Baldur's Gate Baldur's Cringe 3 compilation thread

[tastywaffles]

That's a wide problem with modern games. I commented on it in other threads here before. The combination of romantic options and gay companions has destroyed friendship in RPGs. Which kinda sucks, I've yet to see a good romantic companion arc in a game, but friendship ones used to be great.

To "those people" every show of affection between two people MUST mean sexual tension, ESPECIALLY between the same sex. Coombrains ruined writing.

It's also prejudiced against Asexuals (the "A" in "LGBTQIA+")...

My gut thought was "they should put more of those in games instead" but then I thought about it and you'd have to listen to them drone on and "educate" you about asexuality and tell you all about their asexual backstory and they'd chime in with asexual puns/jokes/observations all the time which would be just as insufferable.

So a Bojack Horseman game? That would be an apex release, a top form of whatever the beast in the west calls culture. Maybe BG3 will have to do, as it is doing the same quite well (I'm shocked at how terrible it is, I never expected anything could be this bad.).

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In that same dialogue you have an option to outracist the guy by pointing out that he's not a real Baldurian anyway because he's from a suburb.

Bazinga!

 

[-M-]

Yoooo, anyone remember Baldur's Gate?

BG3 Spoilers

Damn, they really went full Netflix.

 

[The Abominable Showman]

Romances also push the dialog to become an endless therapy session and because every companion must have a dark secret/insecurities healed by the power of love, so on BG 3, of course, you are basically a psychologist that bang everyone of your weirdo clients.

It is like Thai massage but instead of the happy ending, you get a horny gay bear if you raise your approval rating too much.

That's what an ideal romance is to the kind of people who write these games. They're mentally ill and they find the idea of bonding with other mentally ill people over their mental illnesses to be romantic.

 

[Longes]

They picked the most baffling fucking place to stick the Trans Positivity Did I Mention That I'm Trans Yet npc ever. NPC awkwardly voiced by PhilosophyTube. The "validate your identity" NPC is in the church of Shar. The organization that brainwashed and groomed Shadowheart, and deprived her of her identity to suit the organization's whims.

I'd almost say "based" if I didn't know any better.

 

[His Dudeness]

From reading the title one would think it refers to the party controls, grouping and ungrouping and so on.

Regarding modern east coast united statesian values in the game, it was inevitable. They are the biggest market on earth and it in the game maker's detriment not to include it.

 

[Fedora Master]

Ah yes, "they HAD to do it, it's all about the MONEY"
That old spiel

 

[Chippy]

Yoooo, anyone remember Baldur's Gate?

BG3 Spoilers

If I was a writer and I had been given the amazing job to write Minsc and Sarevok, I would have played BG1 & 2 and taken notes about how each character speaks so that the highlights of their speech were evident in my game.

As usual, it's obvious they did none of that, and each character has about as much of their original character as a they would if they were run through Google translate from the original to whatever this is. In other words - the writing style is so bad (for each character) it may as well be written in another language.

 

[Tyranicon]

Take a look at any of the sword and sorcery or more pulp scifi serials, specifically Conan and John Carter. They're basically all romances for men.

Yes, that's exactly what I was referring to with "normal romance in the context of an adventure story".

The pulps were peak writing and more people need to realize this.

I think a reason that a lot of people (codexers, at any rate) are nostalgic for this kind of writing is because it doesn't shy away from heroic masculinity.

Modern media almost never unironically touches masculinity, and it's reflected in something as limp-wristed as BG3.

The barbarian, fighter, paladin and cleric are women. The rogue, warlock and wizard are men. The women are strong and brash. The men are effeminate and gentle.

We are living in times where men are not encouraged to be manly, and that's really fucking weird.

 

[N'wah]

Yoooo, anyone remember Baldur's Gate?

BG3 Spoilers

If I was a writer and I had been given the amazing job to write Minsc and Sarevok, I would have played BG1 & 2 and taken notes about how each character speaks so that the highlights of their speech were evident in my game.

As usual, it's obvious they did none of that, and each character has about as much of their original character as a they would if they were run through Google translate from the original to whatever this is. In other words - the writing style is so bad (for each character) it may as well be written in another language.

At the very least if they were going to bring back Sarevok for nostalgia bait they had to bring back Kevin Michael Richardson to reprise the role. He might not be David Warner as Irenicus levels of iconic but he's pretty damn close. One thing Beamdog did right.

He might not be a household name but he also isn't some random voice actor from the 90s that dropped out of the biz long ago.

 

[Frozen]

From reading the title one would think it refers to the party controls, grouping and ungrouping and so on.

Regarding modern east coast united statesian values in the game, it was inevitable. They are the biggest market on earth and it in the game maker's detriment not to include it.

How have you come to conclusion that woke trannies from Commiefornia are the biggest market on the planet?

They are not even the biggest market in their own state.

 

[MerchantKing]

Yoooo, anyone remember Baldur's Gate?

BG3 Spoilers

If I was a writer and I had been given the amazing job to write Minsc and Sarevok, I would have played BG1 & 2 and taken notes about how each character speaks so that the highlights of their speech were evident in my game.

As usual, it's obvious they did none of that, and each character has about as much of their original character as a they would if they were run through Google translate from the original to whatever this is. In other words - the writing style is so bad (for each character) it may as well be written in another language.

Minsc should be dead somewhere around 150 years after BG2. Binky should be dead too being human as well.

 

[Frozen]

Lots of gaming whores, I mean journos are pushing the narrative how this game is groundbreaking lel

When I ask why only answer so far was- it's so big! OMG you can explore! Genius! -aka it has content.

I wonder what normies playing this have played before if bloated game is mind-blowing to them. Probably only mobile games.

 

[Reinhardt]

Probably only mobile games.

compared to some mobile games bg3 has almost no content

 

[Mauman]

I'm so glad I decided not to buy this game. The more I read, the more I want to puke.

 

[Frozen]

Probably only mobile games.

compared to some mobile games bg3 has almost no content

So, I guess this dude that is arguing with me how it's so big and vast and has so much content to explore is BS-ing.

I assumed because I haven't played it that, if anything, as bland cringe and average and boring it is, at least it's like 150-160h long game that is polished and working because it was in beta for 3 fucking years.

Now I have no fucking clue what he is then talking about. Maybe it's big to him compared to some action single player 20h game.

 

[perfectslumbers]

They picked the most baffling fucking place to stick the Trans Positivity Did I Mention That I'm Trans Yet npc ever. NPC awkwardly voiced by PhilosophyTube. The "validate your identity" NPC is in the church of Shar. The organization that brainwashed and groomed Shadowheart, and deprived her of her identity to suit the organization's whims.

I'd almost say "based" if I didn't know any better.

Fastest I've ever killed an NPC in my life

 

[Stavrophore]

Developers are butthurt that people aren't wallowing in degeneracy

 

[ferratilis]

Whenever I hear Sarevok, I can't help but think of Gothic 1, the voice actor was prominent there, as Drax and a few other characters.
"Welcome to the colony!"

 

[NecroLord]

Whenever I hear Sarevok, I can't help but think of Gothic 1, the voice actor was prominent there, as Drax and a few other characters.
"Welcome to the colony!"

Is Kevin Michael Richardson still voicing Sarevok in this one?

 

[NecroLord]

Developers are butthurt that people aren't wallowing in degeneracy

I wouldn't fuck Shadowheart even if I was under a Geas or Compulsion to do so.
Ok, maybe if I get a bit drunk at a tavern.

 

[Reinhardt]

Developers are butthurt that people aren't wallowing in degeneracy

nigga, new stats show that cleric literally least popular class in the game. first tweet is very very old.

let's ask codex - how many of you, fags, made mc cleric?

 

[ferratilis]

Whenever I hear Sarevok, I can't help but think of Gothic 1, the voice actor was prominent there, as Drax and a few other characters.
"Welcome to the colony!"

Is Kevin Michael Richardson still voicing Sarevok in this one?

No, he's voiced by Redd Pepper, the same guy who voiced Drax in Gothic 1. Since his range is limited, you can't help but think you're listening to a Gothic character.

 

[Mauman]

I understand not using Jaheira's VA (despite the fact she did a pretty good job back in the day) because evidently she's not a VA anymore, but not using KMR is a big ole WTF.

 

[NecroLord]

I understand not using Jaheira's VA (despite the fact she did a pretty good job back in the day) because evidently she's not a VA anymore, but not using KMR is a big ole WTF.

I agree.
He was the one who made Sarevok sound like a BBEG. That evil laugh he does in TOB when you attack someone and are in combat is insane.

 

[SmilingGorion]

Has anyone made a list of NPCs with the super exotic permutation of White, Human and Body Type A?