the honour of backing him up with assault rifle and grenade action.


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Here's the overview - there's a door in the central northern part of the building as well which Azira will rig with a booby trap...


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... after dropping off the kid, that is, because for some reason he's the designated kid mule.

Bunch of nurses are taken as hostage right off the bat. Only a MALE doctor can fix up the kid obv.

Bros are also sent SE to check for sneaky police and take captives.


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Bingo! Found the doc and got two nurses, bringing those back to base.


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Piece of shit doctor tried to make a run for it, caught me unaware as I was trying to micromanage this crap.

Lightbane caught the cunt and sent him straight back in.


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Caught and disarmed a security guard as well.


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And just as the doctor finally starts working the cops arrive - with lightbane out of position. Great, just great...


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Sheeeeeeit-


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Alright, kiddo is patched up, time to gtfo, I'm telling everyone to run for it.

Everyone except lightbane and Kalarion, whom I drunkenly tasked with charging the doom stack!


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Most of the guys are making it out, but Uncle Azira and Cosby are cornered by the feds...


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Motherfucker! Azira made it, but lazy ass Cosby got busted again while I was planting explosive...

Did my best to lure them towards it but that sneaky cop from the left screwed it up.

At the same time, Kalarion is rushing in to throw a grenade...


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...which lands smack-dab in the middle of the stack! At the same time, retreating lightbane sets off the first bomb.

ALLAHUUU-


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-AAAAaaooh SHIT! Fucking blast took out Kalarion as well. :lol:


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Hilariously the cops all scattered to avoid the grenade, some delayed detonation on that thing...


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Heheh there we go! Got one maybe? Idk man it happened so fast.


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Pigs are everywhere now but they're still not shooting, maybe because lightbane isn't shooting with a firearm?

I decided to blow him up as punishment and positioned him on top of his last bomb...


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...but RNG gods did not will it! The cops wouldn't take the bait, keeping away from the explosive.

Hilarious stutter-step back and forth positioning ensued until the moment above materialized, a perfect opportunity...


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...to roast some infidel pigs! AKBAR! BITCH!


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Touched by this valiant display, and since he was so close to the border of the map, I had to make a run for it...


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...and it fucking worked! Good thing lightbane didn't have to gather his party before venturing forth.

Also as you can see, that blast wasn't so bad. Kalarion is still alive and will get tended to by hot nurses at the FED's expense.

Well... At another hospital, I reckon, this one is kinda empty now.


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And with that, Dante gets ripped on but we get a fat bonaz - Great Leader is most pleased with the new recruits!


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For all the fireworks we actually only killed two cops and injured four. Still good work if you ask me.


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And there's the final tally - not too shabby. Best part of it all though? What happened right after!

Check it out:


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Our busted bros Kalarion and brutha Zanzoken waltz right out of jail as if nothing happened! :lol:

The Order must have some truly top-tier shark-mouth elite lawyer to pull this off.

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Last edited:
Glory to Ukraine
Joined
Nov 22, 2020
Messages
2,595
Strap Yourselves In Codex Year of the Donut Codex+ Now Streaming!
Damn, we got an injured child, so lets take over a whole hospital? I like that our leadership is thinking big like that!

Great work on this mission! Those bombs do seem somewhat underpowered (even factoring in the body armor on the SWAT people), but we still inflicted almost 33% casualities on the cops while effectively suffering zero loses ourselves. Thats about as good as it can get.
 

lightbane

Arcane
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
10,558
Lightbane, who failed to properly read the updates, will be left outside to fight advancing cops with suicide bombing.
Hey, I follow your updates daily! If only because I cannot be sure when you will go crazy and delete this LP.
Also, can you hide the updates inside a spoiler box, please?

Kalarion gets the honour of backing him up with assault rifle and grenade action.
Wait, you're not supposed to cover a suicide bomber, especially with grenades...

Only a MALE doctor can fix up the kid obv.

Really? Kek, this wouldn't run in today's clown world.

Everyone except lightbane and Kalarion, whom I drunkenly tasked with charging the doom stack!

Victoly and death!

Pigs are everywhere now but they're still not shooting, maybe because lightbane isn't shooting with a firearm?

Good thing I'm of the right skin color, I suppose.

I decided to blow him up as punishment and positioned him on top of his last bomb...

Hey, don't sacrifice me unnecessarily!

...but RNG gods did not will it! The cops wouldn't take the bait, keeping away from the explosive.

But, for some reason the cops didn't shoot the bomber, and instead kept their distance.

And with that, Dante gets ripped on but we get a fat bonaz - Great Leader is most pleased with the new recruits!

The recruits get randomly imprisoned, and this guy only gets a stern warning? Favoritism!

The Order must have some truly top-tier shark-mouth elite lawyer to pull this off.

I dunno who's that but I hate him already.
 

baud

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Dec 11, 2016
Messages
3,992
Location
Septentrion
RPG Wokedex Strap Yourselves In Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath I helped put crap in Monomyth
the auto-generated subtiles on the video were fucking lit
Also is the guy speaking suffering from schizophrenia or there's two different speaker?
 

Corvinus

Arcane
Joined
Oct 12, 2011
Messages
1,969
Imagine if this would happen for real. I'd love to see how they would paint attacks such as these in the brainwashing outlets news.

Also is the guy speaking suffering from schizophrenia or there's two different speaker?

In the last briefing Dante, our superior, is speaking to Basho, the leader of the identity faith movement, who's silhouette appears on the screen. It would appear that he plays a dangerous game as he orders us to disobey direct commands from the majestic one.

Also, what is going on with Bill in that .gif? Massive involuntary spasms? :lol:
 
Unwanted

Kalin

Unwanted
Dumbfuck Zionist Agent
Joined
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Messages
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Location
Al Scandiya
Corvinus knows what's up.

For spoilers, SWAT 2 pics are YUGE so putting them in spoiler tags makes it painful for me to read on my midget screen.

Guess we can do the old-fashioned thing and bump to the next page.
 
Unwanted

Kalin

Unwanted
Dumbfuck Zionist Agent
Joined
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Messages
1,868,264
Location
Al Scandiya
Mission #6 - Kikinapped


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Alright men, you heard glorious leader! To save this planet we need to kidnap a sicko suitist from his home.

A fairly easy mission due to a design flaw, but I won't use that (real samurai and all that).

Because we've neglected training I decided to only use four guys and let the rest concentrate on grinding their SKILLS.

Training costs money but we have plenty to spare now.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


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And here's the overview. A simple in and out, but there's a catch - the mansion has an alarm system.

SWAT will be alerted the moment we bust in and try to block the driveway. Hilariously, the devs fucked this one up.

See the gap in the fence up in the northwestern corner? You can slip through and also exit the map there. :lol:


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We'll just play as the devs intended. Here's the main entrance where most of the action will take place.

Lightbane gets to rig the driveway while Storyfag, Parsimonious cook and baud storm the house.


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We have explosive! Tammany's car will serve as the getaway vehicle.


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Just gotta wait for the pigs to show up...


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Meanwhile, the boys storm the house and find the target right away. Look at his pricky face!


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For good measure we also kidnap his wife and child - the more the merrier, and it should help keep the cops off our backs.

Each bro can only control one hostage so we leave the maid for now.


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So far so good...


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And here they come! Twenty something sickos.


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Ha! The cop on the right sees the explosive and tries to run, but lightbane's got his sticky finger on the trigger-


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First squad is decimated but more cops are rushing in. Amusingly they don't fire yet.

Man, if only we'd have more bombs in the armory...


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Come on, move! Go go go!


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Oh for f@#!% - car is full and we can't squeeze either Cook or the wife in there!


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Screw it! No time! Driver steps on it and Cook ditches the bitch to make a run for it.


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Feds try to block the speeding car... With dubious success!


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:lol::lol::lol:


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Big bunch of cops around but the guys take a sharp left and speed off into the sunset!


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Parsimonious cook isn't so lucky - cop are after him, can't see them due to line of sight but they're there alright.


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After a brief chase the officer attempting to arrest him eats some bullets.


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One down, big bunch to go. Bullets incoming from enemies taking cover behind the hedge.

Nice to see them duck and cover like that tbh - A.I. in this game ranges from retarded to almost competent.


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Alright, safe for now but not for long. Only thing I could think of was to re-enter the home and grab Juanita.

Maybe with another hostage they will hold their fire...


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Alright, backdoor entrance worked!


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Found her. Now we just have to-





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:what:

Motherfucking SWAT sniper! Looking carefully, there was a blue dot on the roof of the southernmost building.

Must have had line of sight in through the window and green light to take the shot.


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Great Leader is energized as always though. Bonaz baby!


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Although it turns out we didn't even need the family members! Cook would've fit into the car after all...

Okay bro I screwed up there, but in my defense: A) I was drinking, B) how was I supposed to know?


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Meanwhile the training has been most fruitful - yummy strong gains bros, keep it up.

In memoriam of Parsimonious cook, second Holy Martyr of the Order:

 
Last edited:
Glory to Ukraine
Joined
Nov 22, 2020
Messages
2,595
Strap Yourselves In Codex Year of the Donut Codex+ Now Streaming!
No life given in the Emperor´s Basho´s service is a life wasted! :hero:


Again, things went pretty well other than the car SNAFU, though honestly getting killed while trying to get another sex slave hostage and potential recruit for the group is about as honorable an end as one could wish for.
 

Zanzoken

Arcane
Joined
Dec 16, 2014
Messages
4,064
Man this game is legend. It has gunfights, explosions, lulz, deep philosophical meaning, big 90s sex offender glasses, haiku, car chases. They really don't make 'em like this any more.
 

Joggerino

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 28, 2020
Messages
4,588
I'm not sure if i remember this right. If you leave your man with weapon activated (green circle) is the AI going to automatically fire when appropriate?
 

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