Soys Row 2022

[JamesDixon]

 

[Gastrick]

Here's your reward for 100% completion, bro.

https://files.catbox.moe/4kruxe.webm

warning: giga cringe ahead

Hope this is the punishment for playing poorly and getting the bad ending. Giga cringe is right.

 

[Cricket McBangle]

I’ll ”review” this game but I haven’t had much time with it and I’m probably not going to play anymore.

For context, I'm not really a Saints Row fan but I've always enjoyed playing them with a friend of mine and we were looking to do the same with this new one. Saints Row 2 and Saints Row 4 would be my favorites with Saints Row The Third always feeling the most disappointing of the bunch (I never played Gat Out Of Hell) but still fun and mindless enough to where I could play it and forget about it with a reasonably good time as soon as I was done.

Now obviously Saints Row doesn't belong in the same category as Fallout or Cyberpunk but like those franchises, the latest is a technical disaster through and through. If you're used to janky buggy games on release, I still would say this doesn't cut it. Usually games that are janky and buggy but tolerable are RPGs that were shoved out the door too soon. Also key to being able to tolerate janky buggy games is that underneath the technical problems is a great game underneath it all.

But this new Saints Row doesn't have that luxury. Fixing it would mean having to re-do it. This is easily one of the worst games I've played in recent memory. Its a neutered Saints Row 2 with a Saints Row The Third coat of paint. Playing it feels like an anti-climatic ending or not allowing pop-pop to die in peace and you have to see his family tell him how the Starbucks fucked up their soy latte.

While not immediately noticeably, Saints Row offers the weakest gameplay of the bunch. There's your standard Saints Row experience but none of it really feels like they belong together. Rather it feels like a sad attempt of "Now That's What I Call Saints Row". Character customization, for example, is not as expansive or as fun as I remember it was in the previous games. Insurance Fraud is back but I had a lot of issues trying to get it to work; cars would not appear or cars would get stuck. You can take over businesses and use that as part of your criminal enterprise but it doesn't really add to anything.

There's a clear attempt to satiate the appetite behind not following up on Saints Row 2's systems but you can no longer rob stores. You can't even kill the shopkeepers.

Combat also takes a noticeable hit. In old Saints Row games, you would use money to upgrade your guns and your skills. Easy enough. Now you level-up and such which justifies enemies having higher health-meters and being a chore to take down. Saints Row was never a challenging series by any means but this feels like an incredibly amateurish and lazy way to artificially inject challenge. Any enemy that's "tough" in Saints Row just means you need to shoot at them long enough. Take-downs, which are by no means new to Saints Row, quickly become tedious and annoying. In Doom Eternal, take-downs (or glory kills) are essential but they're quick and dirty and don't fuck up the pace. In Saints Row, they take just a few seconds longer and it gets boring especially when there aren't enough variations to keep things fresh.

The biggest addition I'd have to say is the ability to lay down on the roof of any moving vehicle. It's an alright novelty but quickly devolves into a "turret" section.

Tone and characters often did much of the heavy lifting for the Saints Row series and I gotta say, these are the sorriest and most boring piece of shit characters in any game I've ever played. You might ask yourself is it because you're getting older or are new games getting shit. Well you can't do anything about getting older but you couldn't write a more pandering, cynical and unimaginative cast of characters if you'd tried. They're not characters. They're humourless stand-ins to represent Millennial and Gen-Z problems.

I can't see anyone genuinely liking this.

 

[Fargus]

Here's your reward for 100% completion, bro.

https://files.catbox.moe/4kruxe.webm

warning: giga cringe ahead

LOL this is fucking pitiful.

I chuckled. If only because these blissful lala-land safespace faggot-devs actually thought of it as a good scene to add into the game and not a kiloton of cringe it actually is.

 

[JamesDixon]

Yay the title got changed.

 

[Wunderbar]

Yay the title got changed.

Congratulations, you just made it harder to use forum search function.

 

[Assisted Living Godzilla]

it sure will be funny to see them retreat from the direction they went with this game

They'll just double down. If there is anyone sane still left in charge of the company won't dare try to change course because all the employees are woketards that will chimp out at the mere suggestion of actually making a good game people want.

The most merciful thing they could do was shut the company down and call it quits.

I don't know if they'd double down when it comes to actual development of a next game...if there is a next game. If you're a moron, and you're just perpetually on Twitter, you think ResetEra is the core gaming audience, and you're following politics on Twitch this direction probably seemed like the save best direction to go. Turns out it wasn't.

The thing is they need a hit, Agents of Mayham bombed hard, and this game probably won't do any better. Apart from all the bugs and shit, even the people the game is meant to be for seem to think these characters are fucking stupid.

 

[JamesDixon]

Yay the title got changed.

Congratulations, you just made it harder to use forum search function.

Why thank you. I take pride in making sure there is Truth In Advertising™.

 

[gurugeorge]

We're reaching a point where these kinds of woke millennial/zoomer "developers" are basically just cargo-cults now.

It's got electrolytes!

 

[gerey]

If you're a moron, and you're just perpetually on Twitter, you think ResetEra is the core gaming audience, and you're following politics on Twitch this direction probably seemed like the save best direction to go. Turns out it wasn't.

I'm not so sure about that - any halfway competent business will have people doing analytics on their sales and have a fairly good idea what kind of person buys their games. Remember all those articles about companies (ala Larian or BioWare) being "shocked" that 80% to 90% of their playerbase created a white male character as their avatar - which was just a convenient excuse to virtue signal and promote the liberal anti-white agenda.

What I'm trying to say is that developers/publishers have a very good idea who their playerbase is, but the choice not to pander to them is a deliberate one motivated by the political leanings of the employees and shit like Blackrock's ESG scheme.

The thing is they need a hit, Agents of Mayham bombed hard, and this game probably won't do any better. Apart from all the bugs and shit, even the people the game is meant to be for seem to think these characters are fucking stupid.

BioWare needs a hit too, as do most of the other woke developers, yet they always go out of their way to antagonize the primary gaming demographic, and then compound the issue by injecting niggers, fags, dykes and troons - thus alienating the majority of the international fanbase, since I doubt the Pajeets, Ahmeds and Jamals of the world look kindly upon Commiefornia degeneracy.

Also, even if the people they were pandering for thought the game was good, they still wouldn't buy it, since they are not actually interested in playing the games, just ruining them for everyone else.

We're reaching a point where these kinds of woke millennial/zoomer "developers" are basically just cargo-cults now.

Hire enough women and minorities and this is the kind of trainwreck you are bound to end up with.

You can usually tell which development studio lacks white and East Asian men in their workforce.

 

[Haba]

Yay the title got changed.

Congratulations, you just made it harder to use forum search function.

What do you mean? Obviously this thread has nothing to do with the Saints Row games?

 

[Pound Meat]

The Saints Row reboot had a budget of 150 million USD and will need to sell 4-5 million copies at full price to recoup its budget. Libtards killed another IP.

Leftists always double down and will always blame right-wing CHUDS for the failure of the game.

Doesn't matter. They got their ESG investments. They'll just call everyone racist for not supporting their game and move on to the next franchise.

 

[Black_Willow]

Here's your reward for 100% completion, bro.

https://files.catbox.moe/4kruxe.webm

warning: giga cringe ahead

Hope this is the punishment for playing poorly and getting the bad ending. Giga cringe is right.

Big "You are fags!" energy.

 

[Lutte]

I'm not so sure about that - any halfway competent business will have people doing analytics on their sales and have a fairly good idea what kind of person buys their games. Remember all those articles about companies (ala Larian or BioWare) being "shocked" that 80% to 90% of their playerbase created a white male character as their avatar - which was just a convenient excuse to virtue signal and promote the liberal anti-white agenda.

Yes. Telemetry has become part and parcel of life and there is no such a thing as a large corporation that doesn't know who their audience is. It's complete ignorance and naivety to think they're not politically motivated, corporations no longer are about the market or selling a product.

And there's many more stats that are just unpublished. They know everything about your playing habits and.. they don't care about it. Most of the audience is straight white males? Who cares, add more gayfaggots.

This is how corporate thinks :

The point isn't to sell a product, but to make clownworld seem normalized by having every piece of media represent clownworld. It's a form of gaslighting. Normal people, who are the majority, will end up feeling like they're the minority if all media show a piece of clownworld and start thinking they're the ones who might be wrong thinking. It's brainwashing.

 

[gerey]

And there's many more stats that are just unpublished. They know everything about your playing habits and.. they don't care about it. Most of the audience is straight white males? Who cares, add more gayfaggots.

The real kicker is that they waste an equal amount of resources pandering to a miniscule percentage of people. I am reasonably sure that BioWare is an outliner with the 80% since they pander so hard to the female/fujoshit demographic, so other games are likely even more skewed towards the white, straight, male demographic.

And yet they see fit to waste budget implementing voiced dialogue for a female lead, love interests for the female lead, gay love interests etc.

 

[udm]

I see this as a win for everyone. The Saints Row series can finally be laid to rest , Epic Games lost millions, and no one gives a shit about nuVolition anymore.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

Here's your reward for 100% completion, bro.

https://files.catbox.moe/4kruxe.webm

warning: giga cringe ahead

Huge never-partied-in-life-energy from this clip. Damn.

 

[Curious_Tongue]

I admit. I have a crush on her.

 

[Fargus]

I see this as a win for everyone. The Saints Row series can finally be laid to rest , Epic Games lost millions, and no one gives a shit about nuVolition anymore.

No doubt. And to me personally it's another entertaining trainwreck.

 

[JamesDixon]

I admit. I have a crush on her.

She's discount Kinzie with none of the charm or wit of the original.

 

[Zarniwoop]

Here's your reward for 100% completion, bro.

https://files.catbox.moe/4kruxe.webm

warning: giga cringe ahead

LOL this is fucking pitiful.

I chuckled. If only because these blissful lala-land safespace faggot-devs actually thought of it as a good scene to add into the game and not a kiloton of cringe it actually is.

This is like children pretending to play a vidyagame, the game.

For fucks sake the guy is playing with toy dinosaurs.

I petition Curious_Tongue to change the thread title to Soy Row since this abomination of a game has zero to do with real Saints Row. If you agree with this petition rate this post.

Based on that clip, it should be Sims Row.

 

[Curious_Tongue]

She's discount Kinzie with none of the charm or wit of the original.

Yeah, Kinzie was the queen.

 

[Fargus]

LOL this is fucking pitiful.

I chuckled. If only because these blissful lala-land safespace faggot-devs actually thought of it as a good scene to add into the game and not a kiloton of cringe it actually is.

This is like children pretending to play a vidyagame, the game.

For fucks sake the guy is playing with toy dinosaurs.

Not my quote, but i think it describes this scene pretty well

This looks like a Coca Cola commerical... No personality, generic people having the generic "fun" corporate executives think young people have

 

[Zarniwoop]

LOL this is fucking pitiful.

I chuckled. If only because these blissful lala-land safespace faggot-devs actually thought of it as a good scene to add into the game and not a kiloton of cringe it actually is.

This is like children pretending to play a vidyagame, the game.

For fucks sake the guy is playing with toy dinosaurs.

Not my quote, but i think it describes this scene pretty well

This looks like a Coca Cola commerical... No personality, generic people having the generic "fun" corporate executives think young people have

Dev team corporate team building event:

 

[Late Bloomer]

Remember all those articles about companies (ala Larian or BioWare) being "shocked" that 80% to 90% of their playerbase created a white male character as their avatar - which was just a convenient excuse to virtue signal and promote the liberal anti-white agenda.

Here he is